[ SECRET POST #2951 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2951 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[The To-Do List, Brandy/Willy]


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03.
[Avatar: Legend of Korra]


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04.
[The Amazing World of Gumball]


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05.
[Agents of Shield]


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06.
[Game of Thrones]


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07.
[Galavant]


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08.
[Soukyuu no Fafner Exodus]


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09.
[Jamie Dornan from "The Fall"]


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10.
(Neil Gaiman)













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 054 secrets from Secret Submission Post #422.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

Mine below.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

So I met this guy on a dating site, and he seemed nice. However, he'd only been to college for two years and had typos in a few of his emails and other stuff that indicated he wasn't as educated as me. So when someone who seemed far more my type emailed me I let that other guy go by the wayside... only for "my type" to announce he liked someone else better.

So now I feel like a snob who got punished by karma big time.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think you're a snob. You just value different things than that first guy did. He isn't necessarily stupid or uneducated because he has typos. He just might not care. But, to you, putting your best foot forward and communicating in an intelligent manner is a priority. It's not for him.

Unless you think you're better than him, you're not a snob. If you looked at his emails and saw that he didn't value how he presents himself to the same degree that you do, I don't think it's a big deal that you're more attracted to someone who follows similar conventions.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[herpymcderp]

Eh. Everyone needs a litmus for dating people. I personally wouldn't have responded to guy 1 either, because I also use that same metric when I'm deciding if I want to be friends/more with someone.

Communication is vitally important, and nothing throws up more red flags than someone who can't spell or who has poor grammar for me.

Besides, for all you know guy 1 would have been just as much of a tool anyway.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

Falling in love with the first nice-looking guy who's kind to me. First because they're usually taken or gay. Second because when the guy is someone you work with you run the risk of making things awkward if he ever learns about it.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

I really don't think you should be using typos as a warning sign that someone is not intelligent or uneducated. Many people do not pay attention to how they're typing when it's in a casual setting, and I've known the most brilliant people to act like complete dumbasses online (because they do it on purpose.)

I don't think it's unreasonable to want someone on or near your level, but how much college someone has completed is also not always a great indicator of that. I have a masters but I know people who never even completed college who are far more knowledgeable then I am.

Basically, I think you should probably get to know people better before making such judgements, but I don't think it's wrong to not want to continue communication once you know for sure.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[othellia]

You never met, so it's really not that big of a karma blow. Yeah, he might have been amazing in person, or you could have kept picking up all sort of "not quite on the same wavelength" signals."

Plus some basic standards/litmus tests are good to have.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

It was a bit snobby of you, yeah.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[iceyred]

Wanting someone who has similar life experiences to yourself is not snobbish. Thinking that you are better than someone else because of those life experiences is snobbish.

You're not a snob. You just wanted something different from what guy 1 had to offer.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, it happens. I'm also guilty of judging people by how well they express themselves online, and I don't think it's a crime. It isn't, however, indicative of education or lack thereof. Not anymore, at least. It's the online culture now to be a little sloppy in how you type, or to lapse into textspeak altogether, especially for people as young as college age.

You'll have to decide for yourself what your dealbreakers are in a relationship, of course. But if you regret this incident, it's not a bad idea to sit down and have a good think about what's really important vs. superficial issues. Particularly at the early getting-to-know-you stage, it doesn't hurt to be relaxed about the superficial things. Also remember that plenty of assholes write like college professors.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

Next time, try to get a date with bot without letting anyone fall by the way side. You're allowed to date more than one person at once when it's still in a super-casual, first date phase. That way, you can see if they seem to have compatible intelligence levels and interests as you.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[herpymcderp]

Not knowing much about the needs of my first cat. I fed her dry food every day for the ~19 years I cared for her.

I was only a kid when I got her, and no one ever mentioned that this wasn't ideal. So, when she got to be an old girl and developed kidney failure it was my fault. I should have done more research, or something.

Now I make sure my new cat gets enough moisture with his food every day, but I still feel bad about being so irresponsible before.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[siofrabunnies]

Same. I got my cats when I was around 12, and my mom didn't take care of them well. It was a lot of dry food and declawing. I really regret not fighting her harder on those issues, especially since two cats were severely overweight, one had diabetes, and the oldest lived to only thirteen.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

The average lifespan for a housecat is 15 years. I think you did well enough by her.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[ginainthekingsroad]

To be fair, all cats are prone to kidney trouble as they age. An elderly cat's kidneys might fail regardless of whether the moisture content is available to consume. If your cat lived to 19+, that's an extremely long life!

