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F!S Anon Meme (the Tenth?)

Secrets, rants, opinions, anything you want to say about your fandom or a fandom or fandom in general, do it here! Anonymously, of course. Get it all off your chest.

Some ground rules:
1. Going anon is encouraged but not absolutely required (for those who struggle with captchas and stuff).
2. No autoplaying/autolooping embeds, or embeds that cover/stretch the screen.
3. No dropping personal info or IRL contact info, etc.

That's about it!

List of General Threads (for easy access!)
a. Vid Rec thread
b. Positivity thread
c. What do you think of other F!S members?
d. Best Comments thread
e. Canceled Shows thread
f. Confessions thread
g. TMI thread
h. Which fictional character would you be...
i. "Is this offensive?"
j. In the good ol' days of fandom...
k. Popular fanfic you don't like
l. Really weird things you read in fanfics

Comments

Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm confused about this trope.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

I have no idea, but I'd imagine it's less love and more about people with rape fantasies. Or Stockholm Syndrome.

Either way, definitely does not appeal to me.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

But Dany and Drogo are in love.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

Please look up the requirements for SS.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, kinda. The point is that person A loves person B so much that they rape person B, after which person B (through the magical power of rape) realizes that they, too, love person A. Happy end.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

Don't they enjoy it? Like, really really enjoy it?
I can't see rape as rape if it's stripped of everything bad about it. It feels so minimizing toward real rape to call that "rape".

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

It depends. They often enjoy it, yeah.

So maybe it's not an actual fictional counterpart of RL rape, but the initial lack of consent squicks me out a lot. The need for consent seems like a weirdly specific thing to remove from a fictional universe, and considering the fact that this trope thus basically takes a common delusion rapists have and makes it true (within the universe, of course), it's... pretty sketchy, too.

Re: ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

Really? A lot of women find the lack of initial consent extremely hot, though, as long everything turns out fine. The idea of a man losing control over you is highly flattering. And it's women that are nearly always writing this trope.

SA

[(Anonymous)]

By "you" I mean general "you", not "you" anon. Or rather, women who find the trope appealing. Clarifying that to avoid unnecessary wank.

still ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

That's true, actually. And now that I think of it, maybe I shouldn't judge (even silently) the people who write this trope, as long as they recognize that fiction=/=reality.

I suppose I was unfair to them. I'm just really grossed out by the concept.

Re: ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure if it was somewhere here, but someone mentioned that it might be a common fantasy because as a woman to give up control and responsibility over what happens is very appealing?

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

More like Person A rapes person B but it's okay because person A did it because of how much they love person B, so person B will forgive person A.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

Does Person B suffer from the rape or is it just like regular sex with a few noes thrown in?

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

Rape is love isn't about real rape. It's a romanticized idea that the rapist loves the victim so much that he/she can't "love"/sex any other person, so they give into temptation. Or something stupid like that. In reality, if someone loved you, they wouldn't be raping you. It's fine in fantasy, but horrifying if people believe it's something that could happen in reality.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

But does person B suffer from this rape or not?
Every fic I've read that had this trope, person was undamaged and having amazing orgasms. I can see why people have a hard time seeing that as rape.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

Depends, I guess? I think B only suffers if the story is about the rapist feeling remorse, and ends with the victim forgiving them because it was ~love~.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

So all's well that ends well?

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

Horrifyingly yes. But again, that's a fantasy. A romanticized version of a horrific act of sexual violence. If someone truly love a person, they would not force themselves onto the other person.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

Why do people always feel the need to ridicule this trope when it's a beloved of many women?
Myself included. Romance where the feelings are mutual right away or too soon is boring and unsatisfying. I want internal struggle.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

I said it was fine as a fantasy. It's when it crosses into real life territory that it becomes an issue. No one is ever going to rape you if they love you, end of story. It's not how reality works.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm mostly unsure whether something in one of my favorite fics IS this trope - it definitely involves rape and it definitely involves love, but I'm not sure if it fits into the description.

Character A and character B have been obsessed with each other for a couple of years, this is NOT presented as a good and healthy thing and the fic does portray them as both broken and fucked-up people. Character A is a masochist who has been fantasizing about character B hurting him and considers character B to pretty much own him, character B is a sadist who has been fantasizing about hurting character A, and has a ton of control issues and needs things to be Just So. (Canonically, character B IS extremely fucked up, mentally.)

Neither character knows this about the other - character B tends to keep pushing character A away, which is because a part of him is horrified by his own thoughts and he doesn't actually want to hurt character A, and which character A interprets as being because character B knows about character A's feelings and is disgusted by them. Both are essentially head over heels in love with each other.

Eventually, after character A kisses character B on impulse and because he thinks it's the last time he'll ever see him, they do realize, oh shit, we've been lusting over each other for years, let's do something about this. Cue sweet, consensual, and hot sexual activity, mostly oral sex, before falling asleep together.

Until character B wakes up after horrific nightmares, realizes that if he doesn't do something, he could lose character A, so he ties character A to the bed and rapes him (and it is rape, complete with character A begging him to stop at first). About halfway through, the tone changes and character A's begging for character B to stop starts turning into character A begging character B to keep going. The aftermath is... almost sweet, but neither really acknowledge that it was rape. This entire scene is from character B's perspective.

Next chapter is from character A's perspective, where he thinks back to the night before and is sort of... both horrified and not-horrified over what happens. He acknowledges that it was terrifying to begin with but also felt good in a masochistic kind of way, and still feels incredibly tender towards character B, both despite and because of what he did, character B is ashamed of his actions and keeps trying to force character A to leave so he won't hurt him, character A just wants to help character B and still wants to be with him, including wanting to be fucked (and hurt) by character B.

That story technically isn't finished, but there are side stories set afterwards where they are in a fairly happy (and kinky) relationship, they do genuinely love each other, and character B is STILL fucked up and has massive control issues and character A basically martyrs himself for it and is still trying to save character B (although he does make a point of telling character B that if he ever hits him in anger outside of the bedroom, he WILL leave).

Basically, tl;dr, character B rapes character A but character A ends up enjoying it and, later, acknowledges that it was terrifying and wrong of character B to do it but is okay with it (and more okay with it than character B) and still wants to pursue a sexual and romantic relationship with him. Story portrays both of them as being really fucked up, obsessive, and broken, and does NOT at all say that it's a healthy relationship, even if it does end up as a loving one.

Would you say this fits the category of 'rape is love'?

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

>Story portrays both of them as being really fucked up, obsessive, and broken, and does NOT at all say that it's a healthy relationship
Hmm, not my thing then.

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

What fic is this? I'm really curious

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

http://archiveofourown.org/series/70876 , the parts I mentioned are the end of chapter 10 and most of 11 for the second story, and the sidestories are in that oneshot, the third one listed. Also, the author describes it as dub-con, although it is marked correctly as non-con in the warnings list (I would describe it as non-con).

It can be pretty dark (with the above part probably being the worst of it), but you sort of end up hoping that both characters end up happy despite how fucked up they are (and, uh, despite canon putting an end to that pretty quickly).

Re: Is "Rape is love" about rape or not?

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Wow, I actually really like this ship (haven't checked the tag in forever though). Thank you, I'll definitely take a look at it! It sounds like something I would be into