[ SECRET POST #2328 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2328 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________



13.


__________________________________________________



14.


__________________________________________________



15.


__________________________________________________




















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 098 secrets from Secret Submission Post #333.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. http://i.imgur.com/JZw6Hmm.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

That's...really rather sad, OP. I wish you'd get help for your problem, I really do. :(

[(Anonymous)]

Have you tried looking for social anxiety group therapy meetings? I did one and it really helped me a lot. I still get really anxious, but I'm better able to manage my anxiety and not let it stop me from doing things I enjoy.

If you can't find a group (or can't afford private therapy) try reading a cognitive behavioral therapy text designed for people with social anxiety - that's the method that was used in my group meetings and it was supper helpful.

Also, consider a pet (fish count!) instead of a cardbord cut out of a real woman - way less creepy.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry, OP. :(

I have two suggestions. First, get help with the social anxiety, if you can. Second, try making connections with other people who have social awkwardness -- if they're going through the same worries and difficulties you are, they're probably going to be understanding of your awkwardness and stumbling. When you can say, "Sorry I'm awkward sometimes, I get anxious around other people," and the other person says, "Don't worry about it, I do too," it takes some of the pressure off you.

[insanenoodlyguy]

Get help. For the love of god get help.

You are crying for it for a very good reason.

[(Anonymous)]

Mostly unrelated, but what is it with fandom and the word "ladies"? It's certainly better than "females" but it's starting to sound patronizingly twee to me.

[omens]

Maybe instead of being girlfriendish, she can be life coachish? Instead of talking about your day you can report saying Hi to someone. Idk though. Advice from a hermit, ymmv.

[(Anonymous)]

That's... kind of creepy. Ngl.

Also, I don't know why you feel as if you absolutely need a relationship to validate your life. You don't.

[(Anonymous)]

Get a fucking dog

[(Anonymous)]

Why should a pretty girl be waiting for you when you get home? I'm sorry if you have social anxiety, but "to come home and have a pretty girl waiting for me" sounds kind of entitled and/or Nice Guy-ish.

[(Anonymous)]

You sound like a bit of a creep, if you ask me.

A cardboard cutout is an acceptable replacment for a woman? So all you want is a pretty object? I think that's really not right. I hope no woman ever lowers our gender by allowing you near them.

[sootyowl]

I don't think you've gone complete batshit as you recognize that you are talking to a card board cutout. Having said that, you should think about therapy or joining an anxiety group.

Your cardboard cutout won't help you get a girlfriend. In fact, it seems to hindering you, as you still haven't been able to get past your anxiety, and it's been a month (and in that time, you've grown more attached to a piece of cardboard). Try slowly saying hi to real females. Just the checkout clerk at your local supermarket at first.

It's time to let your cardboard go, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

Movie recommendation for the OP and anyone who might find this kinda weird:
Lars and the Real Girl, available on Netflix

It may seem strange, but stand-ins can be very important for people who don't have any social interaction, and it can be a vital first step to really interacting with people.

Get help if you can, OP. Otherwise, do your best with what you have. Try to remember that women are just people like you, and nobody is as confident as they seem. No matter how small the steps you take are, you are alive and making progress, and I respect you for that.

[(Anonymous)]

OP, I can't imagine how crippling your social anxiety must be, but I think the cardboard isn't a good idea.
Pretend-play often prooves to have positive effects when dealing with phobias, but only when used in a serious therapy and when deemed appropriate by the therapist.

I fear if you keep this up you might spiral even deeper into your anxiety (and possible objectification of women) because even though the standee looks like a girl, she will never be a girl. She will never talk back, show emotions and reactions. She will always just say what you want her to say and therefore not reflect what it's like to have a real relationship with a real human. She's just a fantasy existing in your head.

I don't know, but you might end up like those guys who order one of those dolls so they can have someone beautiful to cuddle and fuck but won't have to deal with them talking back, saying no or just having a bad day.

Seek help from a professional. If you can't afford it, call a hotline at least.

[(Anonymous)]

Well aren't you a Nice Guy.

[(Anonymous)]

http://www.doctornerdlove.com/

Dr. Nerdlove deals with a lot of things like this. In fact, I'm pretty sure someone wrote in with a similar situation.

[cloud_riven]

Not sure if I should feel glad this made me laugh, or sad because I wouldn't be surprised if you're honest.

[(Anonymous)]

all I can think of is that episode of Family Guy where Peter has an affair with a cardboard standee of Kathy Ireland and ends up having to bury her in the yard

[(Anonymous)]

at least you're not one of those bronies who has sex with a toy pony. have you considered getting some kind of medication for your anxiety? that helped me a few years back.

[(Anonymous)]

So anyway; screw half these morons who want to fixate on what might be nothing but a choice of words that was not meant to offend, but perhaps is more closely on the level of a selfobject...

Get help, OP. Please?

[silverr]

actually, I'll buck the trend I saw in some of the comments and say ... it's not that bad an idea.

For now, at this point in your development, this is like aversion therapy. Lets you practice having conversations with an attractive person without freezing up.

Here's hoping that it will give you the confidence to make the transition to a real person ( if that's what you want.)

[lynx]

Someone recommended Lars and the Real Girl already. The movie shows one main character who deals with his social anxiety issues in a way that's very similar to yours. It could be therapeutic to watch it.

Please seek a counselor. And make small steps. You've already recognized what the problem is. Start off interacting casually with living people (like greeting politely the cashier when you go to the store - it's a small but nice thing to do), work on forming bonds with a pet (no matter how small).

[silverau]

I don't think you're batshit; I don't blame you for coping with your loneliness. I don't have any advice for you for how to get better at forming actual connections with people, but I wish you the best.

[(Anonymous)]

Is therapy an option for you? Anxiety issues suck hardcore and are a pain to deal with all on your own. Having someone who has studied about the subject and has helped other people with it would help you work on that.

Don't give up, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

What do you want, OP?

If you want help - as this secret seems to indicate - then you will have to go out and get it. There are probably online forums devoted to problems such as social anxiety. There are also probably counselling help lines in your area, if you would prefer not to talk face-to-face. And, of course, you could simply go see a counsellor.

Eventually, you can work your way up to social interaction. Don't feel bad if you don't immediately become an amazing conversationalist - it's a skill, and all skills take time and practice.

Others have mentioned that getting a pet may be beneficial. A dog or cat will at least respond to you more than a cardboard cutout, and having something to care for can make people feel happy and needed.