[ SECRET POST #1847 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1847 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: pages, secrets from Secret Submission Post #.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

03. http://i.imgur.com/iKWVY.jpg

[dethtoll.livejournal.com]

all i can really say is nikki minaj NAILED that shot

[micromyni.livejournal.com]

It's not like fantasizing is wrong or anything. :/ The ONLY time when the perving annoys me is when it's in a serious discussion thread. There's a time and a place for that kind of thing, for BOTH genders. Perving is perving.

[(Anonymous)]

It looks like those two guys on the left are fucking! LOL

[countess-k.livejournal.com]

In RL both are wrong, doesn't matter who is ogling whom.

However in fantasy I agree that there is more lenience towards women ogling men than the other way around. It's not a double standard per say. It's mainly because it happens less in real life and with fewer tragic consequences, and there's less a history of "female gaze" than there is for "male gaze" hence the higher tolerance for women to be sleazy voyeurs over celebrities.

[violence4.livejournal.com]

Okay, first of all, your choice of image for this secret really made me giggle, so well done on that :)

Second of all, I don't think there's anything wrong with men privately talking about women (or men) they don't know that they find attractive.The problem isn't that they have those thoughts or that they voice them to their friends. What I DO think is the problem is when men think it's appropriate to make those comments TO women they don't know; that some men seem to think they can just say anything they like to any random woman they see.

Now of course I'm aware that there are many examples of fangirls saying deeply inappropriate things irl to male celebrities and I think that's as wrong as a man harrassing a woman in the street. But you can't seriously believe it's wrong for people to have sexual fantasies, and talking about those fantasies with friends, whoever you are, is just voicing those fantasies to like-minded people in a safe environment. It's something a lot of people not only want but need to do, it's sexual exploration, etc. And as long as everyone remembers it's just a fantasy and should never go near the person/people who it's about, I don't see any issue.

tl;dr a bit there.

[jolty.livejournal.com]

This was my exact reaction when visiting Michael Fassbender's IMDb (lol) forum for the first time. Seriously, I don't need to know that you're bringing your vibrator to his next movie.

[(Anonymous)]

This is exactly why I am so pissed off about people obsessing over Fassbender's penis.

[childings.livejournal.com]

It doesn't bother me either way to be honest, unless the comments about female characters/celebrities border on rape talk or something (you don't see as many rape-y comments from women as you do men, but those bother me too)

[(Anonymous)]

Meh, fandom and with your group of friends I don't really care, saying it in real life to someone however is going to far.

[(Anonymous)]

Women are forced to deal with being treated like a sexualised object for pretty much their entire lives. If you asked women to share their experiences with being heckled in the street or approached by men who made them uncomfortable by commenting on their appearance, you'd be surprised how many experienced this before they hit puberty (and many of those will assure you that there was no way they even looked like they'd hit puberty). A lot of girls are subjected to this treatment before they even understand what sex is.

Yes, two wrongs don't make a right, and I can understand why men being objectified would make you uncomfortable.

But there are many number of places where men are encouraged to objectify women, to the point where it's probably easier to list situations and scenarios where they aren't encouraged to do so. This happens online, sure - there are plenty of female fans of comic books and video games, but they often stay away from forums dedicated to those mediums because those forums are so aggressive in their misogynistic attitudes. But it also happens in the real world. Teenage boys leer at girls in school, bosses discuss the sexual availability of their female employees with male colleagues, men in bars think they have the right to touch women without their consent. This behaviour is constant, and these examples are bearly even beginning to scratch the surface of what a woman can expect on any given day.

In comparison, I can't really get angry at women making those kinds of comments in their corners of their particular fandoms.

[lovelycudy.livejournal.com]

I don't mind. As long as they aren't rape comments and they are not saying in, IDK, a kindergarten classroom, I see nothing wring with women expressing their sexual desire.

[omg-its-gackt.livejournal.com]

I regret nothing & don't feel uncomfortable about it. As long as it stays away from said celebrity. I find it really rude when I see people saying really inappropriate things to them. Besides, it's all fantasy. It's not hurting anyone by discussing with friends or in a thread. & most of what I've seen is jokes or hope so at least .___. crazy stalkers trying to get celebrities attention by being serious about stuff like this is creepy

[enchantedkiss-x.livejournal.com]

This is why the Evan Peters tag on tumblr actually disturbs me :/ When it was his birthday a few days ago and everyone was going on and on about what they wanted to do to him o_0 I'm all for fantasizing about someone (male or female) that you find attractive, but I don't need these things to be publicized in great detail. That goes for all people, regardless of gender or anything else.

