[ SECRET POST #2783 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2783 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 069 secrets from Secret Submission Post #398.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - random pattern image ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

10. http://i60.tinypic.com/2u4r8s4.jpg

[dancing_serpent]

Yeah, same for me. Doesn't matter if it's a great relationship or a bad one or something in between, it's hard for me to watch them and not feel angry/hurt/sad.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I feel you, OP. My relationship with my family is rocky at best. Watching shows where they deal with family issues always hurts like a bitch.

[dreemyweird]

The exact same problem here. Also, deep inside, I find I don't actually believe in good mother&daughter relationships.

Have some hugs, OP, if you want them :(

[(Anonymous)]

I understand personally feeling the way the OP does, but not "believing" in good mother/daughter relationships? IDGI. Do you, like, think that everyone who has a good relationship with their mom is actually lying or something?

[(Anonymous)]

Uh sorry, what? "Don't actually believe in good mother&daughter relationships"? Don't you know anyone IRL who has a good relationship with their mother? Or do you think those people are all just pretending?

[(Anonymous)]

don't actually believe in good mother&daughter relationships? man you're fucked up and I pity you.

[peablossom]

Huh. I had a shitty father, but get irrationally emotional about good father/daughter relationships (I watched The Game Plan an embarrassing amount of times for this reason).

[(Anonymous)]

Similarly I always feel confused when I see girls hug/love/have fun with their fathers on tv. Growing up with an alcoholic father has left me unable to understand how a daughter and a father can get along in the least even now I'm 30.

[otakugal15]

Well, Father/Daughter stuff makes me slightly envious cause my dad and I didn't get along as I refused to be what HE wanted me to be. Not mention he treated my little brother like shit cause he refused to learn and help my brother with his Asperger's.

B/

I like seeing the Mom/Daughter ones cause I was infinitely more close to my mom than my dad. And I'm angry there aren't more. You at least have an abundance of dad relationships where I don't have as many mom.

[cassandraoftroy]

For me it's the other parent, but I sympathize. Saccharine father-daughter songs make me actively angry, because there's something deep inside me screaming, "That's a lie!" at the sentiments. I don't think I have quite the same reaction with father-daughter relationships in TV and movies, oddly enough. Maybe because they're obviously distinct characters who are Not Me in a way that songs lack?

[inthecorner]

Nah, I get what your saying. I'm bitterly jealous of siblings with good relationships with each other because the relationship with mine is not very good. It's not always rational, but it's good, at least, that you're aware of it.

[arcadiaego]

Me too. Although weirdly I have a stressful relationship with my dad as well but like stories where children and their fathers overcome their differences etc. I don't like thinking about what this says.

I'm less interested in mom/daughter relationships for the opposite reasons...

[(Anonymous)]

I love my mommy. She's the most positive influence in my life. She's my emotional pillar. When I go home, the thing I look forward to most is cuddling with her, having her take care of me, feed me, and just all around baby me. I know it sounds rather pathetic, but it's true. Because my relationship with my mom is so fulfilling, I'm not all that interested in watching media with mother/daughter relationships.

My dad on the other hand…

I love him, but we definitely have a lot of issues. So there's nothing I like better than media with flawed fathers. Fortunately for me, there's plenty of this. But I've definitely noticed that I like to consume works that feature fathers and father figures because my own relationship with my dad is so fractured. It kind of fills a hole in a way and lets me live out a fantasy of fixing our relationship.

[(Anonymous)]

i used to be super annoyed at tv families in general; the happy functional ones always seemed so unrealistic from my life experience, and the less happy ones would either be completely abusive or too cliché to relate to... like the neglectful/demanding posh parents... anyway i'd just get really annoyed that there weren't families i could relate to.
these days i like functional families and good parents a lot, as i'm less in the 'child' mindset and more looking towards the kind of parent i want to be.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry to hear that anon. :(

I feel the same way about father/daughter relationships.

