[ SECRET POST #2185 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2185 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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15.
[not a repeat; was broken yesterday]


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[not a repeat; was broken yesterday]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 034 secrets from Secret Submission Post #312.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. http://oi46.tinypic.com/34fxqnr.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

Your headcanon is moronic. His beard is short because he's the youngest member of the group.

[(Anonymous)]

I read somewhere that, in the movie, Ori is actually supposed to be the youngest. He's got more of a beard than Kili.

[(Anonymous)]

His beard in the movie is short because they think he looks hotter that way. He is the Legolas equivalent just as Richard Armitage is the Aragorn equivalent.

[(Anonymous)]

The real answer is it was shit visual work and/or bad decision and proof of this movies failure.

[(Anonymous)]

Troll more, cutie patootie.

[kallanda_lee]

I just put it down to him being young. That's really just the most logical explanation to me.

[(Anonymous)]

He's the youngest. For people bitching about the 'hot' dwarves, and that being the reason, I'll point out that both brothers are hot, as is Thorin, and Bofur is none too bad looking.

We know so little about dwarves in Tolkien mythology that I'm not against them creating a reason for him not to have a beard. Especially because Tolkien otherwise treated the races as cultures, rather than just mystical beings who exist to do funny/magical things to the humans around, as in fairy tales. If the dwarves really ARE a culture, I can think of any number of reasons a young dwarf would not have a beard.

[iceyred]

I'm just going to sit here and think about how hot Aidan Turner is, just to tick off all the people who are angry about how dwarves.

Your headcanon is okay, I guess.

[(Anonymous)]

Whatever the reason, give me more. He was hot as hell. So were Fili, Thorin, and Action Armor Elrond, actually. I appreciate Peter Jackson's awareness of, and shameless pandering to, his female fanbase. (Oh, Kili's going to make out with Evangeline Lily later? I subscribe to this, Mr. Director, please take my money. All of it.)

These movies are awesome and the only time I ever found Viggo Mortenson attractive. Unf and rawr and so forth.

/shallow objectification of the dwarven race omg

[iceyred]

Finally, someone with sense! I had almost given up on this fandom. Ain't nuthin' wrong with a little shallow objectification.

[(Anonymous)]

These movies are awesome and the only time I ever found Viggo Mortenson attractive

Same here. I was shocked at how much different he looked as Aragorn.

[elaminator]

Yessssssssss, why can't we all just get along objectify dwarves? Is that too much to ask? D:

[wldcatsprstr_14]

This.

Gimme all them sexy Dwarves. The Elves are pretty but I love me a rugged type. Thorin Oakenshield? YES PLEASE. UNF.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, thank you, this.

Also hot elf king. I don't even care if he's riding a moose. Bring on more of that.

[velvet_mace]

Kili is a scrawny Dwarf "teen" with the pathetic beard hair to match his utter lack of dwarvish seniority.

[visp]

Embrace the fanservice, OP!

[math_camel]

Yeah guys, he's not that young, or even that much younger than his brother. Probably in his mid 70's. And some of the lady dwarfs had better beards than him in the opening scenes (they were there for seconds only, but my eyes just snapped right to them) so I doubt that's it.

I figured he lost it in an accident involving fire. Like, he was trying to work a forge but proved so useless at it he lit his beard and clothes on fire and had to cut the whole mess off and start over.

I like your head cannon too though. What if Thorin's sister got busy with a short human she mistook for a dwarf after a night of quaffing? OH THE SHAME! OH THE ANGST!

Thank's OP, now I'll take Fic That'll Never Be Written for *800*.

[rbhudson]

XD

[mutantjules.livejournal.com]

HEE

I like your level of overanalysis, OP! I theorize to the point of ridicule when it comes to my fandoms, but I can honestly say I've never gotten into the genetics before. I salute you!

(me, I say it makes sense because he's the youngest. Can't remember exactly how young, somewhere between 70 and 80 I think, but for a dwarf that's like being 18 or 19 for us. Sure, they're old ENOUGH at that point to have a beard, but it's visual shorthand. A way of saying directly to the audience without even saying a word, when he's the one guy in the group without a beard, that "this guy is just barely an adult.")

[(Anonymous)]

dude, if it is inherited from his father specifically, then all brothers will have the mutation....

[fingalsanteater]

I think he's distractingly gorgeous, so whatever.

[(Anonymous)]

Uh. I just assume he keeps his beard short to be rebellious.

[(Anonymous)]

This secret completely made my day. At least then there would be a REASON for his disgraceful lack of beard. :)

Kili's a woman

[thaurfea]

My headcanon. Dwarf women have beards too, but often not as thick. There were even a few bearded dwarf women in the shots of Dale/Erebor at the beginning of the movie. "He" is certainly pretty enough to be a woman.