[ SECRET POST #2308 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2308 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 085 secrets from Secret Submission Post #330.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

15. http://i.imgur.com/AIquVMp.png?1

[(Anonymous)]

This might sound mean but I really mean this. I am truly sorry that you care too much about what people think of you. Cosplaying and the cosplaying and con community is my HOME and I feel so badly for anybody who enjoys fandom and doesn't have that. I have never felt more accepted and among people I truly enjoy than when I started cosplaying. So this secret makes me really sad.

[(Anonymous)]

Condescending, actually, no better than OP. Like, how can any one not in cosplay have as much fun and be accepted as much as me?

Cosplay isn't necessary for social acceptance and not everyone is in it.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm pretty sure you can feel accepted and part of a community without cosplaying.

They're not telling you to stop, just that it personally makes them feel uncomfortable. Don't take it personally.

[(Anonymous)]

I think you are both misreading the secret and taking it too personally.

Also, people can find belonging and "home" when in fandom without cosplay. What are you even on about.

[(Anonymous)]

You know that you can feel part of a fandom community not just through cosplay, right? I don't need your pity.

[with-rainfall.livejournal.com]

Here's a hint, anon: I don't, never have and never will cosplay, but I don't feel at all like I'm missing out. Some people don't want to cosplay, don't have time or (shock!) can't afford to buy materials and/or travel round the country for cons/meetups. What's more, there are fandoms tiny enough that cosplaying would be extraordinarily difficult.

I myself don't want to waste time and effort making a costume, for starters. So by all means harp on about how cosplaying is SOOO AMAZING ZOMG but don't expect people to agree.

[(Anonymous)]

That's nice.

I don't cosplay b/c I don't feel comfortable doing so and I probably never will; but that doesn't mean I don't have a community around me or that I'm missing out.

So your pity is wasted.

[bored_bitch]

I personally feel bad for people who need to find their acceptance and their "place in society" among fandom, and fandom only.
Like, you can't interact with someone in a normal setting about something other than fandom? You need that to link you together?
Nothx.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I... don't care what people think of me? Only in the sense that I know some people might feel defensive about - that's why this is a secret. I don't want to offend, and I think cosplay is a cool idea. And I'm not part of the cosplaying community because I have no inclination to be (nor the time and the money), so there's not really any reason for you to feel sorry for me. I'm glad you like cosplaying and that it gives you something positive in your life. When I say I don't like to look at pics of it, it has nothing to do with you or anyone else who cosplays, or with judging what you do, or anything like that. In fact, rock on. I hope you cosplay to your heart's content, I'm just gonna continue feeling awkward when I come across pics.

[(Anonymous)]

This almost sounds like me!
Only that I only feel seond-hand embarrassment when I see the cosplayers moving (for example in videos) and live it's even worse.
Sometimes it goes so far that I start to blush and feel a bit of a panic they might come over to me and interact with me.

I don't have this problem when the people are not in character. I can admire their effort and the beautiful costumes, ideas, what have you. I don't think cosplay is more "embarrassing" than dressing up for carneval or halloween, but whenever I see someone acting like a character I know from a comic/show/etc. I just start feeling super uneasy.

I can't go to cons because of that. As soon as they come to close I just get so awkward, start to blush, start to sweat and I start looking for the next best way to run off.

I hope no cosplayer takes this personally now. I have no clue myself why I react like that, beause like OP I enjoy dressing up for Halloween or medieval fairs.

[silverau]

I don't know that many people who act in-character for most of cons or interact with random strangers in-character...

[(Anonymous)]

I hate being... put on the spot? I guess you could say? So I am like this, too. Like I love costuming because I make my own clothes, and I think it's amazing to see the work other people can do - turning something that is just ink or pixels into a real, functioning garment is amazing, and I admire anyone with that kind of skill or that kind of showmanship to wear someone else's work. But I don't want to talk to them if they are being 'in character'. This includes face characters at Disney and things like that, and the Rennies at our Faire. I just hate having to interact with 'fictional' characters... it makes me feel like I'm in Drama 101 sucking at improve again. I'm not clever like that and I get anxious and nervous and panicked. It works in reverse, too. The one time I did cosplay, I picked the worst series imaginable and was thoroughly triggered* by the amount of people pawing at me and yelling at me.