It's just uncomfortable all the way around imo

[(Anonymous)]

Okay. If anyone is wondering why men ogling women is more harmful than women ogling men, and it's not a double standard, it's because we live in a society that has pretty much institutionalized a rape culture towards women. I know women who are afraid of walking in some places outside alone because they are genuinely afraid of being catcalled or sexually harassed (me included). I have never known any men who have felt this same threat from women.

I know it's so tempting to say "but what about men?" in sexist arguments, but it's not that simple. I acknowledge that men can be sexually harassed by women, and it's something that should never happen, but men do not face the same sexual objectification and violence from the opposite gender in our society

[lashiec.livejournal.com]

I think it's okay for both genders to do, SO LONG as it doesn't lead to harming someone in any way.

[fairyday.livejournal.com]

Well, you get the problem with it -- like others have said more eloquently, men being like that towards women is practically everyday behaviour etc. -- so I don't think you should feel especially guilty about it, just think of it as an individual squick or something. Hell, it could just be that you're used to women being objectified like that, idk.

[(Anonymous)]

I am extremely uncomfortable when people start talking in detail about anyone's body. I find it really uncomfortable and creepy. And I find it very uncomfortable when women will do this, and then in the next post talk about how guys are awful for doing the same thing.

Part of the reason I dislike it, though, is because I hate the evidence that people pay that much attention to bodies and appearance. The idea of anyone ever looking at or talking about me in that way just creeps me out. The thought makes me want to hide in my house and never come out. Or wear a trench coat and mask everywhere. Or something.

[dragonsofeden.livejournal.com]

It's okay to feel uncomfortable about objectification, just as long as you recognize that others aren't necessarily wrong for enjoying it. Fantasy is only a problem if it starts affecting the way you treat real people (ie, the 'construction worker' effect) or when it takes over fandom discourse to the point where no one can get a word in edgewise.

(In other words, I'd stay away from Tumblr ;)

[la-petite-singe.livejournal.com]

I guess it's kind of a double standard; women are more 'allowed' to do it because we're objectified more in the real world (as opposed to just, like, chatting on Tumblr). But fair point, I guess.

[(Anonymous)]

I actually really agree with this.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Equality doesn't mean "equal rights to be creepy perverts." I can't get too mad at women for this, as they're in a far distant minority compared to men. But I do hope that this gets nipped in the bud. Get rid of it while it's a small thing.

[glamourcorpse.livejournal.com]

The face in the slats is one of the creepier things I have seen in my life. She-CREEEEPER!

[(Anonymous)]

i don't mind "he's really cute" or "he's really hot"

but when i'm in chat or on plurk and someone says "get inside me" or "i would fuck him so hard" in public

politics aside

it's tmi and gross and oversharing

just as gross as "i want to cum all over her tits"

[intrigueing.livejournal.com]

This is gonna sound blunt, but there's nothing wrong, in a purely objective sense, about a man ogling a hot woman. It's the fact that there's centuries and milennia of attitudes that still persist today, which frame it and cannot be escaped from -- objectification, denigration, dismissal, oppression, other-fication, power dynamics -- that makes it gross and offensive to us. Women don't have that kind of history when it comes to ogling men.

Women ogling men is "harmless" in a societal, cultural sense (though that does NOT there aren't disgusting sleazy dangerous women out there too) because there has never been disenfranchisement of men at the hands of women. You can't argue that when a woman ogles and makes those kinds of objectifying comments about men, her ideas are coming from deeply-rooted social ideas about how all men, as a gender, are like or should be like.

See, if I traveled into the 28th century where sexism is long since forgotten and just some weird historical thing that confuses the shit out of everyone, I wouldn't have a problem with men ogling women OR women ogling men.

[greeneyed.livejournal.com]

Idealistically speaking, there's no difference in who makes objectification remarks, however in RL, male gaze privilege matters. Yeah, either is wrong, making general observations who's hot to you is ok, but commenting on body various attributes and rendering them as sexual objects is not fine.