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[ SECRET POST #5756 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5756 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 52 secrets from Secret Submission Post #824.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Any secrets you want to share, that are not fandom related?

I had an affair with a married man (20 years ago).

I'm not going to say anything more about it.

I had a thing with my teacher (also married).

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-09 22:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 03:11 (UTC) - Expand

I'm not going to say anything more about it.

well, OK then

Same, and he was 25 years older than me.

I knew we'd never be together outside of our intense fling, but he's still my long-term deepest and strongest most passionate love.

Hey ho.

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-09 22:21 (UTC) - Expand

what?

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-09 23:24 (UTC) - Expand

I'm aroace but as a neglected child making friends with other neglected kids, I lived vicariously through my friends and one of my HS friends told me about how she hooked up with truckers and a married man during our teen years.

Her younger sister began dating their down stairs neighbor...who was in his 20s at the time. Apparently, they're still dating almost 20 years later.

This may be a tiny thing in comparison, but apparently shortly before getting married I got blackout drunk and gave someone a peck. I still feel really guilty about it cause we're very strongly monogamous and it's not something I would do either drunk or sober or under any condition really, I can't even understand why it happened that day nor remember anything about it (went blackout way before and afterwards it seems). It wasn't even a makeout or anything, and I love my spouse more than anyone in this world so I still feel awful. I'm afraid to bring it up to anyone irl or online.

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 00:16 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 01:14 (UTC) - Expand

Wow, you shagged Prince Charles too? Dude got around.

I often feel like I don't really have that much in common with my IRL friends but I genuinely have no idea how to find and meet people who I would have things in common with and I fear that such people don't really exist

I barely have any IRL friends, for this reason. I know such people exist because I've made friends via the internet over the years, but no one who lives anywhere remotely near me.

I can relate to a lot of this. In my case, I do meet people who share my interests...but it's online, and they don't live anywhere near me :/.

I had friends over today and one complimented me on how nice and orderly my flat always is and how she wishes she could keep her own flat as tidy.

The thing is, I have such a high tolerance for dirt that 99% of the time I live in such filth that no one would want to set foot in my flat. I have no sense of what a normal/acceptable level of mess is. I refuse to invite unannounced guests in for this reason.

When I know people are coming I basically spend the week before cleaning my flat until everything is spotless and freshly laundered. But this doesn't last. By this time next week I'll have several days worth of unwashed dishes in the sink, freshly laundered clothes lying on the couch because I can't be bothered to put them away and not have once wiped down my dining table even though I know that now that my flat is already clean, it wouldn't really take much time week to week to keep it that way. I just don't do it.

I feel this so hard lol

I've gotten a little better about it in the past 6 months or so but that's really because my standards for cleanliness my whole life have been so low that even the most minor effort is a huge improvement. It just feels like it would take so much effort to keep my apartment actually fully truly clean all the time. And then if I'm not going to put the effort in to keep it actually clean, what's the point of putting effort in to make it look slightly less uninhabitable if I'm the only one who has to live there anyway.

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-09 22:10 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 08:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-09 22:20 (UTC) - Expand

I haven't taken an actual bath or shower in about 4 months.

I stopped bothering during the Covid lockdowns, and found just using deodorant works fine on any smell. I'm just too depressed to fucking bother, it feels like so much effort, and I barely go anywhere except the local store anyway.

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-09 22:05 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-09 22:13 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 01:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 18:06 (UTC) - Expand

I want to date my friend’s ex-husband.

I won’t, but I want to.

I witnessed intimate partner violence on a train two summers ago. It was pretty severe (a lot of profanity, kicking, etc.), and I was the only person brave enough to alert the train crew. Thankfully, the train crew had both people separated and removed from the train. Still, it haunts me, especially since outside of therapy I haven't talked much about. Unfortunately, I have so many other things I'm also working to address in said therapy work (like living in the middle of a citywide riot a month and a half before witnessing the assault).

Re: Non-fandom secrets! [Content warning for assault]

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-09 22:52 (UTC) - Expand

My last single friend just got married and it made me feel weirdly lonely. I don’t mind being single, but I wish I had a special someone. Not a boyfriend really, but just a platonic best friend who I could live with and share my life with.

I'm flipflopping between being depressed and lonely lately. I'm not usually fussed by being by myself or single but I would like a platonic friend just to cuddle and watch movies and play games with. whether we smooch or not is up to them

Ever since that secret about blackhead extraction videos this summer, I've gotten addicted to them too. Never would have thought to look at them if there weren't so many comments enthusing about them. Thanks FS!

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 01:07 (UTC) - Expand

I used to live close to my parents and visited them several times a month. I moved away to a new job shortly before the pandemic hit, and haven't seen them in person since. And I feel weird about the fact that that's more than fine with me? We still talk on Zoom and I'd rather keep doing that than go visit them for the holidays even though I could, now. I don't want to pay for a plane ticket and I don't want to spend the energy to travel. It's not like I don't get along with my parents, so I don't know whether my reluctance is normal or if I'm just selfish and ungrateful for no reason.

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 03:06 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 19:18 (UTC) - Expand

I have it good. But if it weren't for the people in my life I would be looking at a trip to one of those clinics in Switzerland. It's been one thing after another bad luck after ill health after bad luck after ill health for ten years now. Honestly I can't take it anymore. I live in constant terror of what's coming next. Perhaps one of the worst things about it is that my friends cannot understand my experience at all and think I should just think positive.

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 05:14 (UTC) - Expand

Recently I started becoming more romantically involved with a guy I've been friends with for a few years. However, we live in different states and we met online. He's been so supportive of me and neither of us want to risk losing a potentially good relationship down the line despite the risks. He's really handsome, but is very shy. This is a secret because we're still getting to know each other on a more personal level and it may become complicated once our mutual friends find out if we ever become an official item. We're both single, but I'm hopeful that this will work out. He's planning on making a trip to visit me next year, so I'm hoping things will continue to be as good as they are now. We give each other downtime and are slowly spending more time together, rather than rushing. It just feels right and I am over-the-moon happy.

If I had enough of an independent income where I could support myself comfortably as I'd like, I'd get a divorce. I'm not in an abusive relationship and my husband isn't an awful person. He's just not very good at being a good partner and while he's trying, I'm tired of waiting for him to get better at this. I want a two bedroom apartment with light and plants and my books. I want to cook only for myself and clean up only after myself, and I don't want to have a give a shit about someone else's needs and feelings before my own.

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 04:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

tabaqui - 2022-10-10 04:56 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 06:27 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 08:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 12:46 (UTC) - Expand

As a toddler, I was left with my aunt who would babysit while my parents worked.

Her husband was a drunk, and she was a nutcase, so she tried attachment therapy on me so I'd be her daughter mentally. She would get her husband (who was very fat, probably 18 stone or so? He hit 20 when I was a teen but didn't look too much different from old photos) to lie on top of me until I stopped screaming, and do this whole control thing with whether or not I was allowed to speak or if I was being given the silent treatment instead, so I'd learn that all communication was on her terms. Among other things, but those stand out.

I've never told my parents, mostly because I don't want to deal with comforting them as they deal with it themselves.

(Sorry it's so dark!! I am genuinely fine now.)

Re: Non-fandom secrets!

(Anonymous) - 2022-10-10 15:54 (UTC) - Expand

There are a lot of people I desperately wish would just fuck off, right now.

Okay, maybe not that many, but there is definitely a list.

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