[ SECRET POST #3424 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3424 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 15 secrets from Secret Submission Post #488.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

I played on PS3, so that's probably your problem. I don't trust "HD re-releases" of a game that came out in the last 5 years. Hell, I barely trust "HD re-releases" of any console game.

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

lol I was wrong as it turns out. What Ari said: we did get the PS3 version.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

Then I dunno what to tell you. Seems like every game you play has "bugs."

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

I don't know if you realize this since you say you don't really play modern games, but a lot of newer games do have bugs these days... pretty severe ones. I play a fair number of AAA games, and I usually play them shortly after release.

The typical treatment of an AAA title is to have it rushed out of development without fixing issues because of course you can always patch that later (and usually those patches never really manifest unless it's a game-breaking issue).

It's not really my fault that I notice these things. I'm certainly not the only person to notice them or comment on them.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

Oooh, it's been a while since I've gotten the classic Herpy Condescension™! I don't know what dogs barking in your head told you I said anything of the sort, but it's categorically untrue, and what you're describing simply is not apparent to me, and we play a lot of the same games. Do many games come with bugs? Sure, but I have never experienced any of the things you've described in any of the games we've mutually played. I've never had a problem with the stealth in TLOU or the prompts, which I never really needed after a while anyway.

Of course, now that the gloves are off I don't have to pretend to be polite, so I'm going to tell you right now that I think what you're mistaking for bugs or poor design decisions almost certainly amounts to brutal incompetence on your part. Like, DarkSydePhil levels of sucking ass.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

looooool ok. Sorry I made you mad enough to try to insult my ~gaming skillz~, but you're the one who has mentioned to me multiple times that you play mostly retro games (the ones I recall most are System Shock and older Fallout titles).

It was an honest question. If you actually were primarily a retro gamer I wouldn't expect you to be all that familiar with the shitty state of game releases this generation.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

I ain't even mad. But I never once said to you that I "mostly" play retro games because that would be a lie. I mean, I do play a lot of them, but I play an equal amount of more recent games. I mean, it's not like I haven't CLEARLY had my pants halfway down to my knees over Doom 2016. Or XCOM 2. Or a lot of other games made in the last 5 years. So you assumed that because I play games made a decade or more ago, that MUST mean I'm a retrogamer, let's just ignore all the time I talk about more recent games.

And I didn't have to be mad to insult your gaming skills. I legitimately think you're a bad player, and I'd been dancing around it earlier in this thread trying to be polite.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

I guess I could point to CoD spec ops rankings in the top 1000-10,000 (out of several million, obvs) to "prove" I'm good at video games, but like... why? I finished M:LL on hard no-kill, all stealth too. It doesn't really matter to me what you assume about my skill at gaming though, because that's childish as hell and seems like something a gamergater would resort to.

For real: you have said directly to me multiple times that you were a retro gamer. Sorry I assumed that was the truth.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

Even if that were true -- and I'm sure you're furiously digging up the links to prove it -- that doesn't magically mean I don't play modern games. So you made a stupid assumption and decided to talk down to me about it.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

No, I really don't care enough to dig up links to prove you called yourself a retro gamer.

It doesn't matter.

An assumption isn't "stupid" if it's based on what you've told me. I don't go around reading all the comments on all the threads, so I have no way of knowing that you play a specific percentage of AAA titles or whatever else you think I should be aware of... I frankly don't have the time.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

So basically I am telling you I did not tell you I was a retro gamer (because I am not) and you're sitting there telling me "YES U DID" but can't come up with receipts. Okay then. Let's just pretend we haven't actually discussed newer games on several occasions.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[ariakas]

I don't actually think they were bugs, I think they were spectacularly bad programming and design decisions that could have won the Derp of the Year Award.

But everyone forgives it that because the story gave them feels.

Also I hear the MP is good but I've never played it.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

The non-functioning prompts is definitely a bug, tho. Otherwise they wouldn't have just randomly decided to work half the time.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[ariakas]

Every time I think of what a diseased, festering pile of excrement the stealth in that game was, I remember how good it was in Metro 2033/Last Light. IA with Yahtzee: gold-fucking-standard right there. And I think I played the two games too close together to have anything but the worst disdain for TLOU shitting the best when MLL succeeded so brilliantly.

MLL: clear distinction between when you will be heard or seen and when you won't be, which works the same way in every sequence, with hazards you can use to minimize/increase your risk in a predictable fashion. Takedown prompts work 100% of the time when timed correctly.

