[ SECRET POST #4042 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4042 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Louisa May Alcott, Eight Cousins]


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03.
[Jojo's Bizarre Adventure]


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04.
[Mickey Rourke (and Kim Basinger even though the secret's not about her)]


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05.
[Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero]


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06.
[Welcome to the Ballroom]


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07.
[Crazy Ex Girlfriend]











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 44 secrets from Secret Submission Post #579.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. https://i.imgur.com/3E3BHYH.png

[(Anonymous)]

Hate any trope you want.

But this one exists because it's a real thing that happens. That biological clock 'ticking' actually is something women experience. That doesn't mean they have kids, or should have kids, or that anyone watching should think they should have kids, but yes, this happens to REAL PEOPLE. Media will, naturally, mostly be about real experiences (dramatized to be more interesting, of course).

And not all women experience it, either. But it's a common trope because it's a common experience.

[(Anonymous)]

People who don't want kids are common too, but we rarely see them or their perspective portrayed.

I think OP's problem is with how common 'babies now!' is compared to the alternative, not that biological clock stories exist at all.

[(Anonymous)]

OP never says that the whole biological clock thing isn't real, though. It's weird because your whole reply sounds like an attempt to rebut a statement that was never made in the secret.

[(Anonymous)]

This is my thought, too. I agree that it'd be great to see more female characters childless and happy about it. But it's also overwhelmingly normal to want to settle down and/or have kids, and it's also normal that you come to feel this way even after experiencing your youth without wanting that. I don't think it's a statement or anything, just people experiencing life the way, well, most people do.

I'm also wondering what OP means by "characters who express no desire to have kids". I would get being irritated if a character strongly talks about how she doesn't want to have kids and her decision should be respected, and then goes baby crazy later on. But I wouldn't expect to see a scene with a character just talking about how one day they would like kids as a foundation for them wanting them later.

[(Anonymous)]

Not everyone has children or wants to have children. That's a pretty common experience, yet media which is mostly about "real experiences" seems to skew in favor of "women who want babies" storylines. I'm pretty sure that's the point the secret is making, and not "I hate this trope because it's not common" or "I don't think this is a common experience". Like... OP isn't saying either of those things? At all? I guess I'm confused about why you seem to be stuck on that point when it doesn't seem relevant. I see from the thread that I'm not the only one who's picked up on that discrepancy, either.

[(Anonymous)]

Isn’t this a repeat?

[(Anonymous)]

Radio 4s "the archers" has male couple desperately wanting a baby

It is just as icky.

[(Anonymous)]

Co-fucking-signed. Especially when the character never had any previous interest in having kids. Extra hatred when the narrative supports the notion that having a baby makes her a better person.

[(Anonymous)]

I can see why that bugs you, and I agree that we need more female characters who don't want kids, don't have kids, and are cool with that. Just like we need more characters who decide to start families later in life, instead of in their 20s. Though I don't think a character has to "express" that they want kids on screen first in order to make it perfectly believable that they might want to have kids at a later point in time.

[(Anonymous)]

I hate this too, especially if part of the reason the woman doesn't want babies is because she doesn't want to sacrifice her time, body, and/or career for it. The man will inevitably say that he'll do double parental duty, but the post-baby episodes will still have the husband being a manchild and his wife trying to juggle everything at once while nagging her husband to grow up.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think this is as common as you're presenting it to be. It seems like of the TV characters who start out childless, the majority will remain so. Just because a lot of TV doesn't want to introduce unnecessary big changes. New parents are boring, they're probably underrepresented on most shows set in the workplace...

[(Anonymous)]

"Previously had no desire" as in actually said they didn't want kids or "previously had no desire" as in didn't express an opinion/said they were not sure if they wanted kids or not/the subject never came up and you were projecting onto the character?

Because otherwise, yes.

[(Anonymous)]

I've heard this a lot lately in comments on FS, and I don't get it. In the shows I watch, this trope doesn't pop up frequently.

Also, I'm a fortysomething with no kids and no intention to have kids, and I'm fine with that decision and don't feel pressured, least of all by media. You could try taking some responsibility for your own emotions rather than feeling upset if your life doesn't resemble a TV show. You could also try not giving a rat's ass about what any asshole is "pressuring" you to think or do. You might find life is a little more pleasant that way, rather than expecting everyone else around you to change.

[soldatsasha]

I used to hate this trope because I was 100% certain I would never ever want children (and I still do hate it to some extent depending on how it's handled), but the older I've gotten the more tolerable it gets especially as I'm now experiencing it myself.

It's a very relatable trope for a lot of people, and I suspect especially so for older people. Even if they don't ever deal with that whole biological clock thing, plenty of people have some sort of equivalent midlife crisis when they realize that they've changed over time and spent decades building one life when ultimately they wound up wanting another. It's really easy to say that you never want kids or you want to focus on your career when you're a teenager or twenty-something, but dealing with regret about it decades later is hard and often painful. Having kids and not having kids are both decisions that can't be undone after a certain point.

[(Anonymous)]

We obviously don't watch the same shows because I've never seen this storyline.

But in books I've found it's fairly common for a man to find out he has a long-lost son. It's a fairly similar trope, if you think about it.

[(Anonymous)]

Those are some judgemental-looking babies. Good work, OP.

[philstar22]

I completely agree, OP. I hate this trope too.

[cakemage]

I hate this trope too, OP, and I think it's a big part of the reason Scrubs started to suck so much in later seasons. Elliot starts out not wanting children at all and is even more creeped out by them than I am, but then suddenly she's so baby-crazy that she makes her boyfriend wear a diaper. Carla and Jordan having kids I didn't mind, 'cause Carla's always wanted them and Jordan is just friggin' hilarious as a mom. "Oh, he also thanked us for not naming him BRANTLEY."

I'm told that this is part of the reason Bones started to suck, too, but honestly I wouldn't really know, given that I stopped watching mid-S1 because I couldn't stand Booth.

[(Anonymous)]

Tbh I dislike it because a lot of the shows I can think of that did this, particularly anything that isn't a family sitcom, will do the whole 'woman now has babies on the brain' thing with pregnancy and babies babies babies...and then the kid will actually be born and be constantly shoved offscreen and barely mentioned. Like why even do this if the baby becomes basically nonexistent after being born? If you're gonna commit to a storyline then follow through on it at least.

[(Anonymous)]

Most of the times that I've seen this that I can think of was because the actress became pregnant so, um, blame reality?

[(Anonymous)]

yes! I especially hate it in romance stories, though. Like, it's not a happy ending if the woman who didn't want kids is knocked up!! Blagh.

[supermanda]

I almost always drop a series once a baby becomes involved. If It wasn't part of the original plot (like Gilmore Girls or something) then I'm just not hfi. I have zero interest in kids, nor have I ever had any, and I never will.

[(Anonymous)]

Personally, I love kids irl (without wanting to have my own, which according to the biological clock proponents is impossible - legit saw a discussion recently about how being around babies releases 'hormones' encouraging broodiness; which seemed...implausible, to say the least.) but even without the predictability of 'career woman tamed by nature!'; I've gotta say, babies are absolutely terrible in terms of dramatic storytelling.

[(Anonymous)]

How do you potray "I DON'T want kids, right NOW"? If they don't want kids, it's just never going to come up. I mean sure they could purposely write a whole story including children to elaborately talk about how the character doesn't want kids, but...I mean, does anyone really want that. If you don't like kids, you're already gonna be annoyed when kids appear, even if it's about not wanting kids the whole plotline is gonna seem awkward and annoying. And if you do like kids, having a whole story talking about how the character doesn't like kids is gonna be annoying as well.