[ SECRET POST #2097 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2097 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 129 secrets from Secret Submission Post #300.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

NS, NF, etc.

[ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ]

NF

[(Anonymous)]

How is this fandom at all, what the hell even?

Re: NF

[(Anonymous)]

The "childfree fandom," maybe?

Yeah, I'm reaching, I know.

Re: NF

[diet_poison]

That would be why it's listed under "not!fandom"...?

Re: NF

[intrigueing]

Because childfree creepers hang around on LJ a lot I think? IDK.

Re: NF

[brightblueink]

I'm guessing the friend in the secret is a fandom friend. Only thing I can imagine.

NF

[(Anonymous)]

Your friend sounds like a dick. Their reaction is way over the top, definitely.

But as for the hanging out part...you have kids. They don't like kids, possibly even hate kids. Why would they want to hang around you if it means hanging around something they hate?

Re: NF

[(Anonymous)]

Spouse/babysitter?

Re: NF

[(Anonymous)]

I hate kids, but I don't mind hanging out with friends who have kids - as long as they leave their kid with their SO/babysitter/other relatives so we can just hang out like we used to before. I DO mind people who drag their kids with them, who talk about their kids all the time, and really just meet me because they want me to tell them how cute their kids are. Fuck them. So if you're in the second group, OP, I kind of understand your friend. If not, they're clearly a fuckhead.

Re: NF

[diet_poison]

People are generally not physically attached to their children...

N!F

[(Anonymous)]

Obviously not fandom as said above and also
why the hell would you still want to be friends with someone who reacts like that? :I

[tasogare_n_hime]

NS: Maybe it's because I'm in a really small fandom on tumblr, but I've found a few really interesting contributions to my fandom there, and a really awesome fandom friend.

NF: You really deserve better OP. Someone so disrespectful of you, and your life choices was never your friend. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

NF

[(Anonymous)]

Dude.

I know this is going to seem harsh, because you obviously still care about this friend, but somebody needs to lay some truth on you.

This person is an asshole and a crappy friend. You should have her/him in your life for the simple fact that s/he is toxic and filled with irrational hatred. S/he has and will only continue to treat you poorly and bring you down.

Don't try to reforge this "bond," whatever it was. Seriously. You're better off without a fair-weather jerk like that.

NF

[(Anonymous)]

Your friend is a complete hosebeast. You deserve better. This is not the kind of person you should even want to have as a friend.

NF

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds like your friend might be feeling abandoned by you and jealous maybe? Not much you can do though except just let them get on with it. I know how it can feel being single and childless when your friends around you get married and have kids. It's really difficult because you end up feeling like a combination of a loser and a sad person. Often feeling like there's a club they are all in that you aren't.

I can understand someone being bitter and defensive. I've never gone that way, always happy for friends that get married, and I like their kids, I think it's lovely, I just feel very depressed I've not had the same luck as them, unlike your friend, I try not to be bitter. It's not their fault I've been unlucky in the world of relationships and family.

NF

[(Anonymous)]

Your friend sounds like an asshole, lose them and forget them.

I gotta say, though, you sound a lot like a former friend of mine that goes off on people for those exact things. She accuses childfree people in general of being the kind of jerks who call everyone with kids breeders. She invents some of the stuff she goes on about, which makes me wonder about the incidents I don't have first hand knowledge of.

The reason she loses a lot of friends and finds people backing away from her? It has more to do with how she will have meltdowns at them publicly than anything else.

Not knowing you, I can't tell if you just have an asshole friend, or if you're being a drama llama, so whatev.

NS

[intrigueing]

And that's a bad thing because....? If a blog is dedicated to popularizing and giving more exposure to other people's good fanworks, that is contributing something. Kinda like how word-of-mouth and publicity and marketing contribute to the media industry, and how rec lists and archives and reviews contribute to fandom?

NS

[(Anonymous)]

I like tumblr because it's the only place one of my fandoms exists. I'd love it if it existed on LJ or DW instead but it doesn't.

I actually do have a talent of sorts -- I'm not half-bad at fic. But tumblr sucks as a place to post fic as far as I can tell.

[(Anonymous)]

It's fandom. It's a hobby. It's not something that someone should be forced to 'contribute' to in order to enjoy.

NS

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, and this "fact" being revealed surprises no one at all. This argument has happened in literally dozens of fandomsecrets threads.

NS

[citrinesunset]

I feel similarly about Tumblr, but honestly, that's partly why I use it: to collect stuff I think is pretty/cool/funny. For me, it's kind of like Delicious, except for gifs and graphics.

I don't use Tumblr as my main fandom platform.

NF

[(Anonymous)]

I can relate with your friend, to be honest. In fact, this might even be about me. I can say some really mean stuff when I'm upset, especially when it was my very best friend who I felt betrayed me.

Though it's been a mutual disconnect on both sides. When you get married you get obsessed with your significant other, and everyone else has to be appointments to even see you. And if you're single, that makes it even harder because no one likes being a third wheel.

Once you have a baby your life is over. The part of you that used to exist is now over, that part of the book is SHUT. Things will never be the same. You die when your child is born and everything you ever were is dedicated to that child. There's no room there for a fun-loving, single, kid-at-heart.

I don't care how much you seem to think you can juggle everything. You can't.

[(Anonymous)]

Your friend sucks, sorry to say. I'm childfree and never had a problem hanging out with friends who have kids - with OR without said kids. It's not like I'm babysitting for them. Maybe your friend tolerates kids even less than I do. Still, they're not exactly a great friend.

NF

[wauwy]

Childfree people are the worst, run now and run far before they start going on about their dogs.

NF

[brightblueink]

Man, I'm single and childless but my biggest dream is having a family. Like, I have other important dreams, too, other things I want to do, it's not what my identity is centered around on, but on my priority list, having a family and adopting some kids is right at the top. So...I...I couldn't even be friends with someone like that. someone who doesn't want to get married, cool, someone who doesn't want kids, fine, but someone who would freak out about me getting married and having kids? Yeah...nope...I can find someone else to hang around with.