[ SECRET POST #2197 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2197 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 048 secrets from Secret Submission Post #314.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Damn, how ungrateful. What's with the ungrateful attitude regarding gifts on this comm? Someone took the time to pick out something they probably thought you'd like and you feel like you should've gotten a "real present." Just be happy you got anything at all, even if it was a book you didn't like.

You sound young and entitled. Grow the fuck up.

[(Anonymous)]

They're not throwing it back in the person's face, and you don't know anything about their relationship with the person who gave it to them.

Obv we don't know the situation here, but from experience I can tell you that when someone who knows you well and actively disapproves of your taste, likes, and interests takes every occasion to show you the things they wish you were reading/wearing, it gets kind of old...

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, this... I mean, it's nice that they got you something, but it feels passive-aggressive when instead of giving you stuff that you like, they give you stuff that they want you to like. It feels like they're telling you "your interests are stupid, here, try mine, they're better." Gift or not, it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

[(Anonymous)]

Oi, this. It's one thing if they're constantly recommending things they like (which, granted, is still really fucking annoying), but gift-giving occasions should generally be more about the person getting the gift, rather that the person who's giving it. Save interest-pushing for another time, geeze.

[(Anonymous)]

I can tell you that when someone who knows you well and actively disapproves of your taste, likes, and interests takes every occasion to show you the things they wish you were reading/wearing, it gets kind of old...

who's making assumptions now?

[childings.livejournal.com]

Fandom is filled with middle-class Millennials with a ridiculous collective sense of entitlement, with the inability to empathize with anyone outside of their chosen peer group -- what do you expect?

I don't even get gifts 99% of the time because my family is fucking poor and some of my family don't even acknowledge that I exist, I'm happy to get anything even if it's something I don't like (I don't get rid of gifts most of the time either, unless someone else indicates that they want it, I'm literally unable to toss out something that was given to me)

[(Anonymous)]

I actually see it as more entitled to expect people to be grateful because IT WAS A GIFT! even if it was a thoughtless gift, or showed no interest or understanding of what that person actually wants.

My family is pretty poor, my friends are generally poor. I would rather they save their money or give me food than give me something I actually hate. idk, I don't think people are any more entitled to gratitude than they are to gifts in the first place.

[childings.livejournal.com]

Ok, I realize this is a secret so maybe OP didn't actually whine in RL about how much they hated this book, but IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS OK maybe the giver of this gift sincerely thought that OP would enjoy this book, they just fucked up, obviously. I can tell you that sometimes it can be hard to figure out what a person likes or doesn't like even if you ask them straight out (especially since sometimes they fail to TELL YOU what they even like, I know my nerdy youngest sister is like this, Christ) and shopping for gifts can be a really stressful experience because of this. IDK I just feel a general lack of any empathy from OP on the part of the gift giver here. If I knew someone felt that way about something I gave them I would never give them anything ever again

[(Anonymous)]

Tbh if I don't have a good handle of what would really please someone I just don't give them a gift. It's better than something that was obviously not bought in a moment of "Ohh, I thought you'd love this" and more in a moment of "Oh shit, I owe him or her a present, which really makes this not a present but an awkward social obligation, oops".

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, this. In my case, being poor means that I hate waste. If someone gives me a gift I hate, then both the giver's money spent buying the gift and my opportunity to receive an enjoyable or useful gift are wasted. It depresses me.

[(Anonymous)]

You're bitterness is starting to show - and that's not something that just effects 'middle-class millennials'.

[childings.livejournal.com]

I don't fucking care

[(Anonymous)]

Ah, that must be that wonderful ability to empathize you were talking about!

[(Anonymous)]

Looks like childings fell for the bait.

[childings.livejournal.com]

What makes you think this is a troll? We had a thread in general comments along these lines a few weeks ago, talking about Christmas/holiday presents and such and there was a ton of whining in the thread along the lines of OP's secret. I hear shit like this from co-workers all the time (most of whom are like 23-25 years old)

[(Anonymous)]

Doesn't she always?

[(Anonymous)]

I'd rather not see this kind of collective derision towards one person in F!S. We all have issues to deal with, and sometimes it comes out in a rant. But the response she's been getting seems increasingly petty.

[(Anonymous)]

You act like they were given a fucking iPad or something.
Guess what, I was given a Bible for my birthday a few days ago even though the person who gave it to me knew damn well I was an atheist.
I didn't accept it and later on made a secret about it and osted it to an internet community.

I took the fucking thing and gave it right back to my aunt with the words: "Thankyou, but I'm STILL not interested in joining your religion. Please give it to another Christian".

You don't need to love (or even keep) something just because you got it for free.

[childings.livejournal.com]

Being given a Bible is nothing like being given a novel, what

[(Anonymous)]

The Bible is a novel. Whether you subscribe to the religions and belief systems that use it as a guide doesn't change the fact that it is written word worth being familiar with.

That's the problem with atheists and Christians alike. You keep yourselves purposely ignorant to avoid uncomfortable truths.

[deenaa]

Basically this. Acting like the OP should love the book because it might hurt the gift giver's feelings is ludicrous. If I had given someone a book they didn't end up liking, I would want to know so that I know not to give them anything else from that author, or something like that.

[(Anonymous)]

People are allowed to not like their gifts.

It happens. In fact, I got the ugliest purse I have ever seen in my life from someone I love very very much. I smiled and said thank you and me and my mum had a giggle about it later. This woman has terrible, terrible taste and always gets people terrible, terrible gifts. We love her and would never tell her, but it's reached ridiculousness now.

[(Anonymous)]

You MUST be friends with my grandmother. This EXACT SAME THING happened to me, oh my god. And she has told me multiple times to tell her if I don't like something (so she won't think I like it and waste her money getting me more of the same), so I thanked her and commented as politely as I could that it wasn't my usual style, and she goes "BUT IT'S SO INTERESTING!"

Sigh. Oh grandma, I do love you.

[(Anonymous)]

That's right. You have to like every gift you get, and you're not allowed to hold any negative opinions about disappointing presents because that would be like, human or something. You should totally grow out of having private opinions after age 13.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not young and entitled anymore, and I'd be pretty upset if someone GAVE me a book for Christmas instead of a gift card and a "Hey, I think you'd like this book, here's some cash to buy it if you want, but you don't have to buy it if you don't think you'd like it!"