[ SECRET POST #3139 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3139 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 097 secrets from Secret Submission Post #449.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

12. http://i62.tinypic.com/2090s1u.jpg

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

Reading smutty fanfiction has made me realise
I'm asexual
I feel so free.
It's ok to enjoy reading the smutty fics
even if I am not inclined to do anything of that EVER in RL

[(Anonymous)]

Kudos, but I don't see the connection between "I like this" and "this doesn't actually do it for me"

[(Anonymous)]

This. Apologies if I'm asking a newbie question-- but I thought being asexual meant absolutely nothing sex related would be interesting to you, whether it's IRL or in a fic.

In other words... Liking sex between fictional characters even if you're not thinking to do any of those acts yourself still does qualify as liking some sort of sex... which means you aren't actually asexual. Right?

-Sincerely, really confused and uninformed anon

[(Anonymous)]

Do you think that everyone who watches Supernatural also wants to live a nomadic life of demon-hunting?

[(Anonymous)]

Hello! AYART here.

No, I don't believe so. That's because "nomadic life of demon-hunting" is not a label that people claim is an actual genetically proven and assigned, the way sexual orientation is.

A more fitting comparison would be: if a man who is biologically gay says women do not turn him on, but he enjoys watching lesbian porn.

Thank you for trying to illustrate this situation with another example, although I don't think it was a very relevant one. I appreciate your time.

[(Anonymous)]

New anon

But lesbians read m/m slashfic all the time. They're a sizeable proportion of the slash population although they're not attracted to men.

So I'm not sure what your point is. I thought the Supernatural illustration was a good one.

[(Anonymous)]

Asexuality is about lack of sexual attraction, meaning that looking at someone doesn't make you attracted to them sexually. Ace people can still feel sexual desire, as in, their bodies get aroused, but it's not focused on one person in particular. In my case, thinking about characters having sex with each other (but not with me) or specific kinks can make me horny, I masturbate regularly, and I actually have a pretty high libido (physically speaking). My body and sexual organs work just fine; I'm just not attracted to people, and I'm not particularly interested in having sex with other people. Of course there are aces who find any kind sex (real or imagined) uncomfortable/repulsive or uninteresting, while some on the other end of the spectrum enjoy fantasizing about sex or even having it because it feels good physically/provides intimacy/+a lot of other reasons even if they aren't sexually attracted to the person they're having sex with.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my God, thank you for this. I think I might actually be asexual because what you've described is so me, aside from the actual masturbation which I've never tried (slightly scared? IDK, even the thought of sticking a tampon up there is terrifying). I watch TV and movies (and occasionally read things) and feel turned on, but I've never met anyone I've wanted to have sex with, and the one slightly fumbling, aborted, drunken encounter I had with a guy did absolutely nothing for me. I just don't have a desire for intimacy with actual people, but I still find (fictional) people having sex, er, sexy. So thank you for making me feel less like a complete weirdo.

nayrt

[(Anonymous)]

I just don't have a desire for intimacy with actual people, but I still find (fictional) people having sex, er, sexy.

That's me right there, and asexuality has been a comfortable name for it this last decade.

And if you'll forgive me for going OT, I feel the need to point out two things: first of all that, most girls don't need anything "up there" to orgasm - it's all about clitoral stimulation. However, being comfortable with putting my fingers into the v has been a great benefit for my own sanity because tampons, sponges and menstrual cups are a lot less messy and a lot more comfortable than pads.

[(Anonymous)]

You are not asexual, a huge amount of people go about short to long periods of time without feelings perpetually horn when an attractive person passes by. It's normal, promise.

[(Anonymous)]

In my case, thinking about characters having sex with each other (but not with me) or specific kinks can make me horny, I masturbate regularly, and I actually have a pretty high libido (physically speaking).

