[ SECRET POST #2188 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2188 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________



13.


__________________________________________________



14.


__________________________________________________



15.


__________________________________________________













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 102 secrets from Secret Submission Post #313.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

05. http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/4517/twilightgreysecret.jpg

[visp]

1. It's not fair to judge someone just because they don't spend enough time in fandom to know about such things.

2. Funny, I'd have gone the other way around, and said you can definitely know they have crap taste in books, but everything else is a bit too out-there for you to deduce. I suppose that's why it's a secret.

[(Anonymous)]

+1.

I especially don't get why not knowing the story behind the books means someone has issues.

[(Anonymous)]

YOUR JUST JEALOUS YOU DON'T HAVE A MR. GREY TO BREAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AND WATCH YOU AS YOU SLEEP.

And Edward was only looking out for me when he asked me to sign the contract for the vampire bite. He cared so much he ignored the fact I didn't actually sign it.

[oroburos69]

You know, those books ARE romantic. They're romance novels. You can whine about how you don't find them romantic all day long, but that doesn't mean that they aren't 100% standard romance.

[(Anonymous)]

I think you're probably making a bigger deal out of it than you need to.

What someone finds romantic in fiction can be a hell of a lot different than what they find romantic in real life.

How many people find Romeo and Juliette dying because they can't live without each other super romantic? I would slap their dumb asses in real life if someone actually though of killing themselves for that reason.

[(Anonymous)]

I still say every copy of those books should come with a RAINN pamphlet.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree (except about the not knowing how they are connected).

However, I have a friend who was crazy about the Twilight novels because of their "romance". When I asked her what she thought was romantic about them, she told me that she thought it was "just so wonderful when a man wanted her so much he'd do everything to be with her".

A lot of women don't really see the relationships in Twilight as being abusive or some other kind of unhealthy because stalkerish and obsessive behaviour gets romanticed as fuck when in context of a romantic relationship.

I'm sure women like my friend wouldn't really want a guy to suddenly stand in their bedroom at night, but they want to feel loved and they get taught that their partners becoming aggressive, jealous or stalkerish is just an expression of the "love" they feel for them.

[ellie_oops]

I don't know if I agree with "serious pathological relationship issues," it is kind of harsh.

Otherwise, I agree, that these books paint an unrealistic and oft times dysfunctional view of what "romance" is.

[(Anonymous)]

So am I the only one who judges secrets that hyphenate instead of just dropping the word down to the next line?

[silverau]

Why do you specifically assume that about females? I'd be less concerned by a female saying she wished she could "have an Edward", than a male saying he wished he could BE an Edward.

But either way, that's way too harsh to assume. Yes, the books (at least Twilight, I've never read 50 Shades so I'm not really in a position to talk about it) portray an abusive relationship as romantic and that's way not cool... but assuming that EVERY SINGLY PERSON who likes it has pathological issues is just stupid. Maybe they're just naive. Maybe they don't like analyzing romance novels and take it at face value. Maybe they do like it for its darkness but aren't used to discussing literature that way (since it's mostly just fandom where people openly talk about liking screwed-up relationships) and don't have the words for it, so they mimic what other fans say.

[(Anonymous)]

eh. IMO the backlash against these books is just as ridiculous and overblown as the initial hype.

I'm all with ridiculing a book that's marketed as hot, scandalously naughty and liberating to women but refuses to spell out vagina.

However, I find it quite insulting to tell people that their fantasies of passiveness/loss of control and responsibility are harmful to them and society, a disgrace to womanhood, and that it's ok to shame or make fun of them for it.

I can’t really blame people for secretly wishing to be swept off of their feet on occasion, be they teenagers or any group of people under a lot of pressure.

It's escapist fantasy. They fantasize about their boyfriend taking all the difficult decisions for them. It does not mean they wouldn't realize in real life how that might be a shitty idea!

[(Anonymous)]

If you post secrets in which you psychoanalyze people based on their literary taste, I'll judge you to be a total twit, and twat.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like maybe you haven’t read that many romance novels. Controlling men who often act like complete dicks are legion. It’s a thing, some people like the fantasy of it, like the thought of not having to be in control, like the thought of being obsessively wanted or loved. It doesn’t mean they necessarily want the reality of it. I think a lot of the Disney fairy tales are romantic, but I would never want to actually be any one of those princesses. I like regency romances, but there’s no way I would want live with those attitudes or strictures.

