[ SECRET POST #3256 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3256 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[The Man From U.N.C.L.E.]


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07.
[Ace Attorney]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 010 secrets from Secret Submission Post #465.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

09. http://i.imgur.com/Tg6HX3C.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

o.O It seems like you're making quite a to-do over something I honestly haven't heard anyone claim represents internalized homophobia for not doing?

And honestly if it squicks you it squicks you. You can't be faulted for that as long as you're not using that squick to make untoward unjustified statements about whole groups of people or to discriminate against them (compare with how the "ew buttsex" crowd has sometimes used to 'prove' why their homophobia is valid).

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's the way you're framing it.

"Ew, put something in a guy's butt? GRoooOoOss" sounds a lot more homophobic and prejudiced against men who like anal play, than "I don't want to interact with anyone's else's ass, male or female."

Unless you'd be totally fine with a woman's ass, and then you might want to think about that more

This

[(Anonymous)]

I completely agree with this. In fact, I've heard a lot of LGBTQIA+ people cite this kind of thing as a reason they don't really like the slash community. It's that "I'd NEVER do anal!" reaction. The thing that girls who read slash don't understand is that if you don't want to do the sex thing in question, that's cool. It's your body.

But your reasons shouldn't be something you'd hear come out of a homophobe's mouth (unless you want to sound like one). "Oh that's so gross" or "It's a visceral turn off." Because that sends the message that you don't care about gay men any farther than "fictional gay guys are hot". It's the perpetuation of the "gay sex is dirty" message that society so often sends.

That's not helped by the empty pseudo-feminist "This sex thing isn't about GIRLS" message. Which is ridiculous since, if the girl initiated it, she is obviously getting something out of it. Made worse by the "I'm bisexual" comment, since your experience doesn't exactly trump the experience of others. You can't guarantee that you can't or won't say something offensive if you're part of the community.

TL;DR: OP needs to stop pointing fingers and making excuses and understand that you can say "I don't want this" without basically saying that homosexuality is gross. Bisexuality is not a defense card, op. Stop being gross.

[diet_poison]

First, I did not think OP's message came across like that at all

Second, why should she have to justify if she wants to mess with a woman's ass but not a man's?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't get why they call you homophobic? Do they believe all the guys who enjoy anal play are attracted to men? Or that all gays like buttsex? Maybe you don't like sticking your fingers' up someone's asshole and that's ok.

[(Anonymous)]

What sort of weirdass fandoms are you in where women are constantly being judged and for not wanting to buttfuck their boyfriends?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm curious about this too.

[(Anonymous)]

No judgement here. I'm a "your kink might not be my kink" kind of person and not wanting to stick your figure up someone's ass is perfectly fine. Anyone who tells you you have to do XXX in the bedroom or you are ___phobic is a jerk and shouldn't be allowed to play with other people.

[(Anonymous)]

(Think about how many gay guys and bi guys out there are total bottoms or total tops)

Actually I was reading a piece about an hour ago that claims the answer to this is... actually not many at all. (Or at least among younger gay/bi men.) http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2015/12/03/college-men-having-sex-with-men-are-they-still-exclusively-tops-or-bottoms/

Sorry, not terribly related to your main point, but I found it interesting and other people might too!

[(Anonymous)]

Headline news: people are really judgey. So what? Their opinions are meaningless.

[(Anonymous)]

Personal TMI, but I've never found prostate stimulation... Stimulating

It just feels weird to me

Not judging people who are into it, but it's just not my thing

[(Anonymous)]

Where in the internet do you go where that is a thing?

[(Anonymous)]

I really wish that "I'm not into this" wasn't so often read as "I condemn anyone who's into this"

[kallanda_lee]

What parts of fandom do you hang out in...because frankly I have found it really, really common for slash fans to say "hey I like anal in fiction, but not in real life at all".

Maybe it's perspective, because I sort of assumed MORE people would be doing it in real life too.

(Or maybe I'm just bitter cause I'm not railing anyone's ass right now lol)

[iceyred]

Looking at all the other people here questioning what the hell kinda weird fandom you hang out in, I'm guessing this 'judgement' never happened and you're either trying to stir shit up, or you want sympathy.

Either way, I'm amused.

[philstar22]

I agree with the commenter who suggested it was the way you put things. "ew, gross" is a bit different than saying you personally don't like it. Not sure I'd go quite as far as homophobic because plenty of women enjoy this kink too (myself included), but it does sound a bit judgmental of people who do enjoy ass play things on men.

[gobbledigook]

Nothing wrong with not being into whatever stuff, but I do have to wonder how does this sort of conversation even comes about that you are constantly having to mention that you're grossed out by it? It seems kinda bizarre to me, since when I see discussion of something I'm not really into or am grossed by I just... gloss over it and search for something that tickles my fancy instead?

Also, I always had a thought about this: "you can be okay with receiving something and not giving it", it makes sense to me but I'm pretty sure there's people who will get really upset when men don't want to do oral sex on their (female) partners. What do you think of this, and doesn't it go against what you say about men being coddled?

[(Anonymous)]

I pretty much stopped reading at "As slash fandom gets older and more and more ladies in fandom find boyfriends..." Oh honey, lots of them have been grandmas for years.

Grandmas into anal.

You can't unsee it now.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure I buy all these supposed conversations about the sex fandom people are having. I mean, fandom can get over-share-y at times, but I've yet to run into anyone discussing how they give it to their significant other.

[(Anonymous)]

Let me get this straight. You enjoy anal stimulation, but not stimulating a male anus yourself, because...um...

OK, so you're a bottom, then.

[ninety6tears]

I don't think I've come across this "everyone should play with their man's ass!" attitude, but I do get a vague impression that there are weird standards about who's supposed to like anal. Like guys liking it is hot or adventurous or it's "the thing that gay guys do" but a woman who actually likes being penetrated that way and isn't just letting a man do it for his sake is some kind of mythical porn object (STFU Gillian Flynn).

[(Anonymous)]

IDK in my experience a lot of times when people online are like "people are ALWAYS judging me for this personal thing" its usually cause... that person keeps bringing up that thing... when they don't need to. Like if you see a conversation on pegging you don't have to join it OP.

[(Anonymous)]

Ok permit me to be a little MRA here:

Sex positivity is for men? Really? Because as far as I've seen the Sex positivity movement has been exclusively about supporting women's sexuality (which is of course good an positive), while male sexuality is still fairly harshly demonised as creepy gross misogynistic and dangerous.

I mean I get what you're saying with the rest of this secret, but I don't think the sex positivity movement is doing jack to make male sexuality culturally acceptable.

[(Anonymous)]

When you tell someone their real life kink is "gross", I think you can expect some backlash, dear.