[ SECRET POST #2328 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2328 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 098 secrets from Secret Submission Post #333.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

I overheard this girl at school telling this guy that she thought I was really ugly and now I'm depressed as fuck about it. Thing is, I always thought I was rather pretty. Not beautiful or anything, and kind of chubby, but not *ugly*.

I know I should be thinking something along the lines of "fuck 'em", but this has been really niggling at me, and now I can't even look at myself in the mirror without picking apart my appearance.

Ugh, I hate being so self-conscious.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[dethtoll]

High school, right? Don't let it get to you. She'll probably be bagging groceries some day.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

SA.

You'd think! I'm in college, actually.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[dethtoll]

Well college is basically high school with beer.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[cloud_riven]

Misread beer as bees here jsyk.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

FEEL THE CRACK OF HER BONES ON HER FEET. HONOR SHALL BE RESTORED

Also, consider the fact that bitches attack other bitches sometimes when they are threatened by them as opposed to honestly thinking you unattractive.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

Society sets up this really toxic competitiveness between women for the attention and approval of men. Her shit-talking your appearance to some guy probably has more to do with that than it has to do with your actual appearance.

Still, it sucks to hear something like that and I'm sorry that happened to you.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

One person thought you were ugly. That doesn't mean it's so, or even that most people would think it's so.

I mean, I know that's not exactly going to help, because no matter what anyone says, you're still going to think about this and obsess about it for a while at least. I know that's the way I am, anyway. But still, I mean, just keep in mind, one person saying this or thinking it doesn't mean it's a fact. You look how you like and if you like it, that's good.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[dreemyweird]

This is going to be an unpopular opinion, but I don't get why everyone in this thread is calling the girl a bitch and bringing up the societal issues.
...Is it bad to consider someone physically ugly? Is it bad to tell someone else about this?
Sure, I would agree if the girl told this directly to the OP, but it seems that she didn't intend for them to overhear the conversation.

It does suck to hear such a thing, don't get me wrong.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

Shit-talking behind someone's back is generally considered a pretty classless thing to do.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[dreemyweird]

Yeah, I understand that, but I wouldn't classify saying that somebody is ugly as "shit-talking"? Unless it is being said in a generally unflattering context.

And... I just... don't know. On the one hand, yes, "shit-talking" is a bad thing. On the other hand, under certain circumstances it is regarded as something perfectly normal. Say, people on f!s sometimes rant about how they hate somebody (their mother, their flatmate, their classmate et c.), and others seem to be sympathetic about it.

I'm a bit clueless.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

OP here.

We were in organic chem and they sit a little ways across from me. I didn't overhear the entire conversation, but I honed in on them when I heard my name being mentioned. What I did hear was:

Guy: *whispers something I couldn't hear*
Girl: Oh, Areilla (not a common name, either)? Not at all. I think she's really ugly, actually.


When I turned around she was looking right at me-- until the guy nudged her and she started whispering to him again.


I'm all for acknowledging that people have different tastes in what they consider nice looking, but I think it's terrible that she said such a thing when I was within hearing distance. Frankly, they shouldn't have been talking about me at all.

I personally would never call someone ugly like that. I'd say I didn't find someone attractive, sure, but I'd never say anyone was "ugly". Especially someone I knew IRL. ESPECIALLY if they were anywhere nearby.

It's just a horrible thing to do.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

I honestly can't think of a context in which calling someone ugly would be anything other than "unflattering." It's saying that they are objectively and inherently undesirable -- to say nothing of the fact that we live in a society that links moral worth and inherent value to physical attractiveness, especially for women. That's a completely different issue than saying you hate someone because of their behavior toward you.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, maybe it's just me, but I don't know what people get out of saying something or someone is ugly. I find it hard to believe the statement was unprovoked, by competitiveness or something else, because just announcing that you find someone ugly otherwise means you're a) a massive dickhead, b) on the internet, or c) both.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

What do people get out of criticizing other people in general? Calling them stupid/assholes/talentless/etc? Most of the time it's just letting out steam, because the person in question annoys them somehow. Or sometimes they are just pissed off about something else and find a different target for their rant.

