[ SECRET POST #939 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #939 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 17 pages, 403 secrets from Secret Submission Post #135.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 4 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - doing it wrong ], [ 1 - "how the hell is this doing it wrong?" ], [ 1 2 - empty comment ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

158. http://i32.tinypic.com/311l69u.jpg

[bandazgeek.livejournal.com]

This secret literally almost made me cry. =C

[ishosophy.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry, I really don't know what to say beyond that. It must've taken a lot to make this secret.

Really, when you think the time is right, it might be best to tell the ones in your fandom you're especially close with.

[atom-bunny.livejournal.com]

Oh wow... this is such a sad secret..

I don't know who you are, but my thoughts are still with you. ((Hugs))

[haunter]

everyone is dying.

[vida-boheme.livejournal.com]

It's hard to talk about your illness - especially when nutters who pretend to be ill/die make everyone a little suspicious of those of us who are genuinely ill. Do what feels right for you now, but don't be scared to change your mind later, or confide in one person you are close to in fandom.

It's hard when you discover a fandom friend has passed - especially if it's months later. If you really can't share, then maybe arrange for someone to tell your frends after you go? That would be the kindest thing.

Take care and I wish you every peace in the time ahead ♥

[yukitheawesome.livejournal.com]

Honey… :(

If they're anything like my fandom friends, they care about you. They'll want to know.

God, just writing this comment made me tear up… I'm so sorry. *hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so sorry ♥

[tinitrinity.livejournal.com]

my heart hurts after this secret. I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what you must be going through and how hard it must have been to write this secret. I'm sure that when you're ready you'll fandom friends will be there for you.

[hooves.livejournal.com]

This secret really hits hard. I remember, once, seeing something in someone's profile on Fanfiction.net. They'd died in an automobile accident, and their brother had posted of their passing in their profile.

Hon, please make sure you tell someone who can tell your fandom friends, later. They'll worry about you, and it's better that they know. Fandom friends are still your friends, you know. I'm sure they'd want to be there for you every step of the way.

[(Anonymous)]

Please, tell them.

I recently had a fandom friend die. I'm not sure about any of the details, But it was completely unexpected, and came as a complete shock to me. I didn't even find out until about a month later. This wasn't just someone who I lurked on the page of for the fanworks, and to get comments from. This was someone I actually cared about as a friend outside of fandom (Even though I only met her in person once) and felt I could actually talk to about personal issues.

Sorry if I rambled a bit off topic, but whether the people your "fandom friends" are simply fans of your work, or people who can actually be considered friends (even just online) who you happen to share fandom with as well, they should know the truth. I would not have wanted to be kept in the dark much longer about my friend's death, and I don't think your friends should be left unknowing, either.

[zealmightyspork.livejournal.com]

If you're a troll, you're fucking disgusting.

If you're serious, then I'm so, so sorry. I know that can't really mean a lot, but still. Can you try to tell the friends you're close to when the time is right? I know it would be difficult, to say the least, but I'd be devastated if someone I cared about disappeared, only to find out months later that they passed away.

And if nothing else, like someone up there said, ask someone else to inform them of what happened, afterwards?

But I'm sure that your friends--cause fandom friend or not, they're still friends--would want to know, and give you what little support that they can.

Good luck with whatever you decide ♥

[mrsvc.livejournal.com]

-hugs-
&hearts

[happythree.livejournal.com]

My best friend was in a comparable (though definitely not identical) situation recently, and going off what I learned from her about loss and people who are separate from the more personal aspects (though still significant) parts of your life, I might understand why you wouldn't want to tell -- if you think your telling would remove an atmosphere of normality and lightheartedness that you can find in fandom then I could see why you wouldn't want to tell, but if it's because you think that people don't care so you might as well not bother... Going purely off personal feelings about the people I encounter in fandom, I really doubt that is the case. But as for your question about which is better, it is really hard to say. Is it even a question of 'better' or is it a question of which impression you wish to leave?