TLOU: JOEL'S CROUCHED DOWN BEHIND A BOX 1/3 HIS SIZE THREE FEET FROM AN ENEMY BUT HE ~CAN'T BE SEEN~. Next sequence: JOEL IS HALFWAY ACROSS THE MAP BEHIND A SOLID BRICK WALL, TAKES A SINGLE STEP FORWARD AND OH NO~~ THE SAME HUMAN ENEMY SPOTS HIM!!! And, like, you can walk ten feet away from this fungus zombie but only five from this one, but this one spots you no matter what because ~~~~~~drama~~~~~~~. Want to use a takedown? Roll them dice, fucker.

There was a vague sexual threat in there at some point though so it was gritty and real. I do have to give it that.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

Hnnnngh. Metro's stealth was so good that not only did I actually go through the entire game with an (almost) no-kill playthrough, I had FUN doing it.

Compared to that, TLoU's stealth gameplay was straight garbage served on a pile of shit and perfumed with a fart.

And ...I've complained about the ending enough that I won't get too much into it again but... Fuck. At least make it a real dilemma that actually might occur ever in existence. You can't bullshit a neuroscience major on this, guys. You just can't.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

Stealth bad in TLOU, good in M2033 (let alone "gold standard"!)

biggest lmao in the world

(it's better in MLL tho)

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

We were talking about Last Light. I never finished 2033.

But still, if you count Yahtzee's opinion it's 3 against 1 here.

Metro stealth >>>>>>> TLoU stealth.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

Ari specifically mentioned 2033 and called the stealth in the series the gold standard, which is unbelievably wrong.

(It's Thief, but that's neither here or there.)

And of course you never finished 2033, because if you had you'd know how bad the stealth is. I dare you to do the Reds and Nazi levels in Metro 2033 stealthily. I fucking dare you.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

Well... in her defense she's also posting from a phone, so.

In the context of what we've both played and the Zero Punctuation video she's referring to, I'm pretty sure she was actually talking about M:LL.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[ariakas]

I was - as I stated - quoting Yahtzee, who called MLL's stealth the "gold standard" by which other stealth games should be judged. I am posting from a phone and missed a word, but it should be clear since I specifically mention MLL as "brilliant" and not M2033, and make direct comparisons between MLL and TLOU, and not M2033, which one I mean.

So you're deliberately misreading it or you're dense as a sack of hammers.

I dare you to do the Reds and Nazi levels in Metro 2033 stealthily. I fucking dare you.

I did. On Ranger Hardcore. Ask Herp: I finished that game with every military grade bullet I picked up firmly in my own possession.

Why? Because the stealth was reliable and once you knew what you were doing it worked very, very well. It wasn't as good as MLL's, no, but TLOU's was a thousand times worse.

Honestly if quibbling a single poorly worded sentence is all you've got to defend your shitty game by, go to bed and I promise you your TLOU fanboy butthurt will feel better in the morning.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[ariakas]

I - and Yahtzee - were referring MLL. Which is what came out close to TLOU, so that goes without saying?

Reading is hard.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

So I hallucinated you mentioning Metro 2033? Okay then.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[ariakas]

No you just ignored literally everything else I wrote, like "MLL succeeded so brilliantly" as opposed to "M2033 succeeded so brilliantly" and the direct comparison between "MLL" and "TLOU" and not "M2033" and "TLOU."

M2033's stealth was still better than TLOU's, though.

But since you're reduced to deliberately misreading comments here I can only assume you're more or less finished defending the flaming trainwreck that was TLOU's Greek travesty of gameplay.

I get it man, the story gave you feels. I do. Many people awarded it GotY for that. The game itself was shit-tier. Also, fungus zombies were all the rage there for a while because they're... not virus or voodoo zombies, I guess.

*Disclaimer: apparently the MP is good. I have never played it.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[ariakas]

Look, they need all of baby Jesus allegory's blood, ok.

No, I don't care that there's not enough blood inside a single person to transfuse everyone in the world. That's just how much they need.

No, they can't just take enough that it won't kill him and then feed him some cookies and take the rest in a couple of days.

For... reasons you stupid ingrate shut your mouth and enjoy your parable.

~~~~Joel~~~~~

The story ends with Joel turning around gruffly to manfully face the sunset beardfully, and Ellie shoots him in the back of the head.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

The ENTIRE brain or no brain at all! What is a spinal tap? What is a biopsy?

These things do not exist in funguszombieland!!

Once Ellie shoots Joel in the back of the head she then turns and walks back to the hospital to propose a radical new procedure which revolutionizes medicine forever, with the startling realization that you only need to take a tiny, tiny sample of cerebrospinal fluid to check for foreign bodies.