[ SECRET POST #2579 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2579 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]


















15. [SPOILERS for Shingeki No Kyojin / Attack On Titan]



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16. [SPOILERS for A Series of Unfortunate Events]




















[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

















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17. [WARNING for child sexual abuse]



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18. [WARNING for pedophilia]

[The Venture Bros.]





















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #368.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

If F!S were a soap opera

[(Anonymous)]

So far we have cast:

Case as the proprietor of the bar where everybody comes to drown their sorrows

ill_omened as the hard-bitten cop

chard as a snarky barfly who is bitter about being an adjunct for the past 25 years

kajinscendre as the good twin
forgottenjester as the evil twin, destined to turn respectable after a brush with death

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[(Anonymous)]

Other roles are up for grabs!

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[(Anonymous)]

but, but, what do we ship

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[(Anonymous)]

You ship everyone with everyone else. That's canon.

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[kaijinscendre]

What does the good twin do? I have not watched soap operas since I was a kid. D:

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[(Anonymous)]

The good twin falls in love with the bad boy (or girl, as the case might be) from the other side of the tracks, undergoes some vicissitudes, gets married, travels in time, and has kids who grow up overnight.

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[(Anonymous)]

Was hoping somebody would resurrect this after the thread it was in the middle of got frozen.

Also, Case also knows where all the bodies are hidden.

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[(Anonymous)]

Must be something about the bar locale, but I'm more wondering who plays who on F!S Cheers now...

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[sporkly]

I like this.

Nominating lunabee for friendly mom figure.

Spreadsheet!anon as the detective that's too invested in their job.

Also Ramfem!anon is destined to be chard's bitter, but somewhat lackluster rival.

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[greenvelvetcake]

We need a time travelling son/daughter of a popular F!Ser who came back in time to stop a catastrophe.

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[iceyred]

Can I be the sketchy family maid who sleeps with the husband and becomes pregnant with his child only to realize later that *gasp* the child was the result of my one night of passion with his son who is now happily married?

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[forgottenjester]

I'm glad this is going strong after it got frozen.

This is best.

Best.

(I'm assuming my brush with death is what made me a genie. Unless we're a genie family...)

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[fingalsanteater]

I'm either an unnamed extra just to fill up space on set or the liquor. Like, "I'll have some Fingalsanteater, on the rocks."

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[(Anonymous)]

Cuteanimalpics was a regular who would pull up pictures of cute animals on their phone, but has recently disappeared under ~mysterious~ circumstances

Nyx (sorry I can't spell their full name) would be the regular who usually gives long winded speeches, but they're actually pretty informative, and have a point, even if you don't agree with it.

Stella would be an older bitter regular who's not actually as bitter as they first appear, and has a bunch of knowledge and a bunch of stories, but she can't tell them for ~reasons.

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[(Anonymous)]

Chard occasionally grades papers at the bar, and does other schoolwork.

At least, that's how it appears.

In reality, those letters are code for her secret lover- Noodles!

Who isn't so secret, everyone knows they're an item, but they have their fun.

And then it turns out that Chard/Noodles was just a cover for something else...

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[insanenoodlyguy]

Going by the role i've already been implied to have, I'm the amoral businessman who helps or hinders protagonists and antagonists based soley on my ability to benefit from either. As a result, I have been shown capable of good acts but can't be trusted.

Many of the parties and other big events where dramatic shit can happen are funded by me or my company.

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[(Anonymous)]

Othellia, intrigueing, and Gina are the classy ladies at the corner table who are more approachable than they first appear.

FauxKaren is a wine snob, but only because she knows so much about it.

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[caecilia]

can I be the sexy villain?

do soap operas have villains

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[loracarol]

I'd be the person who pokes in once in a while but not often. Considered a little old fashioned, I usually have a book with me or something when I show up and I never order anything alcoholic.

Obvious I have secret spy stuff.

Just kidding, I'm a college student and don't have a lot of time.

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[lunabee34]

So apparently I am the FS mom figure who used to live with Tabaqui and Noodly on a lavender farm commune and who is now contemplating betraying my cat-loving BFF Tabi.

I would like to request that I be soap opera nude in all my scenes--you know, reclining in bed with the sheets twined all impossibly around my naughty bits--no matter what I am doing: dispensing sage advise to all the young-ins, fighting with Tabi over custody of the cats, or calling Noodles to reminisce about the scent of lavender. Also, I must always be candlelit (like seance level of candles) with soft elevator music underscoring all my lines.

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[jaybie_jarrett]

Wonder who I'd be? have I even been here long enough to develop a reputation lol.

THE LIST SO FAR

[(Anonymous)]

Case as the proprietor of the bar where everybody comes to drown their sorrows

ill_omened as the hard-bitten cop

chard as a snarky barfly who is bitter about being an adjunct for the past 25 years. Also works at the community college in women's history.

kajinscendre as the good twin

forgottenjester as the evil twin, destined to turn respectable after a brush with death. Florist by day, assassin by night. Also a genie.

Tabaqui as the kindly cat lady knows more about the whole thing than she's telling. Worked in the military.

Lunabee as the friendly mother figure, who briefly worked in commune.

Spreadsheet!anon as the detective who's overinvested in their job.

Radfem!anon as chard's bitter, but somewhat lackluster rival. Works at the community college in women's studies.

greenvelvetcake as kajinscendre's daughter who came back in time to stop a catastrophe.

iceyred as the sketchy family maid who sleeps with the husband and becomes pregnant with his child only to realize later that the child was the result of my one night of passion with his son who is now happily married.

fingalsanteater as the neutral triplet. May or may not be an often requested drink or horrible maid.

Cuteanimalpics as the regular who would pull up pictures of cute animals on their phone, but has recently disappeared under ~mysterious~ circumstances.

Nyx as the regular who usually gives long winded speeches, but they're actually pretty informative, and have a point, even if you don't agree with it.

stella as the old* bitter regular who's not actually as bitter as they first appear, and has a bunch of knowledge and a bunch of stories, but she can't tell them for ~reasons~. Gives advice, but never receives. Works at the hospital as a nurse.

Dethtoll's the mysterious neighbor that occasionally gets drunk and plays video games with stella to forget their troubles.

Noodles as the amoral businessman who helps or hinders protagonists and antagonists based soley on his ability to benefit from either. As a result, he has been shown capable of good acts but can't be trusted. Sometimes ends up in comas.

Othellia, intrigueing, and Gina as the classy ladies at the corner table who are more approachable than they first appear. Maybe either a witches coven or Greek fates that steer the lives of everyone in the town towards some mysterious end ... good? bad? no one knows. except maybe dreemyweird.

nursejoy as the sexy villian disgused as the cute young ingenue and that has really big glasses and frizzy hair or something.

loracarol as the somewhat oldfashioned bookworm that occasionally pokes in. Also the high school valedictorian and .... somebody's daughter, and has many influences in the town are hoping to steal them towards their sinister plots as soon as you graduate! Also works in the bookstore with her new cat.

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[ariakas]

Oooh oooh I'd be a character that gets name-dropped every once in a while, but no one ever gets to meet, because they live on the other side of the world.

/woefully late to the party again, currrseee you timezones!

Re: If F!S were a soap opera

[lynx]

/Late as fuck, but I request to be the cook at the bar.

Since I'm Latina, I'll obviously be casted as an illegal immigrant. The twist being I actually wanted to go to Canada (but wasn't able to make it), and that has made me bitter.