[ SECRET POST #2328 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2328 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 098 secrets from Secret Submission Post #333.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Mostly unrelated, but what is it with fandom and the word "ladies"? It's certainly better than "females" but it's starting to sound patronizingly twee to me.

[(Anonymous)]

That's not a fandom thing, that's a broader cultural thing. And I think the reason behind is because it's a word that you can use for women as a group that sounds classy while at the same time not being overly serious - it's not formal but it still carries an image of fashion and style and that sort of thing. I mean, you know, a retro cocktails kind of image, if you know what I mean.

[(Anonymous)]

I hate hate hate the term ladies used unironically, especially coming from men, it's widely used as a douchebag detector. OP, assuming you're a dude, just don't.

[(Anonymous)]

Talking about "ALL THE LADIES" and "STRONG LADIES" and whatnot is a fandom thing. The word in real life, I find, is most frequently used to refer to "the ladies", as in "impressing the ladies" or whatever, which I'm hoping most people don't unironically say. In fandom it's often way more awkward than just saying "women" would be and it mystifies me.

ALL THE LADIES IN THE WORLD

[(Anonymous)]

youtu.be/hFjrbmj0CUc

2c

[(Anonymous)]

I prefer being casually addressed as a "lady" than as a "woman". I guess in the end it's that "woman" sounds drier. But I'll use both "ladies" and "women" in posts and neither sounds wrong to me that way.

[(Anonymous)]

because 'females' is dehumanising, 'girls' is belittling and 'women' sounds impersonal and like I'm not including myself. so I say 'ladies' because it, to me, conveys the respect I feel for other women without belittling them or making them sound like objects.

it's coming from the same place culturally that makes me say 'sir' and 'ma'am'. plus I just like the asethetic of the word. laydees. I think it's pretty

[(Anonymous)]

"Ladies" sounds more impersonal to me. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

[(Anonymous)]

what would sound less impersonal to you? not trying to be combative or anything - just curious?

I remember reading somewhere about the cultural differences between use of the word 'lady' in american vs uk where it pointed out that in the uk, we have ladies as a title of peerage so it's seen as something denoting respect but in america it's more like 'hey lady' like they're picturing a 30s street ruffian with a brooklyn accent or something and it connotes as rude.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm with you on all that. Granted I don't like the singular "lady." That, to me, sounds impersonal and somewhat rude. But I suppose I should factor in context when people say it.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

Oh, I actually use "lady" as a kind of term of endearment to my female friends... I frequently say things like "Hey lady!" mixed in with "hi darling," or "hey love." I guess it does just depend on context!

[(Anonymous)]

Same, if I'm going to refer to fellow women as a group I tend to go for 'ladies'. 'Females' is way out for obvious reasons, unless I'm writing a scientific report on human behaviour, 'girls' is only going to happen if they're all under 18 and 'women' just sounds so distant, it's what I hear people using when they want to be insulting "women only want assholes, women only want money, why are there so many women in this workplace".

So ladies it is.

Also it makes me think of everyone in rocking dresses drinking cocktails and chatting about their day as friends.

[lyndis]

IME a lot of young women will call a group of women friends/acquaintances "ladies" (like, "Hey ladies! How's it going?") but that might be a midwest thing.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

My experience as well. I frequently call my friends ladies, and often use it in the singular as well ("Hey lady! What's new?"). I live in Chicago, but I'm from the East coast and use it for friends from everywhere. Lots of my friends use it too, but I suppose I may have infected them.

[queerwolf]

Should someone tell Beyonce?

[cloud_riven]

I don't know. I find that I tend to read "women" most of the time in Walter White's Heisenberg voice in my head. Or Richard Nixon impersonation voices.

Ladies diminishes that distraction.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's like 'guys' to refer to men? Instead of 'all the other men', you go 'all the other guys'. So for women, instead of 'all the other women' it's 'all the other ladies'. The other option is 'girls', which is slightly infantilising?

[(Anonymous)]

I feel weird because apparently a lot of people dislike "girls" but I've never had a problem with it? I always just saw it as being the feminine version of "guys." I'm not really a big fan of "women" because it just sounds old to me, like you're talking about older women or something. "Men" sounds old to me too, now that I think about it, because I'm so used to hearing "guys" instead.

I guess I don't really see why "girls" is supposed to be infantilizing or whatever while "guys" isn't.

[(Anonymous)]

See, that's funny, because to me, "girls" was always the feminine equivalent of "boys", not of "guys". I don't know. That's why I see it as a little infantilizing (I should say that I'm a guy and when people say "boys" as a collective noun I do find it a little annoying. That's pretty much why I don't really use "girls" a lot)

[silverau]

I usually say "lady" as a female equivalent to "guy", for women who are older than me. I kind of get how it sounds patronizing, though. I sometimes associate the word "ladies" with teachers talking to students since that's when I hear it most often, so I get why some people wouldn't like being addressed that way.

I'm not offended by "females", though. Where I'm from that's a pretty typical word to use to refer to girls and women... I guess it's just a dialect thing... if people are used to only hearing it when talking about animals, I guess that's why they don't like being called that.

[(Anonymous)]

By "where I'm from" do you mean another planet? I've never heard of a dialect where "females" was a standard word for human women.

[(Anonymous)]

ESL here and "female" sounds extremely childish to me.
It's partially the influence of my mother tongue: in my language, when we were in kindergarten, we used to say "games for males" and "games for females" and things like that.

[bur]

I use "lady" all the time, but I also use "gentleman" all the time too. "There's a gentleman on the phone who wants to speak with you." "A lady was just here asking for our prices on such and such".

I blame my mother.

[(Anonymous)]

I guess I can't argue with that!

[(Anonymous)]

I say 'fellow' often in the same context, which I don't hear many others doing.