[ SECRET POST #2082 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2082 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.


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03.
[Fate/Zero]


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04.


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]












05. [SPOILERS for Journey Into Mystery/Everything Burns]



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06. [SPOILERS for Avengers]



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07. [SPOILERS for Sweeney Todd]



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08. [SPOILERS]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]














09. [WARNING for depression/suicide]

[Wilby Wonderful (2004)]


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10. [WARNING for abuse]

[True Blood]


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11. [WARNING for rape]



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12. [WARNING for suicide/self-harm]

[Alex Gaskarth/All Time Low]


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13. [WARNING for abuse]



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14. [WARNING for abuse/bullying]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #297.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ],.
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

14. [WARNING for abuse/bullying]
http://i49.tinypic.com/33cn252.png

[(Anonymous)]

So because these videos are not depicting your personal idea of bullying they're not real and is only half done.

I get what you're saying, that bullying can be a lot worse than is shown in these videos, but at the same time I feel like you are trying to belittle and erase the truth that bullying and depression comes in all forms - just like shown in the videos.

[(Anonymous)]

Whereas "Perfect" made me cry, because it hit really really close to home, and I nearly did kill myself over it - and a huge part of the contributing issues were people telling me, at
length, how I was just a drama queen looking for sympathy.

So thanks, the vids aren't necessarily doing it by "halves", and maybe the reason you already feel the hate is because regardless of what you say you "want" to do, you ARE belittling people's lived experiences.

TW: self-harm

[(Anonymous)]

This. All the self-harm I engaged in in my teenage years was purposely invisible because I was so tired of being told I had it easy and had no problems worth complaining about (my depressed and emotionally abusive dad and his hoarding tendencies didn't count because no one saw it, and no one saw it because I didn't have friends to turn to). I spent a couple of years feeling suicidal and cutting myself and sticking myself with pins then covering it up because I didn't think I was ~worthy of feeling that bad.

It's shitty to think that you're the arbiter of what real bullying or real conflict looks like, OP. It's different for everyone.

[insanenoodlyguy]

THEY DON'T PUT RIGHT BULLYING IN MUSIC?

CRY SOME MOAR!

[(Anonymous)]

I'm inclined to agree with you. Everything that happens in those sort of videos just seems to look like, to me, someone just took the most common examples of bullying and just skimmed through a few stories and made up a few scenes and it just makes me cringe from this awful secondhand embarrassment.

[biohazardgirl]

Most people don't know that you can have depression even if your life seems fine to others, though. I mean, yeah on the internet that's common knowledge, but have you ever tried to tell someone you were depressed/had been depressed in real life?

"Did I do something wrong?"
"But you seem so happy!"
"You should cheer up, there are a lot of worse situations you could be in, you know."

And I think a point here is also, if you show someone being depressed but you only ever have them being depressed over, like, attempted murder, then not as many people are going to identify with that, they're going to say "Well, I'm just an awful person and a wimp for not being able to handle what I'm going through when that person has it ten times worse." but if you show a person who, yeah doesn't have it all that bad but is still pretty fucked up, then more people can identify with that and say "My pain is okay, oh god someone else has been there too, this is legitimate."

I don't know. I'd be lying if I said "Fuckin' Perfect" didn't come out at pretty much exactly the same time as a pretty serious mental breakdown I had, so maybe my feelings are too strong about identifying with it and whatever, but that's just my two cents.

I find that video a bit difficult to watch now that I'm mostly better though :/ Triggery video is, uh, triggery.

Edit: If I'm not being all sad about it, this song reminds me of this American Girl Doll Music Video set to the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgEqBQ9R5zg

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, bullying can get a lot uglier than that, but maybe she didn't wanna portray it further? (Could be triggering, after all. idk.) I can do without a more realistic portrayal because I already lived that, thanks.

[(Anonymous)]

IA

[(Anonymous)]

I've never seen these vids, so I don't know if what I'm about to say applies to them, but on the topic of "media depictions of bullying" this is relevant - I fucking hate how media so often depicts the bullying of girls. It's always, always other girls doing it, and usually for superficial reasoning like 'you're ugly/fat/nerdy' while the bullies are stylish/popular/sexy.

Obviously situations like that occur in real life, I'm not saying girls can't be bullies because from lived experience I know they can be. But guys bully girls too! They do the exact same sort of passive aggressive, fake-friendship, cruel as hell shit, to guys and girls, that girls do.

IDK it just pisses me off that so much media buys into the "girls are backstabbing bitches, boys are just outright aggressive" shit when both male and female bullies can pull the same sort of horrible shit, and guys can be horrifically sexually harassing toward girls.

[visp]

Psh, you call that bullying? In my day we had to run 5 miles every day to get away from our bullies! In the snow, uphill both ways! And when we got home at night, our father would murder us in cold blood mind. Aaah!! but then! He’d murders us in cold blood, buries us and dances on our graves singing “yes, sir I can Boogie”.

[(Anonymous)]

A) Not everyone reacts to every kind of bullying in the same way.

