[ SECRET POST #2412 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2412 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 093 secrets from Secret Submission Post #345.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

?

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

idk, what is he using her for? Did he throw her to the zombies as bait so that he could get away? Did he enlist her in his magical girl secret agent program? Did he ask her to help fix his jeep, or did he perhaps copy her answers during a test? There's a world of difference between all of these things and they have varying degrees of terribleness.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

this comment is wonderful

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

I would not judge someone for using a prostitute

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

I would not judge a person for paying for sex, as long as they are not in a committed relationship or their partner knows and approves of their actions.

I would judge a person for participating in an exploitative sex industry, having sex with someone who might not be there of their own free will or getting their fair share of the money.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[kaijinscendre]

Were all participants involved consenting adults? If so, I don't give a shit what you do.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

not if he respected them as people providing a service.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

Only if he doesn't use protection and/or stiffs the girl/guy the agreed fee. As long as he does that then consent is upheld and public health not risked and can ask for his fetish to be screwed like Princess Celstia screwed Discord for all I care.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

In short: no, although, as was pointed out, there are issues of exploitation to be considered.

That said, depending on the circumstances, I might wonder about a guy who seems like he shouldn't have a problem finding a partner, a FWB, or [free] one-night stands and whether his use of a prostitute was due to some weird "I don't want to have to worry about someone else's needs" or "I hate women/men/people/anything resembling a relationship" kind of issue. Even then, wouldn't judge him for his use of a prostitute specifically, but rather his shitty attitude towards sex, relationships, and the well-being of others.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[thene]

Depends on the exact context, but in most actual, common, real-world circumstances? Yes, I would. It's entirely possible for prostitution to be non-exploitative and some of it is, but that's pretty rare compared to agencies stiffing young women for money, human trafficking dressed up as voluntary migration, prostitutes working in dehumanising and dangerous circumstances, the whole thing being carried out on a bedrock of misogyny, etc.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

I would, and do judge anyone who 'uses' prostitutes. Where the situation presents itself I would physically harm such a male. Prostitution is abuse, there's no other way to look at it.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

Like everyone has already said, it depends on the circumstances. I don't condone abuse, and that is unfortunately what most prostitution boils down to. Legal, fair, and safe prostitution? Fun for all parties.

(In an ideal world, I think prostitution like it exists in J.D. Robb's In Death series would work nicely.)

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

Nah. As long as he's not already in a relationship, he's not abusing them, pays them, shit is all consensual etc etc.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

I think I might judge a man who did not first do due diligence to try to find out whether the prostitute he was patronizing was not being coerced or otherwise taken advantage of, and was freely consenting to the arrangement. A sex-for-money business transaction between consenting parties is not morally wrong, but I think it's the would-be buyer's responsibility to ensure that this is what's actually going on.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

Short answer-yes.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

Was he respectful of her and paid her the money owed? Then no.

Was he a rude prick and used her? Yes

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

Lol'ing so damn hard at all the "but it's an abusive exploitative industry built on desperate people, and furthermore I..."

You live in modern western countries. Do you seriously think you don't indulge in industries built on exactly those things and worse, every single day, in almost every facet of your life?

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[anonymouslyyours]

In theory? No.
In reality? Oh fuck yeeeees.

Yes

[(Anonymous)]

Women, too. It'd be an absolute deal-breaker for me to be friends with somebody who would pay for sex, knowing what prostitution does to women and knowing how high the chances are that they're paying to rape somebody disenfranchised.

I know it's not the thing in internet feminism at the moment. But with the best will in the world I can't reconcile my feminism with anything short of being vehemently anti-prostitution.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, pretty much depends on the context. Prostitution is legal in my country and we have little problem with human trafficking, so most prostitutes are consenting adults. A lot of men I know have gone to prostitutes and it wasn't until I started watching Hollywood movies that I ever knew this isn't a common thing or is looked down on by many people.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

I know this isn't a popular opinion, and there are people who would be willing/would even like to be a prostitute, but I just can't agree with somebody buying sex. So yeah, I'd judge away.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

In theory, I wouldn't, but there are a lot real world factors to consider and generally, I find myself disapproving. Mostly because all the people I know of who have done this did it for shady reasons, or simply didn't care about all the implicated issues even when they are clearly present.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[darkmanifest]

Probably. One of my relatives used to be an exotic dancer, and she had more freedom, made more money, and was often less exploited in the club than she was at your standard minimum wage job. But prostitution is a little more sticky than legal sex work, in that its lack of regulation and decriminalization leaves even more room for mistreatment. It seems to me that a client, especially one who wasn't picky about such things, would be less likely to find an independent and secure escort who charges well what such a service is worth and enforces her limits, than to find someone in bad circumstances who has to accept whatever a creep is willing to give them. So, yeah, I judge.

this leaves a lot to be desired

[(Anonymous)]

It's the phrasing that bothers me, not the topic. "using" is such a negative word and makes it seem like the prostitute is not a human, but some sort of appliance or tool there simply to be used and discarded. Also men versus people. Just the whole phrasing bothers me and I'm judging you for your word choice.

I see nothing wrong with the profession of prostitution and don't think it should be illegal. But the attitudes that people have towards prostitutes - and this includes the whole "using" thing - is the problem. If we were in a society where people saw prostitutes as people and treated them with respect then that would be wonderful. But sadly we do not, and it's this attitude that I judge harshly.

Re: would you judge a man for using a prostitute?

[(Anonymous)]

If he made reasonable effort to find out whether she was there voluntarily, treated her with respect and paid her, nope, I don't see a problem at all. I am really not against sex work in theory - if it's a business between two consenting adults. I honestly think people who are like "bah, evil! immoral!" are overreacting.

and geez, not every prostitute is there involuntarily. I had an acquaintance who used to do sex work for extra money. Though I would never encourage a friend to do it just because of how dangerous it can be, she was not emotionally scarred or even regretful of her experience (she was an escort and worked for an "official" agency). I know that this example doesn't excuse the millions of women that are exploited and raped, but I just don't think prostitution is inherently damaging for women who are there freely and just want to make extra money.