Yeah, it's not pleasant to hear opinions like that, but it's not something that should be taken seriously.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[dreemyweird]

Well, no. I have a lot of situations in which I'd say that someone is ugly without meaning to be a dick. [although perhaps I still am...?] Say, while considering drawing the person in question. Or while discussing their relationship with somebody else. Or, if they're strikingly unattractive and obviously suffer from it, I may be saying something like "oh, it's such a pity, it must be hard for them to live like this".
Sometimes people whom I find very ugly provoke undesirable emotional reactions in me (like "if I look, they'll think that I think that they're ugly, but if I don't, they'll think that I do it because otherwise they'd think that I think that they're ugly"), and I just try to make the situation OK.

Is it... dickish?

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

There was this girl in HS, you know those types of girls that act "tough" and do nothing but shittalk other people? Well, there was this quiet popular girl that was in the class, and one day this girl-for no reason at all-said her clothes were nice. She didn't think she had any nice clothes, because everything else she wore was ugly as shit.

I always figured she got knocked up and is currently on welfare.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry :( people suck
Once I found on Facebook that a girl who I used to be friends with, had uploaded a photo of us and some other friends, but since she hand't tagged it I never saw it at the time. One of her friends had commented "That girl on the left is quite ugly, who is her?"
YAY, self esteem boost!

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

She probably has the hots for that guy. Do you know how many SPN fangirls say Dean and Sam's IRL wives are ugly? Fat? "Horse Faced"? If you've seen them you know that isn't true, jealousy and bitterness can be pretty ugly.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

i find myself remarkably ugly, more so when i look in the mirror for longer periods of time. but other people have disagreed with me and others still have agreed. at the end of the day, whether or not you are pretty, cute or beautiful isn't going to be objective.

sometimes people say things they don't fully mean, not necessarily intentionally but just in haste, or without adequate consideration. i wouldn't take her very seriously if i were you. and even if her opinion was genuine, it doesn't mean she's right.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[lunabee34]

OP, I'm sorry you overheard someone saying something nasty about you. *hugs*

I don't think this one girl's opinion means you're ugly though. I agree with the commenter who said it sounds like she was protesting the other person saying you're attractive.

Also, somebody somewhere thinks Ryan Gosling is ugly. Or Zoe Saldana. Or Beyonce. Or whoever. Think of the celebrity you think is most beautiful, and somebody somewhere thinks that person is ugly.

I bet your opinion of your own looks is a lot more accurate than random girl in chemistry's.

*hugs*

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[shinyhappypanic]

I saw the actual context that you posted above, and I would say you don't have anything to worry about.

I'm a high school girl as well, and usually from what I've experienced, the only time I would use that particular wording to call someone ugly is if everyone else thought that she was pretty. Like an "I think (random gorgeous girl) is so pretty" "Really? I think she's ugly" type of thing.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[dreemyweird]

This, btw. No need to state something that is already obvious to everyone around.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

OP... It doesn't matter whether you're beautiful or not. You are NOT your appearance. You are more than "beautiful" or "ugly", you are more than your body or how you look. You have a mind, thoughts and feelings and opinions inside you, and those count for something.

Please, please, don't ever believe the bullshit that society and other people put on you. You are worthy, simply by being human and existing. I wish somebody had told me that, when I was in high school.

That can be difficult to believe, when you're feeling hurt. Negative statements are hard to erase - I still remember some cruel things that were said about me, years later. But I don't let their bullshit define me.

Nor should you.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

Anon it's okay, not everyone is going to find you attractive and it's unfortunate that you had to overhear ?another? girl being so rude and immature.

Get yourself all determined and step in front of a mirror and look at all the cool parts of your face. Eyes are cool, you have a cool nose, it's your nose and some of your family member's nose. Your chin will look nice depending on the angle, it's like this for everyone. Maybe practice holding your head at different angles. Then step back a few feet and look at the whole of you. You're not so bad looking, you're pretty in your own way and only kinda of chubby.

Being self conscious sucks but you want to fake the confidence in yourself until it becomes real. Attitude is just as important.

You're not ugly anon.

*hug hug*