[ SECRET POST #4268 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4268 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #611.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. https://i.imgur.com/ubdrVVj.png

[(Anonymous)]

I don't have a problem with talking shit about the dead, if it's the right situation and it's deserved.

This is a deeply, deeply shitty reason to do so. It's not a reasonable justification. It's bad.

[supermanda]

+1

[(Anonymous)]

How is being critical of self-destructive behavior in an erst-while role model "deeply shitty"?

[(Anonymous)]

Bullshit. What is bad about calling out drug users who talk about how awesome drugs are?

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes. Agreed.

[(Anonymous)]

If someone's dead because they're a shitty person and made bad *choices*....then obviously me or people that I love are not shitty people and we do not make bad choices, so we are SAFE from ever having to worry about this.
so
I'm better than you and I'm going to live forever.
(empathy comes from understanding that no one gets out of here alive)

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Syntax error, can not parse.

[(Anonymous)]

+1000%

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like this secret is about Carrie Fisher and it's making me quite sad.

Op

[(Anonymous)]

No. It is about a rapper that died recently.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

I feel like a lot of "shame" stuff comes directly from war-on-drugs attitudes, which has been really shitty for the people who both want and need addiction recovery and treatment.

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, OP, you're the asshole.

[(Anonymous)]

On one of our local radio stations, the Amy Winehouse song they play the most is Rehab and I can't help thinking "Well look what it got you." every time it plays.

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, sorry. Anyone who shit talks the dead is scum in my books. They aren't gonna learn any lessons after they are dead. They can only be used as a cautionary lesson to others on the dangers of drugs, but to kick someone has already paid the ultimate price is just a waste of time and makes you look like a shitty person.

You sure as hell aren't perfect so, even if it's not drugs, there is something in your lifestyle others could criticize. Now imagine people were saying judge-y stuff about you or a family member? If you aren't okay with that, then don't do it to others.

[(Anonymous)]

It's called having empathy, and showing respect for human life.

I don't have a very high opinion of anyone who bashes or harshly criticizes anyone newly dead, especially when the grief their loved ones and fans are feeling is pretty fresh. I would, however, make an exception for anyone that the deceased personally fucked over, if venting publicly is the only way the fucked over party can keep from going crazy. And don't misunderstand; even if that isn't the case, there is a way to be truthful without being so disrespectful or obnoxiously sanctimonious about it. You should look into it sometime.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel sad he died and I wish he had been able to get the professional help he needed, and I'm sympathetic because I've had relatives who have almost OD'd and I understand getting clean is a long, hard process, but at the end of the day, he is the one who killed himself, intentionally or not

[(Anonymous)]

I have no sympathy for people who get a proper education and still turn to things like meth and heroin. Most addicts I know straight up know its bad. Even the ones who went to shitty schools and grew up in shitty areas who started doing drugs at 14. Addicts don't want empathy. They don't want people to feel bad for them. They want one of two things more of the good stuff or to get better

Addicts don't have sympathy for themselves so why the fuck should I feel bad for them? I'd rather they'd get the help rather than punish them but fuck me if you think I'd ever feel sorry for an addict.

[(Anonymous)]

It's like that POS youtuber who decided to kill himself by going the wrong way on the freeway. He killed a mother and her child in the process of killing himself. FUCK HIM.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not about to get into the middle of the ongoing back and forth of what is shitty about addiction and drugs, but I did want to add:

Get that kitty off of that rail! It looks too high up! She will fall and die! Coax her off gently! Maybe with some tuna treats!

[digitalghosts]

I agree with the first one as we should be able to criticise anyone as people die but those whom they affected might still be alive.

The other one? OP, am afraid even those glamourising addiction would not do it sober and when able to think logically. Addiction is not something you switch off ... ever ... even with the substances gone - your brain refocuses on something else (be it healthy or not) and it takes a lot of effort to keep it from obsessing. Want to know how I got addicted? My family has such history so I hated booze with passion of thousand suns but that hate never vanished and was always active which focused me on the topic.

This is why when I drank, I could not do it socially and it became a specific routine - my brain went into a loop of: 'I am thinking about booze and hating it.' -> 'I need to give my brain a signal to go into not working mode and it is by having a drink' -> If not I will keep thinking about booze and hating myself for it' -> 'Oh, I drank, now I will be better for an hour and wind down' -> 'I now hate booze and myself 100x more'. So it became a cycle that I could not stop. I am sober now but this cycle is still there and I replaced it with 'not eating'.

Tldr; Addiction sucks and is a brain pattern which keeps existing without any substance.

P.S Sources for the whole mechanism of addiction can be different: could be unmanaged mental illness, genes, surroundings, sudden change or fuck knows. With me it was bipolar while with my mum it was moving to other country in pre-internet era. Both of us observed our parent dealing with addiction (and actually going sober).

P.S.2 Needles waffling is needles but John Cheese's articles on Cracked helped me so ... a silly comment might help someone.

[dahli]

Is this about that rapper guy and Ariana Grande's ex and how people assholes on twitter where blaming her for his dead? I don't like Ariana Grande's songs but FUUUUUUUCK THOSE PEOPLE.

I can't really say that they are assholes since addictions in general are complicated themselves. Some are caused by depression, escaping reality, your own body asking for it, etc. It's a really complex thing and really hard to get out from. It gets to the point where the addiction takes over and consumes their entire lives.

I do agree that drug use is very glamorized by artists and singers, though. How many times have I heard a song that turns out to be secretly about drugs?

[(Anonymous)]

People are responsible for their choices and behavior. However, addiction is a disease. Are people responsible for getting to rehab and developing coping mechanisms to not be on drugs/alcohol/whatever anymore? Yes. HOWEVER, it's not as simple to employ those coping skills and obtain support they need.

Maybe some famous people "glamorize" drugs. But the majority of people who abuse drugs and alcohol do not. Also, being a celebrity with money doesn't always solve the problem or make it easier to stay sober. Who said celebrities are supposed to be perfect role models all the time? They're human and completely flawed like anyone else. Not everyone can be inspiration porn or a good example to others.

My point is: it's not this simple. Not every addict is an asshole. Many make really bad choices but are also regular people who are genuinely ill. There are socioeconomic factors at work, as are genetics, and co-morbid medical conditions. Calling someone out after they're dead? What does that do? Who does that help? How?

No, while abusive people and those who make bad choices are responsible for those choices, addiction needs to be met with compassion. People need support to make good choices. In most people's cases, they need help getting out of poverty and/or mental health care. Addicts are normal people most of the time who have a medical problem. Don't be cruel.

[(Anonymous)]

I think that when people die of over doses, addiction, suicide, reckless behavior and the like, those things should be spoken of negatively. I was listening to something on the radio shortly after Anthony Bordain killed himself where they said that celebrity suicides can precipitate additional suicides, but this tends to be less common when the celebrity suicide is spoken of in negative terms. An example given was Kurt Cobain, whose suicide did not appear to trigger a rash of other suicides and this is attributed to Courtney Love speaking publicly about his suicide in negative terms. Note: negative does not necessarily mean angry (although that's okay) or disparaging. It could mean being clearly sad and heartbroken.

That said, there's a difference between speaking negatively about the manner of a person's death and speaking negatively about the person and who they were in life. It may be a difficult line to walk sometimes, but it's possible to do it.