[ SECRET POST #2665 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2665 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #381.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

02. http://i.imgur.com/Q2BpjMU.png

[(Anonymous)]

My eyes broke.

[caecilia]

They probably have a flooded inbox and didn't see it. Don't let this ruin your life or even your tumblr fun. Even if they are a jerk and were ignoring you on purpose (which I doubt), they are just some person on the internet. You don't need them to answer your ask to be happy.

[gabzillaz]

They could have missed it or forgot to answer it. Don't let that get you down, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

I understand being upset but damn, avoiding your tumblr because you don't want to see her good times is a bit much.

[otakugal15]

They could be busy, flooded over inbox, etc.

[morieris]

They said they love getting asks and messages.

They didn't say they love replying back.

But seriously though don't let it get you down!

[ex_mek82]

Sometimes, Tumblr eats messages for some inexplicable reason. I remember one time, I got this really hostile message from someone who was basically like "Yeah okay, you're a jerk for ignoring me" (such was the tone, but not the exact wording), when in fact I rarely ever receive messages in general in the first place -and a few months up until that note, I had gotten maybe 2-3 from logged-in friends-, and this particular message was sent anon, so I have no clue who it was or if any of their previous messages got eaten. =/

Things do slip between the cracks anyhow. Give it another shot, maybe? I'm sure it's nothing personal on their part.

[spiced_wine]

I constantly see posts on Tumblr where people complain they don't get notified of messages, or think their 'asks' have gone astray, OP. I had the same problem. I didn't check my asks, since it showed there were none, and when I looked one day (for no real reason) I found several messages from weeks previously. It may not be that the person is ignoring you at all. I certainly hope they're not, but I would be willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

[(Anonymous)]

I've kind of been there. I had just followed a blog and the owner posted one of those "please message me, I want new friends!" Eagerly I sent them an ask because 1) similar tastes in media, 2) same age range, & 3) I want to make some friends, alright? It took them a week to respond to me, which was privately, to say "haha yeah I like [x] too!" Meanwhile, I know they weren't busy because during that week they reblogged consistently and published various asks from other new friends. I kind of made myself a nervous wreck over it, wondering just what was so wrong about me.

So the sensible answer is that your BNF was probably busy. But in case they were actually a selective ass, I feel you.

[(Anonymous)]

Tumblr honestly does eat messages, so it could be that. Or it just got lost in the inbox if they're a bnf and get lots of messages. Maybe you could give it one more shot, write something about how you're not sure if Tumblr ate your message etc, then write whatever it is you wanted to write.

I feel you OP. I've got anxiety issues and I've deleted my tumblr out of "silly little things" similar to this. But try not to let it get to you too much!

[elaminator]

Maybe they didn't get it. Tumblr isn't the most reliable about asks. And even if they did get it...maybe they had so many asks that they forget to reply. (Or haven't gotten around to it yet.) I wouldn't take it too personally; it probably wasn't meant as a slight against you.

Plus, it's just an ask...you can always try again?

[dreemyweird]

Maybe tumblr ate the ask, or they felt too down to reply, or forgot, or lost the ask in their inbox. If it was just one ask that you've sent, any of these events is a legit possibility.

If you are really that upset, though, I'd advise to stop thinking about them. When I feel sad about something I can't change, I often try to cut it out of my thoughts and replace it with generic pleasant background-noise fantasies. In this case, avoiding tumblr (especially if you don't have tumblr friends/do not run a fandom blog) kind of makes sense. Under other circumstances it would probably be an overreaction, but as you say that you were heartbroken? It would do you no good to see their stuff on your dashboard.

Alternatively, you can try blacklisting them. Although I understand that it might be hard to do (seeing as they are your fandom's BNF). Eh, you just have to decide whether you are so upset that you are willing to let go of this portion of your fandom or whether you feel like you can eventually get over it.

[nailtek]

Could be that tumblr just ate your message. I know that half the time it takes some sort of blood sacrifice to get it to want to send a message that contains more than five words, and the fact it doesn't let you know that your message failed to send either doesn't help.