I’m curious, do you feel the same way about Buffy the Vampire Slayer? There were a lot of messed up vampire/human (and other/human, vampire/other, vampire/vampire, and other/other) relationships in that. What about The Vampire Diaries?

[stainless]

I've said before that this bothers me, and it's a waste of breath to say it again, but... this bothers me.

Like... take a listen to this song here, for a minute:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXuy_5xpNNI

(Linking the version with the lyrics, so it's totally clear.)

Why is there no uproar about this song? Why don't I find rants about Jeffree Star fans being unhealthy if they enjoy that song?

Part of it may be that Jeffree's stuff is openly dark, so it's clearer it's not all supposed to be OOOOOO YAY OOOO... but at the same time, that song does seem to me to be intended to be sexy.

And from the little I've read of both Twilight and 50S, the characters who do these things do describe themselves as having problems, as "50 shades of fucked up, etc."

So is one okay and the other not? And if so, why?

Could be people have a damn good reason, but... it's always seemed to me to be that 50S and Twilight hatedom is a thing. A trend.

Maybe I'm just cynical, but I tend to think that for most people, the Concern About Women Fans is social-justice icing on yummy hatedom cake, not the other way around.

[(Anonymous)]

Hmm, do you flee in panic every time you meet a Tarantino enthusiast, because by this line of reasoning you should automatically assume that they're into a bit of the old casual assasination and ultraviolence at the weekends.... and let's not even get started on WoW players and first person shooter fans.

[(Anonymous)]

To all the people saying "it's just romance"... you do realize that there's romance out there that doesn't involve creepy ass relationships or, if it does, it portrays said relationships as creepy and doesn't romanticize the creepy elements and behavior. It's fine if people enjoy the books, but I'm with OP - if they don't seem to realize that the relationships being romanticized are fucked up and not something you want irl, then they likely have issues.

Twilight and 50 Shades also may be romance, but they're not good romance.

[(Anonymous)]

They could also just be naive. They're just reading the book seeing it from Bella's point of view who's head over heels for Edward and can do no wrong in her eyes. They're not actually thinking through the implications from anyone else's point of view. (Like the fact that Edward can't know what Bella's thinking and has no way of knowing if the creeping is alright.) Especially the younger girls reading this.

I've got nothing for the grown women who read 50 shades, other than it's probably just a kink to them and they're not applying the 'romance' to the real world.

[seiberwing]

"I won't judge you...but I'm totally judging you."

[pelespen]

I hate all those books with a seething passion. At the same time, is it really worth the energy of even judging someone over them, much less making a secret about it?

Mostly, though, the slightly skewed text on the bottom half of this secret made me feel all wonky.

[insanenoodlyguy]

Yeah no, I just judge their taste in literature.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't assume that, but I do worry about people who like those books. I worry they'll get involved with someone abusive and not spot the warning signs before they get hurt or become convinced that they can't leave the guy/girl because "this is what love is supposed to be like."
*shudders*

[(Anonymous)]

Not saying this is true of everyone, but I do feel that it is true in my experiences.

My mother has not read Twilight, but--having no clue about the connection--has read 50 Shades, and at one point was trying to sell it to me by saying something along the lines of "it's sweet...he changes for her" and some other things--that is just what I remember most vividly. And all I could think was--while that may be true, as I haven't yet read them, I couldn't say--the fact that that aspect is what she focused on says a lot.

(And, IMO, she does have some relationship issues that may be coloring her view on the series.)

[(Anonymous)]

i wouldn't say this is true for everyone, but a lot of the people i know who do think those are super romantic are people whose relationships i tend to find troubling or even down right fucked up

[(Anonymous)]

Oh dear...perhaps I need to look into counseling for my mother. (And yes, she gets the bonus points.) Not sure if she actually finds them romantic, though, or just 'hot', and frankly I'm not asking because I don't *want* to know.