[ SECRET POST #2148 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2148 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 080 secrets from Secret Submission Post #307.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - doing a bit of troll-weeding ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[(Anonymous)]

Like, me, it really pisses me off when people assume I'm a lesbian. NOT because being a lesbian is bad, but because people always have such bull shit reasons about why they think it's okay to speculate about my sexuality.

Some of my "favorites"
- you "look" like a lesbian (what the fuck does that even mean?)
- you're hair's too short to be straight
- you don't wear make up
- you don't have a boyfriend

And it just pisses me off so much, because I can't say anything without people getting on my case about being homophobic. No you shithead, I'm not homophobic, I'm "stop acting like my sexuality is any of your fucking business"phobic. (I mean, if people were asking because they saw me being intimate with a person who identifies as a girl, then I wouldn't be so annoyed, because at least they have a reason to think that, rather then just guessing.)

Anyway, that's my rant. Anyone else have things that you get pissed off about, but not for the reasons people assume?

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[(Anonymous)]

I wish people didn't assume I was straight.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[(Anonymous)]

Was about to say this

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[maverickz3r0]

Haaa, me too.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[elialshadowpine]

Gods, this. It's fucking frustrating, because I'm decidedly not straight but people always comment that I don't "look" gay. Which, I'm pansexual but. And I ask and get this fucking "well lesbians always dress masculine" BS. Even from other not-straight women! Argh!

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[(Anonymous)]

I also wish people didn't assume I'm a lesbian, because I'm a bisexual trans guy, but that's none of their damn business either so...

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[(Anonymous)]

Tired of people assuming I want/need a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or that I'm even looking, when I'm not, and haven't been for ten years plus.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[kathkin]

Lol on a similar note, I am gay and I've been told that I 'don't dress like a lesbian'. By a gay man. Who once snarked at me for saying another gay girl 'dresses really straight'. What.

More relevantly, I used to have a similar problem in school, I think mainly because I was (and still am) quite touchy-feely with close friends. All the girls in my class decided that this obviously meant I was a lesbian. Oh and then me and a friend had a running joke about how married we were and they found out about that and took it as 'proof' that we were a legit lesbian couple. o_O (We were twelve at the time. Again: what.)

So basically being pissed off because people assume you are gay for nonsensical reasons does not make you homophobic, it makes them judgemental and heterosexist.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[(Anonymous)]

Because I'm fat, I've clearly never heard of this "diet" thing, or "exercise" (is that how you spell it omg?). Thank god there are concerned citizens who will tell me I'm fat, because I never knew!!1 Hallelujah, I have seen the light. I will stop being fat right now because it just never occurred to me before!

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[(Anonymous)]

It pissed me off during the election whenever I mentioned some of the laws I was afraid of (Leg.rape/must carry your rapist's baby laws, etc) that I was called a 'feminazi/extreme feminist' by some pissy guys. The worst part was when some guy talked down to me about it, because "women have it great here" and told me to stop whining. UGH.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[diet_poison]

...wow

I don't wear makeup either, or have a boyfriend rn...I'm not a lesbian...and really, people assuming you are one because of those awful stereotypes? are being derogatory towards lesbians as well as rude to you.

I feel like if someone pulled the last one I'd say something like "but I don't have a girlfriend either...DOES THAT MEAN I'M STRAIGHT TOO? oh no, so contradictory! I don't even know myself!!!"

It pisses me off a lot when people on the Internet (not here obv, but in other places) assume I'm a guy just because I'm on the Internet doing something nerdy (playing Yu-Gi-Oh! or flash games, usually). But I suspect almost every woman on the Internet can relate to that one...
ppl r so dumb -.-;

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[(Anonymous)]

Apparently a majority of the students my department thought I was a lesbian because I wear my nails very very short. There were other factors, but that apparently was what "convinced" them. I do like women to some degree, but I have never told any of them and never wanted to; and I have no interest in being intimate with anyone of any gender. (Not ace, just celibate.)

But yeah, learning that my sexuality is a topic of conversation behind my back is pretty appalling.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[(Anonymous)]

The one time I can recall someone insisting I was a lesbian, she was 1) probably drunk and 2) probably upset that her husband/boyfriend/whatever was looking at me. I don't think she really, truly believed anything about my orientation one way or the other, she was just jealous and cranky and drunk and an idiot.

The one that gets me is people who assume I don't want a boyfriend and am some kind of "confirmed bachelorette" just because I don't freak out and make a scene over not having one. The worst is when someone asks me "Don't you want a boyfriend?" and I say "Sure!" and then they get... confused. I don't know if they think wanting a partner means you automatically get one or if they expect being single when you'd rather not be means constantly breaking down in tears and shoveling cookie dough ice cream into your mouth or what. I mean, I've got shit to do here, I can't be a sobbing mess all the time!

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh, I know that feel, anon.

Are we measuring one's level of homosexuality by hair-length now? Such bullshit.

My story: When I first started wearing makeup, some of my nerdy male friends started going on "You don't have to wear makeup! You can just be natural!"