[(Anonymous)]

this is pretty much how i expect all human interaction to go

so i definitely know how you feel

[yield]

like others have said, tumblr is unreliable and people get busy. but that doesn't lessen the sting or anxiety you feel. i can understand OP cause ive had similar things happen. it's hard to put yourself out there and then when you feel ignored it makes it all the harder next time around. but if they are simply ignoring you then you have to remind yourself that they aren't the kind of person you would want to be close to after all.

it's always worth sending another ask saying hey, i sent you something and i know you might be busy, i just wanted to make sure you got it! there's nothing wrong with that as long as you are polite and not demanding. but yeah, it can be hard to send that kind of message when you are already feeling rejected.

[(Anonymous)]

If it's on tumblr - sometimes messages on tumblr just disappear. I know this from experience. You send someone a message, but somehow they never get it. It happens. So you could just try again. :)

[beverlykatz]

I'm not a BNF by any means, but I do get a fair number of messages and it's easy for me to lose track. The number of times I've drafted a reply, gotten distracted, and forgotten to hit send... They might also just be shy, or not sure what to say. I get the feeling, though. You don't know for certain.

[(Anonymous)]

Like everyone else has said, it's very possible that Tumblr ate the message.

But, they could also be one of those dicks where they revel in getting attention from people but are selective about who they respond to. I can understand getting upset about seeing all the fun going on without you, so I would recommend blacklisting/blocking them. If you don't want to try sending them another message first. I'd personally try to reach out one more time, and if they still ignore you, it's safe to assume that they're an asshole.

[vongroovy]

Asks on tumblr are so unreliable. Maybe they never got it! Maybe they replied and you didn't get it! It happens. And they might just be slow to answer asks, or shy about talking to new people, or just busy. I know it can be disheartening to reach out to someone and receive silence, but I think it's pretty unlikely they are purposefully ignoring you.

Also, one time I messaged someone because she seemed super cool and I wanted to get to know her, and I heard nothing back. And nothing back. And nothing back. And it was disappointing. But then she replied, like, months later. And now we're good friends, so...I don't know. Befriending people on tumblr can be a weird process. Try not to let it get to you if it doesn't always work out how you hope.

you know the message system on tumblr barely works right

[(Anonymous)]

Messages get lost all the time. I was trying to have a conversation with someone the other day and it ate my message like 6 times.

[littlestbirds]

This is familiar. I'm starting to feel weird about the dynamic of interacting with a more popular user who doesn't follow me back. I don't want to be the person who always replies to their personal posts when they've done nothing to invite it. It's a weird situation, because they often post things that I want to reply to (uncommon for me) that get almost no notes. I probably shouldn't read into it, and neither should OP, but it's hard when tumblr is so opaque.

tl;dr tumblr is not built for two way interaction

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, any of the things that other commentators say about tumblr eating posts could be true ... On the other hand, the person could just be a hypocritical shithead control freak who just likes wearing the mask of "approachable."

In any case, OP, it's them, NOT YOU. Don't allow yourself to be eaten alive: you deserve to be treated with courtesy.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm an anti-social asshole so I probably wouldn't reply to someone asking me to be friends either. To put it bluntly, I don't want any new 'friends', I just want to talk about the series I love. Replying would mean I either have to be rude (no matter how polite you put it, telling someone you have no interest in befriending them would sound rude) or I have to answer in a super non-committal fashion which would encourage the person to keep writing back. I'm not just an asshole, I'm also a coward, you see. Seems better to just ignore the message. The sender could then either take it as an implicit refusal or they could assume that tumblr ate it.
But then again I'm not a BNF nor would I ever post something saying "feel free to send me messages~" so...

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a bnf and I'm really guilty of being on the other side of this and I'm sorry :( It's just that IRL I work 50+ hours a week and my phone always eats replies so I'll check messages while on my break and then forget to reply when I get home, and by the time I get home I have new messages... and I only have a small amount of time for the internet (maybe 30 minutes a night, not including working on the fics/art that are the reason I'm a BNF)...
what I'm saying is that I'd like to apologize on behalf of that BNF because I do that to people and then see their messages again like 3 weeks later and send awkward "I'm sorry I missed you..." replies and I don't mean to be a jerk :(