This is me as well, except that unfortunately I have a pretty low libido (I say unfortunately because I wish it was higher, not because there's anything wrong with having a low libido). However, I think I'm a very sexual person, psychologically speaking, and I DEFINITELY enjoy and am aroused by thinking about/reading about characters having sex with each other.

this form of asexuality is actually called "autochorissexual" if anyone gives a damn about the technical term. Though it's only been called that for a few years, after Anthony Bogaert's discussed this type of asexuality in his book, Asexuality.

I've known I'm asexual for almost fifteen yeas (half my life), but I've always felt very out of place in the Ace community, because I actually like sex a lot, just not in the same way as most other people. For a while in my early twenties I even experimentally tried not thinking of myself as asexual for a while. But it just didn't stick; I knew I was asexual, in my own way. Then I read Bogaert's book and it was like HALLE-fucking-LUJAH THIS IS ME!

So yeah. Good for you for making this breakthrough OP! And definitely know you're not alone (whether you identify as autochorissexual or some other form of asexual, you're in good company). I've been seeing quite a few autochorissexuals around fandom in the last couple years. We're out there, and fandom (unsurprisingly) seems to be one of our favorite haunts.

[(Anonymous)]

Hi! AYRT.

I think it's very interesting because your explanation describes me to a T-- for as long as I can remember, I don't fantasize about IRL people; I'm not interested in having sex with someone if I'm not in a romantic relationship with them first (and having never been in a relationship, I've yet to become interested in sex with anyone yet); and I only fantasize about other cartoon characters with each other, never with myself. Usually they're both not even my gender either.
In my case I just figured it's because I didn't find "the one" yet, since I can still get romantically attached to people without thinking about them sexually at all. I wouldn't know for sure, but... I just feel like my sexual attraction would develop for that individual SO after I get into a relationship, after which I'd feel comfortable knowing that the other person is ok with me thinking about them sexually.

"while some on the other end of the spectrum enjoy fantasizing about sex or even having it because it feels good physically/provides intimacy/+a lot of other reasons even if they aren't sexually attracted to the person they're having sex with."
That's really interesting. That really helped for me to define difference between attraction and libido. Thanks!

All that said, I acknowledge that there are those out there who feel truly asexual. I'm just asking questions to try to figure out more about myself out as well, as my sex ed and romantic history is pretty much nonexistent. Thanks for taking the time to explain this!

[(Anonymous)]

No, asexual means that you don't experience sexual attraction. Anything else is a matter of personal comfort - some asexual people don't want to have sex ever, some are neutral about the idea, and some enjoy sex anyway for other reasons. Same when it comes to reading about sex, or watching it, or whatever. Some like it, some don't, and it doesn't change whether they feel sexual attraction towards others.

[(Anonymous)]

Nope. Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction (wanting to have sex with someone), not a lack of sex drive (being horny). Someone who finds porn/erotica/sexual fantasies arousing but isn't interested in doing the deed themselves are described as "autochorissexual".

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, I didn't know there was a name for it! That's neato.

[(Anonymous)]

Never heard that before. Straight to the tumblr tag!

Guys i think im autochorissexual but im honest to god not sure if im asexual and also im bi with a pref for females but idk?? Little help?

I'm confused!

[(Anonymous)]

lmao stop.

[dahli]

"Autochorissexual" makes it sound like you're sexually attracted to chorizos.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, by that same thinking non-asexual people should always get off reading smut -- which we don't.

What someone reads isn't always in a one-to-one correspondence with their sexuality (certainly yaoi and BL prove that point?)

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

Word. I don't "get off" reading smut, I simply enjoy it. Getting off happens later, when I'm in bed, imagining interesting scenarios, with my vibe.

[dahli]

Same here, OP!

Ace high five!

[(Anonymous)]

How the fuck did you come to that conclusion, because I'm more in the situation where smut/fantasizing is fine but I don't think so about real life and it ain't enlightening at all. Just confusing.

[bur]

Welcome to the ace club, OP!

[nanslice]

Aayyy, welcome to the club anon.