No, you do NOT get to tell me whether I should or should not wear makeup. You are NOT the ones wearing the makeup, therefore, you don't get a say in it. You do not get to judge me for wearing makeup like "those other slutty girls". Because I live in a society that tells me my entire worth as a person comes down to what I look like - it doesn't matter if I'm funny or intelligent or charming, none of that means shit if I'm ugly.
No, you don't get to judge me for trying to make a good first impression.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[forgottenjester]

My weight is everyone's business apparently. People think they can put their hands on me and pick me up. They're not even consistent in their criticism. I'm either fat and need to diet or I'm anorexic and should eat more. But I'm not pissed off "because it's my body and you should deal" but because I'm actually very worried about my weight. I'm unwillingly losing weight and I really shouldn't be. I've been eating more to make up for it but it's not working. If I lose any more weight I'm going to have to see the doctor because something's wrong.

But no, let's add more stress by schooling me about how my body isn't skinny/fat enough.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[inkdust]

Not really qualifying as pissed off, but related to yours - I'm bi, haven't ever had a boyfriend but had a 3 year relationship with a girl, and I'm always a little bothered when people make the assumption, back when I was dating my girlfriend or now if they learn that my ex is a girl, that I'm a lesbian. Because...it's not what I am. It drives me crazy that people assume from one relationship, especially because it's usually a silent assumption, giving me no convenient opportunity to say, "Well, actually..." It's sort of an understandable assumption, given our tendency toward dichotomy, but it drives me crazy.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[notboldly50295]

"Gaydars" piss me off, for many reasons. One of the big ones is that the people who claim to have a good "gaydar" are always so proud of it, like they win at Where's Waldo? or something.

SOMEONE IS ONLY GAY IF THEY SAY THEY ARE, ASSWIPES, STOP LABELING.

And now it's time for something completely different

[(Anonymous)]

I always get upset whenever someone mistakes my birthmark for a black eye. It doesn't look anything like a black eye, haven't you seen one before? And no, I did not get into a fight, and no, my nonexistent husband does not beat me!

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[30_rock_office]

When people ask me why I'm not seeing someone , and they ask why not, and when I say "because I'm not interested in anyone/don't have the time/don't have the energy/it's not important," and they're like "you're being too picky/just wait until the right guy comes along/how have you not had a boyfriend yet?" It's just annoying. I don't need someone in my life to affirm my abilities or so other people don't think I'm alone. They look at me like they're sorry for me. And when I try to explain *my* reasons, they just act like they think I can't get a date or whatever dumb reason they think I'm "alone."

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[deenaa]

I wish people would stop assuming that I'm some bitter harpy because I don't have a boyfriend and I'm not interested in getting one. :I I really like being unattached and I've never met anyone who changed that, and that's all there is to it!

Along the same line, I'm not interested in kids either. People automatically assume that you're just being rebellious and 'you'll change your mind~ teehee'.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[kinirokitsune]

As many people have mentioned, I get annoyed when people feel pity over the fact I am single. I remain single for various reasons. My main reason is that I ENJOY being single. I've gotten used to being mildly annoyed when relatives ask me this. Though the worst offenders are close friends and acquaintances that mention "nice boys" I could date.

This reaction I've only gotten from many male Hispanic friends and family. 'You play video games? But you're so pretty!' Apparently, only 'ugly girls' play video games. Seriously, the fuck? Also, I hate when they try to tell me how to disconnect my gaming systems or connect the dvd player.

You don't need to fucking tell me how to do it. I'm the one that connected everything in the first place. (I get double pissed when they take upon themselves to fix it, not knowing about about my tv or systems, only to muck it up some more)

This one I got all the time when I was young. Sometimes, some people STILL tell me "Oh, once you find the right guy, you'll forget all about your career! So, there is no need to study too hard or read too much." No, just no.

I also hate the "You'll grow out of it" and "It's just phase!" from strangers.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't look like a lesbian and IDGI.
I have short hair.
No make up
No boyfriend
Jeans are awesome.
Rainbow. Bracelet

But no-one ever thinks I'm a lesbian. People assume I'm asexual before they think "oh she must be gay" and I'm just what???????

I basically dread this because it means I am repeatedly 'coming out' to people and it drives me nuts.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[(Anonymous)]

As with others, anything about not being in a relationship - simply because I am happy with my independence. I'm not Ace, I just prefer the benefits to not being in a relationship to a relationship.

Any time people mention getting a partner as a solution to my problems.

Jokes about how my hair loss will make hair care easier or that I can buy so many pretty wigs or bandanna or how I don't have to worry about haircuts or a too-hot head. Basically any jokes that tries to see an 'upside' to having no hair/next-to-no-hair. NO. There is no upside. Stop it. You can sympathise and be there for me or whatever, but do not try to point out all the "good" things about involuntary loss of hair.
It's on the level of telling a foot amputee in my head "well at least you don't need to cut toe nails/buy shoes anymore". NO

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Religion and atheism. I'm not pissed off at Pat Robertson because he's a Christian, I'm pissed off because he can't stop staying dumb shit about atheists.

Re: Anyone else have things they're pissed off about but not for the reasons people think?

[citrinesunset]

I didn't leave Christianity (Catholicism, in particular) because I had a "bad experience" or because I believe all Christians are homophobic/otherwise bigoted. Disagreement with the Church's policies motivated me to stop identifying as a Catholic, but mostly, I just didn't believe in it. And no, the "problem" isn't that I haven't been exposed to Christian doctrine. Reading the Bible was what helped me realize that I didn't believe in it.