[ SECRET POST #2925 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2925 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #418.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know what you're driving at with that image, but the reason is that some people are harmed by body shaming, and some people are not.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

you still shouldn't body shame people just because you like to assume that they won't be hurt by it tho

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

...who exactly is in the "not" set?

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

Because people are hypocritical assholes.

Women who won't date short men have no right to criticize men who won't date fat women. Even less so actually since people can alter how much they weigh but not how tall they are.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

So are you implying that the woman in the link criticized anyone for not dating her because she's fat? All she did was post a picture of her belly.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[diet_poison]

ok I hate this "analogy". I can't believe so many people take it seriously.

Lots of women don't want to date short men. Similarly, lots of men don't want to date tall women.

Lots of women don't want to date fat men. Similarly, lots of men don't want to date fat women.

We can (and should) talk about the implications of these general preferences and peoples' ways of expressing them, but for the love of doughnuts can we stop comparing one thing in Category A to another thing in Category B? They are really not comparable.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

she got like two notes,

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

what an awful layout

cyan background is dumb as hell too

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

Because the people who complain about body shaming are part of some groups but not others.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know. If you look at it 100% logically, height is an even worse thing to mock someone for, as weight is changeable and height flat out isn't.

It's not only men, either. Tall women are included.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

And you couldn't just write an example instead of digging up some girl's image for people to gang up and ridicule because...?

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[lb_lee]

How dare you sully OP's surely altruistic and innocent reasons! I'm sure that he TOTALLY chose the girl for totally impersonal reasons, and to even suggest otherwise means you're a terrible judgey person.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

Because it perfectly exemplifies the hypocrisy I'm talking about.

Show don't tell.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[siofrabunnies]

Culturally, because people are often hypocritical assholes. Personally, I don't think it is okay.

Also, I'm not sure if that picture goes so far as "shaming" as to call her out. She's disappointed that the guy she liked is shorter than her, and that's all I see. She didn't insult him, she didn't say he should grow taller, or anything like that. She's just not attracted to short guys. Just from the context of this picture, I see an overweight girl complaining that they guy she was attracted to has a quality she finds rather unattractive, that being shortness. So, what? Are fat girls not allowed to be unattracted to short guys? Or did she do more than is depicted in this picture?

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

Look of sher disgust and it's plural not singular.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

I've seen a lot of guys say "So, what? Are guys not allowed to be unattracted to fat girls?" as an excuse to express disgust and disappointment at them, too. I don't think this is any different or morally superior.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

What do you mean? do you mean when Tumblr makes fun of a post about body expectations of men? because anorexia is hilarious when it affects men!

http://cade-a-way.tumblr.com/post/106356824151/for-those-of-you-trying-to-make-it-funny

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[herpymcderp]

It's not. It's one of the (several) reasons I don't tend to support fat acceptance movements as organized representative groups would have them. Body positivity does not only apply to larger bodies, guys.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

Not being attracted to short guys =/= body shaming.

(Incidentally, not being attracted to overweight people =/= body shaming either.)

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[kallanda_lee]

It isn't.

It quite plainly isn't. If you do you're sort of a dick with double standards.

(That being said, everyone has the right to NOT be attracted to you).

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[nightscale]

I don't think body-shaming is ever okay tbh, it's perfectly fine to not be attracted to someone but man don't be a dick about it.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

It's fine to have preferences, but it's not nice to go on and on about what you don't find attractive in a person. So the first picture (with the crying face) isn't something I would post about any physical trait.

BUT the assumption that this post shows hypocrisy bugs me. Nowhere does the girl say or imply that she is allowed to have preferences and other people aren't. People are just assuming that because she posted her belly with a positive comment, she's telling people they have no right to not be attracted to her or overweight people in general. But she doesn't say that, anywhere.

I really doubt someone would have bothered to juxtapose those two images and call them an example of hypocrisy if the belly image had been a picture of a thin stomach with, say, a positive comment about how much weight she's lost. But no one assumes that thin women posting those pics are demanding that people be attracted to them, because it's just assumed that everyone already is. But couldn't someone be all "HYPOCRITE! You think it's okay to shame short men and demand that I be attracted to thin women? What if I don't like thin women?!?"

In general, I don't like the idea that if someone (almost always a woman) posts a pic of herself with a positive comment, she's saying that everyone else must agree that she's attractive, but I see that attitude all the time. Usually from guys who think every pic a woman posts is obviously supposed to appeal to them.

And furthermore, it's annoying that the simple fact that she's overweight and okay with it means she's a hypocrite to have preferences. So people can only have preferences if they fit the conventional standard of beauty? I guess the implication is "she's ugly, but she only wants attractive guys" but her body type isn't ugly to everyone. Just like tall guys aren't attractive to everyone.

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[(Anonymous)]

sidenote: it's kind of strange just how many anti-short guy posts I see on Tumblr for a community that's soooooo ~supportive~ of trans men, who tend to be shorter than most men. but thinking is never Tumblr's strongsuit.

(note: I don't think short men get half as much shit as fat women or are even comparable.)

Re: why is body shaming of some groups okay but not others

[diet_poison]

ok I would not say the not wanting to date a guy shorter than yourself is "body shaming" because a lot of people are hung up on relative heights.

I would say it's pretty shallow and she might be missing out, but that's just me...I know a lot of people who won't date someone outside the typical "man is taller, woman is shorter" setup. But then again, I also don't care for really, really tall guys, and that's also not "body shaming", it's a preference.