[ SECRET POST #2207 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2207 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 023 secrets from Secret Submission Post #315.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

16. http://i50.tinypic.com/jfysrd.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

You're not going to win any favor by trying to rile women against each other. Both slut shaming and virgin shaming are problems that affect women.

[lunabee34]

+ 1

[(Anonymous)]

How is "sweet" at all related to virginity? Also, "innocent" can arguably mean naivete about other things besides sex. I mean, I understand that people tend to bundle those together, but I don't understand why.

[(Anonymous)]

Lol for real. Most villains in fiction were probably virgins.

[(Anonymous)]

People just use innocent in that specific context to mean sexually innocent. As far as sweet, my best guess is it's intended to oppose "sexy" and "hot."

[iceyred]

The Land of the Bible Belt is giving you grief about being a virgin? Wat.

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP, but:

ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Whether you abstain from dating and sex for religious, personal, or practical reasons, the responses I have received pretty universally are along a range of negativity from "aww what a cute stupid child" to "wow frigid bitch" :P

It's a k-popatriarchy.

[insanenoodlyguy]

by sweet they mean divoted robot slavegirl. By Naive just stupid enough that you always have to explain it to her (But she learns). By pure they mean until in their bed.

+1000

[(Anonymous)]

obv OP hasn't been listening very closely

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Virgin-shaming is shitty but that's not exactly why western fans tend to have a problem with this mindset. What these guys are talking about is extreme subservience, very good at being a housewife and nothing else, putting girls on a pedestal/as an object to enhance their life, rather than a person.

[(Anonymous)]

Are you trying to say that people don't get upset over virgin-shaming? Because they do. A lot. Shaming is bad, generally speaking. I think you need to broaden your reading circle and take a little more info into your sweet naive innocent head.

[(Anonymous)]

...I really want to know where the fuck you're seeing virgin shaming, because all through high school not even five years ago (for the start of it!), the only shaming was of girls who dressed too "slutty." If you were a virgin, you were a fucking paragon of humanity, but heaven forbid you even entertain the idea of liking sex.

[(Anonymous)]

Lots of people complain about virgin shaming. Most of the people who complain about slutshaming also complain about virgin shaming.

Indeed, it's a related problem.

Women get judged harshly for dressing or acting either way.

[(Anonymous)]

No, really.

http://roseaposey.tumblr.com/post/39795409283/judgments

[(Anonymous)]

I can't help but feel like they would shame me just as much for being a virgin at my age. I mean it's cute young girls you want, not grown up woman who just aren't interested in sex.

[al28894]

Well, you can make the argument that all women are NOT innocent and sweet - at least to a certain degree, but then again, I think that for a person to like a nice sweet girl is a pretty refreshing change of pace. :)

Or maybe I'm looking at the secret through wrong-tinted lenses.

[diet_poison]

"Who gives a shit about virgin-shaming?"

Lots of people. I know I do.

Also - I'm chaste and don't like it when people make virgin-shaming remarks, but the whole "must have innocent and pure girl!!!!" attitude also really rubs me the wrong way.

[(Anonymous)]

To all the people saying you never heard of what we're calling "virgin shaming" (for the sake of practicality) in high school or elsewhere--where were you??? Unless you're living in some ultra-conservative/religious small town or something--the girls I've known have typically been seen as LOSERS if they're "still" a virgin by the late teens. I've known girls as young as 12 who have started talking about losing it. I first got the "wait--you're STILL a virgin?" line at age 13. Where I live, a lot of girls complain about how they hoped to lose it by age 16--so um yeah, seeing a lot less "slut shaming" than virgin shaming going on where I live. Though like the above posters have said. Why is one's sexual history (or lack thereof) anybody's business?? Unless they're applying for the life partner position--why would they even be interested?

[(Anonymous)]

Don't worry anon, I feel the same way too sometimes. Enjoy your k-entertainment! Have you watched Sungkyunkwan Scandal yet? The main romantic couple don't kiss until 3/4s of the show is done but it's so worth it when it happens.

[something_greater]

I get you, OP.

Also, not all of this can be passed off as shitty "Korea is inherently misogynist, they want girls who they can control", a lot of those dudes have been doing nothing but training since they were pre-pubescent.

Maybe they want a girl who's just as clueless as they are? Because watch the Big Bang making of docu-whatever show, if you want confirmation that at least at the beginning of their careers, 4/5 of that band were about as well socialized on how to deal with girls as your average 14 year old nerd.

Yes, a lot of the world's, and specifically the part of the world that is the Republic of Korea, standards about what constitutes attractiveness/desirability for women are insanely fucked up. But sometimes people just like what they like. There's no reason for this to be inherently upsetting, if their intent isn't malicious.

(Case in point: TOP, who has said that he wouldn't date a girl who swears. Who uses formal language with everyone he knows, including his bandmates. That's not holding women to a warped standard, that's having an embarrassing hangup that happens to coincide with a cultural understanding of the "correct behavior of women".)

[wauwy]

YEA, when is the world gonna start valuing chaste women????

Late but...

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like everyone forgets how fake Kpop is. These men aren't saying this because they genuinely want a nice virginal good girl, they're saying it because the record label told them to say it. The record labels are well aware that most of the fans in South Korea are young teenage girls (10-14) who probably want to believe that idols they love would want to be into nice young girls like themselves.

I'm sure most idols are with women (or men) who have more going on than just being niave virgins.

[(Anonymous)]

Cultural difference FAIL