For us with our now almost-15 year old, it's been an issue balancing the needs of his skin issues (wet/high protein recommended) and his now aging renal system (LOW protein is the way to go, and he couldn't stand the renal formula wet foods).

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

I feel guilty about blacklisting people's names on tumblr instead of unfollowing them.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm kind of upset with some WoC regarding Agent Carter and I feel guilty because I can see their point of view, but at the same time, I feel they're being really dismissive and it gets under my skin.

For full context: I'm half-white, half-POC but definitely white passing. Growing up, it didn't really help much because my last name makes it pretty clear that I'm not wholly white and our whole small town knew our origins anyway.

For Agent Carter, a lot of fans (especially WoC) I've seen on Tumblr are saying they won't support it because it's just another example of white feminism. And I agree that it could use more diversity.

At the same time, though, they also dismiss the fact that Hayley Atwell's father is Native American. While for Agents of Shield, they got on people's cases for pretending that Chole (Skye's actress) was white. Even though she's white passing as well and, like Hayley, has a white mother and POC dad.

The whole thing makes me feel guilty because I totally get that people want diversity, but at the same time, I feel like they're stripping away Hayley's identity and, implicitly, dismissing me as well. I'm angry at them. I know I shouldn't be. But I really, really am.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

At the Yule ball my school held in 7th grade I declined to dance with a guy because he was shorter than me. (I was at the time about 170 cm tall and he was at least 20 cm shorter than me) I didn't tell him that was the reason though.

It's so silly, and almost 10 years past now, but some times I just think back to that moment and feel so guilty.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[kallanda_lee]

I feel guilty for not doing something I promised to do for my cousin (even though he was a dick about it), but to be fair he's done a lot for us and now it's sort of awkward.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[iceyred]

I was once an asshole to a girl in high school. I shouldn't have been. :(

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

I once took the first opportunity to leave when a girl was confessing her love to me. Basically she was just about to get to the feelings part, when a friend knocked on the door, said she was looking for us and asked if we wanted to hang together and I said yes a bit too quickly and so the girl never got it out. I occasionally get terrible bangs of guilt about it still. I was a confused horrible teenager.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

I just read an article about how K-cups are really bad, being non-recyclable and a waste of plastic. I guess I never really even thought about it that way, even though I go out of my way to recycle and try not to be wasteful or anything. It just never occurred to me, probably because I loved the convenience of my Keurig so very much.

Now I feel guilty about it and might just go back to making pots of coffee.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[caerbannog]

I was rude to this lady for not moving so I can sit on the tram and she started to say something in this real soft broken voice and gave up and I just feel real bad she prob had a good reason and I didn't apologise :C

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

My household has a duel income, and I just took a gander at our combined earnings last year and it's way above what I ever expected. I grew up borderline poor, careened into my early twenties poor, and spent the first, oh, 14 years of my married life poor. The last six years has gotten steadily better, but I think of myself as poor. But I'm not poor, according to mine and my husband's W-2. I don't know how it happened, I didn't put any special effort into it other than choosing a good choice in jobs and spending the last few years keeping on keeping on, and now I feel guilty. Which, I know, first world CRY MOAR problems. But the guilt's there.

Re: Things I feel guilty for thread

[(Anonymous)]

Not liking Korrasami. Hell, not liking Legend of Korra in general. :/ I feel both guilty and sad because everyone who knows me thinks it'd be my type of ship/show because of two bisexual WOC. And normally I would be all over that, but... I just find them boring? I don't hate them or anything and I don't hate the show. I watched the first two seasons when they first aired, dropped it, tried to pick it back up for seasons three and four, but could never seem to enjoy it. And not for bad writing purposes either. I found the writing shoddy in some places, but not terrible. I don't consider Korrasami a bad ship either. It's just...boring to me.

But all of my current fandom friends keep trying to push me to it because they want me to read/write fanfic for it. I haven't publicly said I find the ship/show boring either. Don't wanna burst their balloons. I've just been saying "haven't gotten around to it." Yeah. I definitely feel guilty. :(