*in the actual, panic-attack resulting from childhood abuse sense

[(Anonymous)]

Cosplay only gives me secondhand embarrassment when it's a TERRIBLE costume from a really good seamstress.

That being said, I know about half the people in the pictures.

[caecilia]

You mean you know them personally, or you're familiar with their work?

[visp]

*shrug* Playing dress up is fun. People like to do fun things.

[(Anonymous)]

Good thing I don't cosplay for your benefit, then.

[(Anonymous)]

I will never understand cosplay and don't participate in it, but I enjoy seeing people do it, especially if they do a good job. Perhaps its the "out of what society considers the norm for an adult" aspect of it that you find embarrassing? In other words, these days, dressing up for Halloween is something that a lot of adults do and it is--for the most part--an acceptable thing [I mean, just look at all the Halloween stores filled with adult costumes that sprout up everywhere mid-August], but cosplay has an element to it that's sort of side-eyed as being nerdy or dorky, or childish, and perhaps it's that element that bothers you.

[forgottenjester]

You know, weird things make people get second-hand embarrassment. I can't watch a lot of interviews because they make me feel so embarrassed. I don't even know why. I've been working on it though and am able to watch some now but not others. Also, I have to scroll quickly past photo shoots of individual actors if I come across them. Again, I don't know why but it makes me very embarrassed.

But does it mean I think photo shoots of actors and interviews are bad in any way? No. Of course not. So I know where you're coming from OP.

I hope you can maybe find a way to lessen your embarrassment like I did with interviews but if you can't that's okay. I can understand why you would make this a secret though, if the first comment to you secret is any indication. People will take it as an attack on their hobby. So yeah, good luck with your situation.

[(Anonymous)]

You know, I used to be exactly the same, until I was invited by a friend to start cosplaying with her and I had to take a good look at why I felt that way. Mostly I think it was residual "nerd guilt" as someone upthread put it, and the idea that nerdiness was being put on display for all to see. And I think the secondhand embarrassment mostly came from knowing that cosplayers get mocked by people they don't even know on the internet, and I felt bad for them? But I've started cosplaying since (initially costumes that could "pass" on the street for normal, then more obviously costume-y ones) and mostly made peace with the weird guilt I had about it. I hope you can too, even if you don't start cosplaying!

[unicornherds]

Second hand embarrassment is so random sometimes. Some of the things that make me cringe just make no logical sense. It just is.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm the same way, OP. Especially when the character being cosplayed has a really dumb costume originally. *dodges tomatoes*

I like to keep my fannish things slightly under wraps. That's just my preference, I guess. Other people being open about their fandom makes me feel vulnerable, although I often wish it wasn't like that. :x

[(Anonymous)]

As someone who cosplayed for the very first time recently, I can understand where the OP is coming from and used to think like they did. At the same time, when I went in costume I found it really empowering, I have Aspergers and find it really intimidating when it comes to being in huge crowds like a con (I went to PAX East, for those who are curious), but being in costume helped me come out of my shell. I didn't have any panic attacks, I talked to a lot of people I wouldn't have otherwise and gave me a boost of self confidence. It's not like I'm going to dress up like a game character everyday, but I can definitely understand why some might find it fun now too.

[(Anonymous)]

I only get that way when I see someone in a place where cosplay is clearly not the appropriate dress for the situation. Like seeing a pack of Homestucks with horns and everything in a crowded Cheesecake factory. No one seemed to know how to react.

[(Anonymous)]

I get secondhand embarrassment if it's BAD cosplay--either poorly-made or deliberately inaccurate costumes, or costumes wildly inappropriate to the wearer's body type. If you're above the age of 12 and you're gonna go to the trouble of dressing up as a favorite character in public, for God's sake make an effort to actually look something like said character.