B) Some forms of bullying/abuse is very subtle and a lifetime of it can really have a serious negative impact.

C) I'm sure the censors would probably not let them show anything more severe for ratings purposes. For practicality reasons, it's meant to just convey a thought than be a literal narrative. Some people can instantly relate to her and say, "Yeah, I get that!" without having to show outright potentially triggering material.

[(Anonymous)]

I wish they'd at least use some kids that don't look like models for this kind of thing.

Like the part where the girl in the "Fucking Perfect" writes "skinny bitches" on the wall? You're just as skinny as they are. What in all of the shits.

I'm not saying that skinny girls don't have problems, or that they don't have unreasonable insecurities, but it looks like they're sticking pretty people in the video simply for it to be a pretty video. And that rubs me the wrong way for something that's trying to speak against bullying and outcasting people.

[(Anonymous)]

you never been depressed or know someone who has have you? Different people have different tolerances for bullying. And extreme bullying is probably going to be really triggering. They juts want to make a point without triggering a good part of their audience. Just because it's not extreme hardcore bullying doesn't mean it's less effective. That attitude of it's not that bad is really destructive to anti bullying efforts. If people see that even minor bullying can ruin a person's life maybe they'll actually do something about it.

To be honest I don't think the racial/ethnic slurs, microaggressions, and passive aggression my brother and I had to face would translate well enough for a music video or would be allowed to be aired.

[(Anonymous)]

...Dude. If you listen to the lyrics of Numb in conjunction with the video, it's not that she and her mom just fought--it's that her mother is controlling as fuck and wants Daughter to be a Perfect Little Clone.

Here's some choice lyrics.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me,
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you.

And I know
I may end up failing too.
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.

It's a song about being stuck under a controlling parent.

[stainless]

I don't know. I endured a very specific kind of abuse as a kid -- I have a disability, and my physical therapist was horrible to us and belittled and physically tortured us all. But because I was a child, I had no way of knowing "This is how I help you; helping you is my job" was either a lie or... well, a monster's version of being good. How do you say "Don't touch me!" to someone who is supposedly helping you, such that you get time out of your classes at school to go and see her?

It took me years to be able to name that for what it was because there is no depiction of it out there that I can turn to and go "That! Right there!" Most kids don't have disabilities, and it's only now that I've grown up that adults who had their disabilities as kids are naming it and people are recognizing it.

Sometimes people do really hurtful shit, but it's invisible (or less visible) because it's not what people expect harmful behavior to look like. So I see what you're saying, OP, but some manipulation is corrosive precisely because it doesn't look That Bad (tm).

[(Anonymous)]

It's possible for both bullying and abuse to be subtle enough that, unless you really look at what's their doing, and *how* it's being done, you won't realize what's going on. Believe me, I grew up in a household where that was the case. In public, my parents seemed like model parents. In privet? It was a combination of some pretty severe emotional abuse, coupled with some nasty medical care neglect [I've had a ruined hip since I started high school - and as a result I'm in chronic pain, and probably will be for the rest of my life.]

Unless you were actually listening to exactly what was being said, the few times something slipped in public would have looked exactly like a fight - albeit one where the parent was being particularly vicious.

So, while those videos may have not fit what *you* picture as abuse, or bullying, it does fit how it looks in some cases.

[oroburos69]

You sound like the writers who don't think Harry Potter was abused enough and so make their fic into a smorgasbord of sexual and physical abuse. To make it more legit.

Does it not not count to you if they aren't in imminent danger of dying or something?

[(Anonymous)]

My guess would be that if they showed the extremes that bullying has actually reached for some people, the video would be dismissed as over-the-top and 'unrealistic.'

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh, the video for "Fuckin' Perfect." I really can't with it and its triggery self harm imagery. I know, I know, life doesn't come with a warning label, and it's not the video's fault I started cutting again after seeing it (I got that comment before from someone on F!S last time I was in a thread about this fucking video), but I really cannot stand even thinking about the stupid thing and I guess OP's insistence that its depiction of bullying/depression is unrealistic.

[nyxelestia]

Um, OP? The fact that those are 'normal' lives is the point of those videos.

There is already plenty of media in existence about awful it is to go through much more horrific bullying and abuse and trauma in life.

Those songs and videos are for people who lead life without any seemingly serious trauma and yet still end up feeling the same way. It's basically showing the "slow build" of constant of minor pressure, rather than the popular sentiment of something like severe bullying or abuse that may not be as constant/often but is much more severe once it happens.

In short, I get what you are saying and your frustration, OP, but I think you missed the point.

[b_dangerous]

Now look at the demographics for those songs. It's fairly typical to be bullied at that age in the way the videos represent. Maybe it doesn't speak to you or me, but some do relate to it.

Shrugging their pain off as nothing is kind of a dick move. Just saying.

[arise]

The video for that Pink song, specifically the pretty graphic self-harm, always made me really uncomfortable, though I can't really put my finger on why.

[(Anonymous)]

i admit to never seeing the video for "numb" but the video for "fucking perfect" hit so fucking close to home when it came out