fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2406 ]

[ SECRET POST #2406 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2406 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 077 secrets from Secret Submission Post #344.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Okay I know people are going to yell at me so i'll be careful to word it in a way that doesn't sound offensive.

Growing up I'll say that I've always been rather sheltered. I am female and I had the knowledge and understanding of the problems society makes against females. But this afternoon I read about a group (Autism Speaks) that claims to be in favor of a group that supposedly is trying to help people like me but in actuality is hate group against them. I knew they sucked before but reading about how deeply hateful they were and how much they seem to want to eradicate people like me. It shook me , to the point where I almost wanted to cry.

...I feel like it's somehow wrong that I had this experience over being disabled rather than being female.

Sorry (again) if I sound offensive.

If you want anyone to respond, you need to not be so coy. What group that Autism Speaks supports are you talking about?

Um well, I'm autistic and basically I notice that Autism Speaks seems to act like they want to help autism but all they do is act like being autistic is a horrible thing and that the world would be better if no one was autistic (one of their board members have said they want to make autism 'a word for the history books')

Even their PSA for it was all about how hard it was to raise an autistic child. Even parents making disturbing comments about how they want to kill their child and themselves.

it does nothing but hurt autistic people to spread the belief that being autistic is a horrible thing worse than death. My parents made it very well without that kind of thinking and they continue to reinforce that no matter what I am they want me in their family.

So either AS doesn't realize they'r being hurtful or just don't care, The fact that they won't let any autistic people on their 'board' tells me they don't care. All they care about is the 'frustration' and 'issues' they cause to non autistic parents.

:/

My parents made it very well without that kind of thinking and they continue to reinforce that no matter what I am they want me in their family.

I don't want to be an asshole, but: you're clearly functional. You're able to communicate with other adults on a message board.

Now imagine raising a kid who is unresponsive and will need lifelong care. Who may not be able to express any kind of love in return.

I'm not trying to defend Autism Speaks or anything--I've heard nothing good about them--but you have to acknowledge that Autism is a spectrum and you're on a certain end of it.

That's true....

I guess I shouldn't have said that.

Sorry

Re: Had a shocking moment of realization today

chardmonster - 2013-08-05 00:03 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Had a shocking moment of realization today

thene - 2013-08-05 00:12 (UTC) - Expand

Wow. And you need not be such an asshole. Not wanting to say the name of a hate group that targets you is being "coy"? idgi.

I don't think any definition of 'hate group' fits Autism Speaks. They are a very unhelpful group but that is just not what 'hate group' means, sorry.

lolwut

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-05 00:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: lolwut

thene - 2013-08-05 00:40 (UTC) - Expand

I don't get it. Do you mean that you're a disabled woman and cried over encountering a hate group against disabled people instead of experiencing misogyny first?

If it is, then you shouldn't have to feel it's wrong. People can be in several minority groups at once: it's not because you're queer that you stop being a POC, for example.

Yeah that's it.

(Really what makes it worse is less that it's a hate group, it's that it's a hate group that says it's for helping the group it hates and uses the money often given by well meaning folks to raises to hurt them even more )

I'm sorry. *hugs*

If it helps, Autism Speaks is REALLY shady. Both in terms of ideology and practices, the money they raise is not guaranteed to go to the right pockets. I'm sorry you had to read this, and I hope you'll find a much better support group.

Re: Had a shocking moment of realization today

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-04 23:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Had a shocking moment of realization today

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-04 23:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Had a shocking moment of realization today

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-05 09:22 (UTC) - Expand

:/

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-05 14:12 (UTC) - Expand

"...I feel like it's somehow wrong that I had this experience over being disabled rather than being female."

I don't really think it's wrong. I'm a woman and I'm aware of problems many women face just for being women, but it's never happened to me and it's only been recent that it happened to someone I know. Not every woman experiences discrimination or hatred just because they're a woman.

Yeah, this.

I kind of hate that a lot of women and girls want to absolutely ignore the great progress we've made, at least in North America and most parts of the West.

Shit still sucks in a lot of ways but gee whiz it feels good not to be oppressed.

a lot of women are oppressed though.

Re: Had a shocking moment of realization today

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-05 00:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Had a shocking moment of realization today

chardmonster - 2013-08-05 02:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Had a shocking moment of realization today

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-05 02:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Had a shocking moment of realization today

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-05 09:18 (UTC) - Expand

While misogyny is clearly bad and not something to scoff at I can't remember the last time I saw someone seriously propose that women should no longer be exist or only exist in history.

There IS a difference between discrimination toward you because people think you're just good for staying in the kitchen and making babies and someone discriminating on you because they want you and those like you to be eradicated.

Not to say they're not both pretty bad. But sort of different. It's easy to see how someone can be more emotionally effected by encountering people like the latter.

I can never understand why people get so offended by Autism Speaks. Apparently it's because they think autism is a bad thing and are hoping to cure it, which...why is that wrong? It's a disability, and while it may have its benefits for some, for the majority, it still makes their lives a lot more difficult. If you think of your disability as part of your identity and would never get rid of it, that's all well and good, but please, don't be so selfish as to say finding a cure for people who do want it gone would be the most offensive thing ever.

