[ SECRET POST #2095 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2095 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 020 secrets from Secret Submission Post #299.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

06. http://i.imgur.com/Kn04P.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

Wtf does you being 26 and a virgin have anything to do with the secret??

[(Anonymous)]

Came here to say this.

[mekkio]

I hope to God that you watched it at home...

(I don't even want to think about the sticky theater floors and seats.)

[insanenoodlyguy]

My first thought is honestly that that's just plain hot. Sorry you didn't like the movie.

[(Anonymous)]

That you are 25 and a virgin is relevant here because....

[ecoerrante]

Your PS isn't really needed here. You're age, and status of virginity/not really isn't relative.

That said, I was bored by it too. It just felt like they were trying to follow too many characters to really settle into a plot that...didn't really seem to have much to it, in the first place. Of course, I'm the same part of the minority on this as you so -shrugs-

[yeranonnyharry]

This secret looks as if it were carefully crafted to be just so edgy.

[forgottenjester]

Okay. Too bad you didn't like the movie. It's not the end of the world or anything. No one really cares. I hope you find something else you like.

[fingalsanteater]

Cool story, sis.

Eh. I've heard this before. Not the masturbation part, but the "the first hour and a half was boring" part.

[morieris]

Everyone has already wondered what your age and sex have to do with it, so I'll just skip on by and say that yeah, besides Fury and Hawkeye and Black Widow, it bored me too. I couldn't take everyone sniping at each other.

[(Anonymous)]

You've just told me way more than I ever needed to know about you.

[intrigueing]

I feel like either you missed a chunk of text or you accidentally combined the text of two different secrets. What relevance do the different paragraphs have to each other? Also, what's with the TMI?

[(Anonymous)]

Goofus masturbates in a movie theater, uncaring of the people around him.

Gallant waits until he gets home to masturbate.

[(Anonymous)]

SO... What parts were you masturbating too?

[(Anonymous)]

Well, as a thirty-something year old virgin who had a sexual identity crisis this summer, I *loved* the movie, I wanked to a *lot* of kink inspired fic, and...

Steve is love. So there.

[insolentwitch]

Does this secret make anyone else think of Prince's "Darling Nikki"?
I knew a girl named Nikki
I guess you could say she was a sex fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby
Masturbating with a magazine


Lyrics:

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/prince/darling+nikki_20111350.html

Video:

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9ru9e_prince-darling-nikki-live-philly-20_music

[(Anonymous)]

Is the secret about you being 25 and a virgin or
but you couldn't get it published if you didn't add something related to fandom?

[(Anonymous)]

Congratulations on your nonconformist fandomsecret opinions.

Un-congratulations on your conformist fandomsecret retention of your virginity well into your twenties, which you shared with us totally unprompted for reasons I am having trouble guessing at.

[velvet_mace]

In a theater? Ew. At home, who cares.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know if you were confused about it, but we don't actually have a rule about this. Just because secrets and fandom in general are frequently a circle jerk about what you flick your bean to and exactly how old, virginal, female, white, or gay you are while doing it doesn't mean it's a required postscript in secrets.

[(Anonymous)]

You're trolling, right? Because that was stupid.

[b_dangerous]

ALERT THE PRESSES: 25 YEAR OLD FEMALE VIRGIN BORED BY AVENGERS, MASTURBATES IN THEATER. VIRGINITY STILL IN TACT.

[micromyni]

So you didn't like a movie. Congratulations of being different, I guess.

[(Anonymous)]

Obviously the end information is relevant because girls don't masturbate. Especially 25-year old virgin girls. Especially in a movie theater. Only non-virgin guys are that sexually driven. This whole thing goes against the grain!