I'm going to hug my parents ASAP

[elephantinegrace]

Seriously, this entire thread...damn, I am lucky that I can call my parents out on their shit. There's a lot that needs to be said for mutually respectful parent-child relationships.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry, OP.

I'm kind of the same, kind of not... mother-daughter dynamics in stories don't bother me because I've kind of accepted I'll never have a good trusting relationship with the person who broke my trust, beat the shit out of me when being a parent wasn't convenient, and still has the nerve to play the victim in the whole thing. I no longer crave this "normal" relationship and I'm not embarrassed at seeing fictional characters have it or work toward it.

But damn, I'm also a huge sucker for father-son anything. Drama, non-drama, love (parental-child), buddies, protector, anything as long as it isn't incestuous.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm kind of the opposite. I love good parent relationships on TV, whether they're mother/daughter, father/daughter, father/son....there's not a lot of mother/son I guess.

But bad or maybe just difficult mother/daughter relationships on TV are painful in a way that bad father/child relationship aren't. They hit too much of a nerve I guess. I have a great dad, but my relationship with my mother has always been strained, for a lot of reasons. Mothers like Mary Shannon's mother on In Plain Sight, or Angela on Rizzoli & Isles can really make me flinch.

(And I'm not saying Angela is a bad mom actually - she's more together than my mom ever was. But sometimes some of the ways she deals with Jane just..... yeah.)

[(Anonymous)]

Both make me jealous...

[(Anonymous)]

Me too! It's surreal how accurate that is. I think it's more like, I'd rather not see mother-daughter relationships in media, but I get jealous when I see people say "My mom's my best friend!" in real life.

Similar to how I'd go over to my friends' houses and see that their moms were genuinely relaxed and nice, Joyce and Buffy came off to me as weirdly fake. Goethel and Rapunzel's relationship seemed very muahaha moustache twirly, a little too OTT for me to relate. I've never been interested in watching Gilmore Girls because "cool mom is Rory's BFF!" does nothing for me. I'm okay with a range of mother-daughter relationships if they're off screen or take up very little screentime. I get more than enough of my mom and her constant lecturing, martyr complex, and comparing me to perfect women in real life. I like mothers with sons, though.

Give me the spectrum of daughters and dads, except for father-daughter incest and "gruff weary badass man rapidly grows to love snarky kickass perfect Strong Female Teen" (Ugh I hated The Last of Us.) I love both sons and daughters with horrible dads and daddy issues, daughters who've grown up without fathers, positive and heartwarming father-daughter relations (Mulan and her dad YES), and kind of awkward middle-of-the-road ones. Because while my dad can be tough, hypocritical, and stubborn as hell, he raised me well and showed me that I could still have fun and things I like in moderation/when I've earned it, instead of spending every single second criticizing myself and obsessing about how other people will judge me.

[rbhudson]

:( I'm sorry, OP

[(Anonymous)]

I get this. For years I found it uncomfortable to watch, and like dreemyweird said above, a deep part of me didn't even understand/believe that mothers and daughters could really love each other (even though in RL I know there are many daughters and mothers are happy together) as that wasn't my experience at all.

I'm actually writing a happy child/mother relationship now, for the first time, after years of writing screwed up ones because I didn't have any other model, but still feeling bad and guilty about it. It's very therapeutic. It is a son/mother relationship, though. I think writing a healthy daughter/mother relationship would still be too much for me.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

You are not alone. I am not exactly jealous, maybe more disbelieving: they look like a lazy over-simplifications or rose-tinted fairy tales, not real life.

Because even though I have a mother from hell, I don't think my friends' mothers are that wonderful or loving with their daughters, except in comparison to mine.

Mostly it makes all manipulative book, movie, TV show and articles I see about motherly love etc. seem horribly fake and crass. Exploitative is probably the word I am looking for: exploiting the public desire for an ideal mother/daughter relationship that doesn't, cannot exist to sell their products.

[(Anonymous)]

I could have written this myself. Right with you, OP.