It's not that it 's just the way they do it .

You know what offends me? Seeing their PSA where other parents say they would like to kill their children and themselves. The fact that their board members have said that they wished their own autistic children would drown .

It's the fucking fact that altogether they're shifty and are pushing this idea on parents that having an autistic child is HORRIBLE . They only concentrate on how much it sucks and how "difficult" autistic people are.

I wouldn't mind if they found a cure to help people. But it feels like their approach is "stamp out the autistics"

They won't even let a person on the spectrum be on their board. Which gives the idea that they're trying to speak for people with autism. For a group that calls themselves Autism Speaks, that's pretty damn fucking hypocritical.

I'm not against the idea of a cure. I find Autism Speaks offensive because their actions are speaking louder than words and their actions seem to be screaming "we just want you gone".

Why don't you think from another perspective , and not be so lazy as to assume it's about my identity.

How is it lazy to not know something? I might not have learned that if I'd just googled it. I'd rather hear the reasons for people's opinions from them, rather than try and figure them out from objective materials.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-05 02:35 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-05 02:38 (UTC) - Expand

Thanks

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-05 02:45 (UTC) - Expand

It really depends on what part of the spectrum their child is at. If their autistic child is nothing more than an angry drooling baby for their entire life, then yes, I can see why these parents would be upset.

One of their people said that they want autism to be a "word for the history books" They're not about giving a cure for people who want it, they're all about "no more autistics period"

Please don't be so selfish as to to attack someone who is hurt and offended when a group claiming to speak for them can do nothing but spread fear about them and people like them.

Okay, I see from the person above you that they go about it in disturbing ways, and that's something to be upset about. But the part you said? It's an absolutely horrible thing to grow up with and no child should be forced to go through that. Methods of propaganda aside for the moment, I can't see anyone opposing the idea that a disability should be cured worldwide, future generations included. I don't get that.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-05 02:33 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-05 02:42 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-05 02:53 (UTC) - Expand

Honestly, I would myself say that I had probably recognized experiencing ableism before misogyny. This isn't because I hadn't experienced misogyny, but because I didn't recognize it as such at the time. Misogyny can be very subtle (and so can other forms of *isms). It wasn't until I was probably my mid-20s that I looked back at some of the stuff from my childhood and realized that, no, actually, that was misogyny. The ableism I ran into was much more in-your-face.

I, personally, would not want a child who was heavily autistic. If they were on the spectrum where they could function/take care of themselves, then I wouldn't mind, but if I had to take care of them my entire life? I'd give them up for adoption. I'm an Atheist, and I know I only have one chance at life, and then I'm gone. I'm not going to waste it on being a fulltime nurse.

This might sound harsh to you, but I think you're being really selfish right now. You're obviously able to function. These parents? Their lives are ruined, they have to struggle with hospital bills and tantrums and cleaning up an adult person's excrement day in and day out. They have ever right to wish that their burden didn't exist. There SHOULD be a cure of autism, because those burdens never had a real chance at life due to their disability.

For fuck's sake.

It's not about the cure It's....just read this: http://fandomsecrets.dreamwidth.org/852056.html?thread=674593880#cmt674593880

I have no problem with a cure. I have a problem with a group that calls it's self Autism Speaks and yet refuses to allow someone even mildly on the spectrum to have a place on the board. I have a problem with a group that by it's actions only seems to care that autistic people are "a problem" for others and not the autistic people themselves.

I would fully support a group ran by or at least INCLUDING autistic people that wanted to find a cure.

and I'm pretty sick of people interpreting me as "selfish" because I don't like a group that treats ALL autistic people as burdens(even the functional ones) and speaks OVER us "for our own good". I DO WANT A CURE FOR THOSE WHO NEED IT. But I'd like the group campaigning it to be one I can actually fucking trust.

I know some people have it worse than me and it can be frustrating. But Autism Speaks seems to push the view that "all autistics are a burden" as the ONLY appropriate view.

I spent 13 years of my life being bullied for everything from "weird" to "retard". Now that a group comes along adding "burden on society" to that list and now I'm supposed to give them my support or I'm selfish? Fuck that.

I said you're selfish for trying to tear down parents who said they'd want their burden to disappear. These aren't bad people-They're people who have an adult child for the rest of their lives, and it is hard. They should be allowed to vent, even if you don't like what they're saying. Can you imagine having to clean up an adult person's shit for the rest of your life? Having to spend all of your money on their care? No longer have any dreams, or any enjoyment in your life, because a baby in an adult's body is your eternal burden?

I think they have a right to wish this burden never existed or should disappear.

Also, let me tell you a story. I once saw two parents who looked absolutely exhausted, and their (what looked to be 30 something) autistic son, in a checkout lane. They weren't buying much, but he had this pack of brand-name juice with him. He put it on the belt and the father whispered to the cashier to not scan it. He threw a HUGE fit, and even though the father tried to tell him that they had the exact same juice at home, and didn't have money to really buy more at the moment, he kept screaming. Then he almost physically assaulted the poor girl cashiering, as he pushed her out of the way to get to her returns bin under the register threw it back onto the belt. It was horrifying and I felt so bad for these parents.