[ SECRET POST #2028 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2028 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 107 secrets from Secret Submission Post #290.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[akashasheiress]

I love how some of the comments here are all smug BOOTSTRAPS and shit. No, actually, I hate it.

[(Anonymous)]

Seriously! How dare anybody suggest that a 24 year-old person should buck up and get a job! Everybody should be able to lay around waiting until they REALLY feel like being employed and NOBODY should suggest they're being lazy. That would just be mean.

[akashasheiress]

Nope. I'm just saying that there are conditions out there that may render a person incapable of 'bucking up'.

[(Anonymous)]

There are, but the number of people who honestly cannot do things is many, many times less than the number of people who say they can't. And giving people blanket support for their non-working ways doesn't do them any favors. It might make them feel warm and cozy for a minute online but it does the opposite of helping them in their actual lives.

My philosophy is to tell people to get a job and to keep the job because the majority of people (especially, for the love of god, 24 year-old people) who say they can't CAN. People who truly cannot will eventually figure that out after trying for a much longer time than any 24 year-old can have tried.

SJW people throw around "bootstraps" as some kind of bad word, but I have personally done much bootstrap pulling and I had plenty of excuses not to do it, and if I hadn't done it my live would be much, much shittier now.

[akashasheiress]

''...but I have personally done much bootstrap pulling and I had plenty of excuses not to do it, and if I hadn't done it my live would be much, much shittier now.''

And here we have it, the classic ''It worked for ME, so if it doesn't work for you, it must be because you're lazy/stupid/useless!''

[(Anonymous)]

I think you would have more of a leg to stand on is the secret maker had mentioned there was some reason that she wasn't working, except fear.

If someone is saying "actually this track I'm on terrifies me but I don't know what to do" saying to them "in your case, you are going to have to get out there, good luck, it can be hard but we have faith in you" is accepting and encouraging.

Saying it worked for me can be encouraging rather than attacking.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Okay, fine, let's tell everybody who's too fucking lazy to get a job that they're awesome just the way they are. I hope they'll enjoy their homelessness in a few years.

[veronica_rich]

If I may, I think you're really taking this too personally. I recognize the signs because I've done that in the past myself - not on this issue, but others.

I should write a damn book about my working life and all the crappy jobs I've had to do in the down years between "career work." I've done things for free, done things vastly underpaid, and done things for which I had no prior training (but got it fast!) to earn rent. Because there was nobody I could ask for help, and I had no children so I couldn't qualify for any social services. Believe me when I say I KNOW how hard it is to find work and to pull yourself out of a depression to look for it - I've been there.

On the one hand, you're right - nobody wants to hear how well other people are doing when they're not, and they can take it personally as "pah, you're lazy!" even if it's not meant that way. On the other hand, the other person is right - nobody is done any favors by being told they can wait around for something to come to them. Even if they have to do underpaid or volunteer work for something close to what they like, it's more than they're doing by doing nothing. It IS possible to do underpaid/free work to get career experience and keep it ongoing, while still doing shitty jobs for the rent that have nothing to do with what you like.

There's nothing wrong with pulling on your own bootstraps as long as you're not endlessly preaching that others can do it as fast or easily. But even pulling slowly gets you there eventually.

[insanenoodlyguy]

It works for the majority of the goddamn world. There's a little more then anecdotal personal evidence here.

[(Anonymous)]

The OP doesn't mention any such "conditions". No serious mental or physical health problems, no economic or educational problems. The OP just said they were afraid to leave the house. That is a situation that can likely be remedied. Stop projecting your own issues on a secret that is saying something totally different.

[akashasheiress]

Being afraid to leave the house certainly sounds like a condition. And what to do you know about my ''personal issues''?

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh, really. The people encouraging the OP are fine, but most of the comments in this thread are reminding me of what my conservative parents would say.

[(Anonymous)]

That's because your parents have been around long enough to know when people are just being lazy. I'm about as far from conservative as humanly possible, but OP doesn't need pity. OP needs a spine. And a job.

[akashasheiress]

You don't know OP, so there's is no way in hell you can know that.

[(Anonymous)]

And there's no way you can know that OP is one of the relatively few people who are, at 24, incapable of working. But I'm a lot more likely to be right.

[(Anonymous)]

Do you realize that you have a very middle/upper class right-wing view of poverty and work, btw?
My parents also believe that the reason there is homelessness is because homeless people are 'lazy' and would rather rely on handouts than find work. I'm sorry, but you have to be ridiculously sheltered to believe that all it takes is a 'spine' to find employment, and if you don't have a job it all comes down to laziness. They also dislike welfare because they think it only encourages people to be lazy and reliant on handouts.
Mental and physical impedements, family and other life situations, environmental factors, etc, all play a huge role in hindering people from finding work. Laziness is usually not the main factor, sorry to say.

[(Anonymous)]

Re: about the homelessness thing

My dad was homeless and he had a job. Laziness doesn't have much to do with homelessness in my experience

[(Anonymous)]

You're dead wrong. I have a very blue collar, working class outlook on young people who refuse to work. In what world does being a liberal or a democrat (two things I am) have to do with saying it's a-okay for people to choose not to work, and that we then should affirm their choice to not work? Not in the world of reality, that's for sure.

I think that welfare is an incredibly important thing, and I am FAR from sheltered. It seems to me that the worst offenders in the too-special-to-get-and-keep-a-job category are the SHELTERED children of the upper middle class. I'm from the working class. I did not graduate from college. I've been working full-time since I was 20. I live in just-a-bit-better-than-slum apartments. I struggle to pay my bills. I have mental and physical illnesses that I live with and work through.

Basically, stop saying that anybody who dares to suggest that OP and people like her are lazy are clearly some kind of perfect people who never had to try hard for anything. You couldn't possibly be more wrong.

[thene]

Seriously - there are literally NOT ENOUGH JOBS FOR EVERYONE TO BE EMPLOYED so even if all unemployed people really truly tried as hard as possible to find work, it's just not going to happen for a lot of people, and if you've been dealing with that for a long time you can get very anxious and unconfident about the entire clusterfuck. And we don't know where OP lives; there are plenty of places where youth unemployment is north of 20%. So can we have some solidarity up in here?

[(Anonymous)]

Cry moar, kids. Even 20% unemployment means that the overwhelming majority are employed so if you're unemployed for a long time it means you're in the suckiest 20%. True facts.

[thene]

lol u, anon.

I love this picture:

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, okay. Let me just say that this is not true. I beat out close to 200 people for my job because it was an extension of my internship and I knew the people there. You can bet your ass that many of those people would be much better at my work than me, and yet? Connections mean significantly more than whether you are just part of the "sucky" 20%.

[(Anonymous)]

Do you even understand how statistics works? That makes absolutely no sense.

[emma_moon]

Where I live you compete with thousands of people for a handful of jobs. People who have degrees, those that don't have degrees but tons of experience, will not get jobs due to the high amount of competition for that position. It has nothing to do with "cry moar". It's the reality that only five jobs are available and you have 1,000 to 2,000 people fighting to get those jobs.

I was unemployed for over two years after being laid off from my job. I applied everywhere and was told "you're too qualified", "you're under-qualified", "you need more experience", or "you have too much experience". No one is sitting here telling the OP not to get a job but that doesn't mean what the OP is feeling isn't real and that he/she will need to get help.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah. This is pretty much what happens every time this kind of secret pops up.