case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-09-09 06:40 pm

[ SECRET POST #2442 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2442 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #349.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I just don't like demisexuality. Because for one thing, it is not a sexual orientation. It would be a romantic orientation. Also I think demisexuality is just some made up orientation for people who are straight but want to be special snowflakes and feel oppressed. "OMG, you don't have sex with someone until you get to know them. Your life must be soooooooooooo hard!"

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I'll never say this off-anon because I'm asexual myself but I have a real hard time seeing demisexuality as legit

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Hi, are you me?

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
There must be three of us because I'm neither of you.

...I think.

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chardmonster: (Default)

[personal profile] chardmonster 2013-09-09 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Basically, "demisexuality" is one of two things.

1. A way to make absolutely certain to potential partners you aren't going to jump into bed with them quickly--I understand that.
2. A way to call people who have casual sex sluts without getting yelled at.

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
Except people yell at demisexuals all the time for that????

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(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 02:43 am (UTC)(link)
So, question: Why does one need a label/name/identification/orientation for point 1?

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(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
Or 3. The state of actually being incapable of feeling any sort of attraction to people you don't know very well, to the point where you may not even be able to identify whether a person is physically attractive or not. Because finding someone sexually attractive is not the same as having (or wanting to have) sex with them. If demisexuality were only about who you were willing to have sex with, then you'd have a point. But it's not. It's about attraction.

(Not demisexual, just not seeing how this is hard to understand.)

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DA

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(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
You're right, don't be ashamed of your opinion. Demisexuals are the furries of sexuality.

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Wouldn't furries be the furries of sexuality?

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(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
I was thinking they're more like the bisexuals of sexuality? Like

if we have gender spectrum it's gay - straight spectrum, bisexuals are in the middle

and then sexuality is like sexual(?) - asexual spectrum with demisexuality in the middle???


Then you have that parallel of straights/gays frowning on bi, sexuals/asexuals frowning on demisexual

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(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
As an asexual I don't mind the idea of "demi" but I don't consider it a sexuality, I consider it a preference like I consider kink a preference.

orientiation = "a group of people a person would be open to having sex with, should other standards be met"

Demi- can't say that they are an orientation imo, because an orientation can't have "standards already met" as part of its definition.

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
I often hear this explanation: "Demisexuality means that you simply can't get aroused by people you don't personally know. This includes porn, no matter the kind." According to this a demisexual would only feel arousal if the pornstar was their friend and they liked them very much/had romantic feelings for them.

Isn't this a form of asexuality?
After all a lot of asexuals admit to being aroused by fanfic, porn, what have you. Some even masturbate. They just don't want the 'real' intercourse.

Or do you also think that asexuals who masturbate aren't "real aces"? :P

And for the record, I also don't think demisexuality is a sexuality. It's just a low level of sexual attraction.

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
It's not about libido, though (which is what I took you to mean by "a low level of sexual attraction" -- if you meant something else, I apologize and hope you'll clarify). It's not a form of asexuality because a demisexual person can enjoy and desire sex. A demisexual person can be very, very eager and enthusiastic about the idea of having and enjoying sex... it's just that their pool of prospective partners is limited to people they have certain feelings for -- and it's not even just about sexual partners, it's about thinking someone is hot, or getting that special tingly feeling in one's underpants from looking at someone.

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Being a sexual person involved with a demisexual person, I have to admit I am LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY at the whole idea that his demisexuality is "just a low level of sexual attraction".

I could elaborate but then I'd be late to WILD SEX O'CLOCK.

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
that's because it's not.

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
Agreed. I'm straight, and it makes my life really easy--I don't need the tumblr oppression points, and people who think they need them need to step aside and let real issues to the front.

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 07:04 am (UTC)(link)
it's so good to know what people without sexuality think of people who are sexual!

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
It's not just straight people, by far. I know demisexuals (I'm willing to use the word without quotes because I believe it's a valid identity, just not an orientation or something to act oppressed over) who are attracted to specific people of their own gender.

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
..being attracted to "specific people" of either/both genders is the DEFINITION of bi/homo/hetero-sexuality though. The only thing that doesn't fit under that is asexuality. Everyone on earth who isn't asexual is attracted to "specific people". I seriously doubt that anyone ever has actually in real life been attracted to EVERYONE.

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(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Again, that isn't a sexuality. The majority of sexual people do not jump into bed with every person they see. The majority of the population who is not Asexual does indeed feel sexuality like you and your friends do.

You're clinging to a madeup term created by a fifteen year old livejournal Rper who wanted a special term for her RP character. You're so ridiculous, it's side-splittingly hilarious. I do feel pretty bad second hand embarrassment for you, though.

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(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
This. I literally laughed the first time I heard it defined. It seems like about two-thirds of the human race is "demisexual."

(Anonymous) 2013-09-09 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
This! The first time I heard about demisexuality, I was like, "You like to know people very well before sex, which is different from most people how?"

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(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 01:24 am (UTC)(link)
When I first heard about the concept of demisexuality, I briefly used it as an identifier, but that was mostly because I had (or have) kind of a low sex drive so I felt like that was a good descriptor. In hindsight I think you're right though- that plus the "slut-shaming" theory.

(Anonymous) 2013-09-10 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
da

Yeah, I briefly considered labeling myself asexual for a time bc of a low sex drive. Now I know better.