[(Anonymous)]

If you vanish without explanation, you might get thought of as a traitor! It drives a lot of people(such as myself) crazy when members ditch. The truth won't only set you free, it'll keep your community's memory of you clean.

Be easy. Stay comfortable.

[iceberry]

Oh anon, I'm so incredibly sorry.

I would recommend telling your fandom friends this, though, if you're close to them. I mean, fandom friends are still friends, right?

/hugs, though. 8(

[et-noika.livejournal.com]

You're dying man.

What have you got to lose?

[sarajayechan.livejournal.com]

...dude, tell them. If you're really dying they deserve to know so it doesn't come as a horrifying shock when they find out you're dead a few years down the line. Better to be honest about that stuff.

(I just hope it's not someone on MY flist, god :[ )

[xekstrin.livejournal.com]

I think if they're your real friends you should tell them, or at least leave a way for them to know you are gone.

[lule-bell.livejournal.com]

That really makes me sad. I'm sorry to hear that you're dying but if one of my fandom friends left, never to be heard from again, I would always wonder what happened to them. It's up to you if you want to tell your friends or not but if I was your friend, I'd want to be there for you and to know when it happens so I don't wonder what might have happened. <3

[we-are-zombies.livejournal.com]

I suppose that you just 'leaving' may seem kinder, but honestly, if one of my fandom friends was dying, I'd want to know. It would be sad, but I think that a lot of people would prefer the opportunity to appreciate and say their goodbyes to you before you go. We take people being around for granted too often. It hurts to see someone pass without being able to say what should have been said.
I have no idea how you could go about saying this -- I wish you didn't have to think about it at all. :(

[jiggawha.livejournal.com]

What a terrible secret :( Please tell your close fandom friends! They deserve to know AND they can probably be a great support for you if they're anything like my fandom friends.

Honestly there are some sick fuckers who 'die' then reappear as someone else just to get their sick fucking jollies off the wank. If this is you then fuck right off and die in a fire! If it's not then you won't want people thinking that you are and PLEASE tell your friends.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

I'm with the folks that say tell someone. And since you're on LJ, look and see if there's a comm for your disease too, where you can unload some of the stress on people who WILL understand. (I'm in a thyroid comm, myself, and I don't think I'd have made it through the cancer treatments without them to talk to.)

Just fading away from the fandom might seem like a good option, but while it lets you dodge the suspicious jerks who think that you're faking, it also costs you the support you'd get from the folks who know you aren't. And, eventually, it robs them of knowing how you are. (I have people I still wonder about, several years down the road, but have had no contact with.) If you're chary, just ask if anyone knows about hospices and say it's for a school report or something and see if you can find a person on your flist who can cope with the knowledge supportively. They might surprise you.

[thene]

A few years ago I went through a pseuicide hoax in fandom. It was one of the most emotionally painful things that's ever happened to me, and it's affected everything I do online since. Mostly, it's made me a better, less innocent friend in the 'I love you and trust you even though I don't know you IRL and you might royally fuck my over one day' kinda way.

If you tell someone, then if that someone is remotely rational they will entertain the notion that you're lying. But I hope you do it anyway; just have scads of evidence - scans of prescriptions/doctors notes etc, put some close (or perhaps geographically close) fandom friends in touch with your family and IRL close friends, spread the net, be prepared to get a lot of mud slung at you by anyone in fandom who has any grievance against you. And this is morbid to say, but when you do die please make sure your family/IRL friends don't tell the internets until there's an obit or some other independent evidence of your death available either online or in the local print-press.

The reason I hope you do it is that for all I know, you're one of my fandom friends and I would want to know.

Peace.

[mimes.livejournal.com]

ladfjlksd
OP, i promise that there isn't anyone who wouldn't want to say goodbye to you. Even if you just leave, they might find out what really happened later. Then to know that they didn't get to say anything will hurt.

Just. .. I don't know. I'm so sorry. ♥♥♥