[ SECRET POST #3304 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3304 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Law & Order SVU]


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03.
[Leonardo DiCaprio]


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04.
(Penny Dreadful: Caliban/John Clare)


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05.
[Star Wars]


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06.
[Kumail Nanjiani, The X-Files]


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07.
[Shin Megami Tensei X Fire Emblem]


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08.
[Love Live!]


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09.
[Severus Snape and the Marauders]


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10.
[Sherlock Holmes]


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11.
[Making a Murderer, Dean Strang and Jerry Buting]


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12.
[Colony]















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 027 secrets from Secret Submission Post #472.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

Crush on cousin

[(Anonymous)]

I think i have a crush on my cousin. We have been close for the last 3 years, but from the last 5-6 months i have been feeling pretty weird about the whole thing. It's like we're too much open to each other and talk about just anything. So much comfort, and this is worrying me. She's actually divorced, and actually so chill about everything. And all her friends are married and have moved away, so she's mostly home and don't go out much. But she hangs out with me coz she says I'm too cool to hang out with and stuff. We sometimes make music together too. And she calls me up for everything related to tech and stuff. The thing is I'm fine on the phone and texts, but face to face, I can't sometimes look into her eyes. There's some guilty feeling.

I don't know what to do. Or what should i do ? I obviously can't share this with her or any of my friends.

Re: Crush on cousin

[(Anonymous)]

masturbate it out

Re: Crush on cousin

[(Anonymous)]

Tap it. You'll live the rest of your life regretting it if you don't.

Re: Crush on cousin

[(Anonymous)]

How old are both of you? To be honest, this doesn't seem like a great idea to me. Even if she reciprocates your feelings, imagine how awkward it'd be if you guys broke up. It's like dating a co-worker, when the shit hits the fan you're still going to have to see them Monday through Friday, you know. And this is family, not a job you can quit.


People like to romanticize crushes as this powerful force of destiny you can't resist, but that's bullshit. If you want to get over this, you can. Cut back on time spent with your cousin and get busy with other activities. Give it time. Don't let yourself moon over her.

Re: Crush on cousin

[(Anonymous)]

Are you a girl or a boy?

Re: Crush on cousin

[tabaqui]

So it seems obvious the feeling is returned.... Just deal, anon. Realize that you're not getting with your cousin, that you're good friends and close family and she likes you/relies on you...and that's that.

It's like having a crush on a married friend or school teacher - nothing's gonna happen, so just ride it out and eventually, you'll get through to the other side.

Good luck!
(Also, you're not gross or sick or wrong or anything else. Crushes happen. It's okay.)

Re: Crush on cousin

[(Anonymous)]

crushes go away with time, focus on something else

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

What words of comfort can you offer someone with depression? "I hope you feel better" doesn't seem appropriate.

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

It's not you, it's your brain, and I love you, and I'm here for you.

Re: Advice thread

[kallanda_lee]

I don't think you can "comfort" them - I think it's important that you're there for them, and that they don't feel like you're abandoning because they're "not fun" anymore.

Listen to them if they need to vent, it's hard to find someone to trust.

If you feel like it's the depression talking - do let them know, but not in an accusatory way.

Re: Advice thread

[herpymcderp]

"If you need to talk, I'm here to listen."

That's... about it. It's not something you can fix, or even try to fix. However, knowing that you won't be judged and have a safe place to vent your problems is more helpful than you realize.

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

I like being reminded I'm not bothering someone when I talk and they don't hate me for being depressed. It's VERY person to person though.

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure comfort is what you should be going for. There is nothing you can say that will displace what's already going on in their brain.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" is probably the way to go. Especially if you follow it up with actually doing the thing, whether it's vacuuming their house for them or going out and getting them a cupcake, or even making a difficult phone call.

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a virgin in my 30's. When I finally get a boyfriend, how do I bring that up in a way that isn't awkward?

Re: Advice thread

[kallanda_lee]

Well, you don't necessarily need to bring it up, just throwing that out there.

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

'P-Please be gentle tonight!' ʕつ ͡◔ ᴥ ͡◔ʔつ

Re: Advice thread

[herpymcderp]

You don't have to. It's completely up to you whether or not you think it's important.

For example: let's say you have a boyfriend you don't feel all that serious about, and you wouldn't really care about dumping. You don't feel like you really want to share much emotion or personal information, and you'd rather just have a lot of sex and learn about yourself that way. That might be a situation where you decide it's not so important if you reveal your sexual history.

On the other hand, you might feel very strongly about a boyfriend before you decide to have sex. In this situation you might want to tell him you've never had sex before in order for him to understand that you might not really know what you're doing or you feel nervous/self-conscious/etc. That would be a perfectly valid reason to want to bring it up.

The bottom line is there's no magical way someone you're having sex with is going to know that you've never had sex before. If you do want to bring it up, do so well before the heat of the moment. I suggest something along the lines of, "So, I've never done the deed so to speak. Mind if we take it slow?"

You can also employ the old, "So, before we get into things, can I ask you how your first time was?" which lets you start up a conversation about it without putting all the pressure on yourself.

Good luck, anon!

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

You could be vague about it, like, "I don't have much experience."

Anxiety

[kaijinscendre]

Websites/Online Groups/Books/Advice for people with severe anxiety. My sister has some and I am trying to gather some resources to help her.

Re: Anxiety

[(Anonymous)]

meetup.com is a good combination of websites + groups. The slogan is "find your people", and while it sometimes takes a while, once you do it really does work. I met a group and I was able to get to know them through posts a bit beforehand, so when we finally did meet it wasn't awkward at all and I was 100% myself. So I definitely recommend that; it's a good way to segue into social situations.

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm going to a gynecologist tomorrow based on some issues I've been having. And it has been years since I've been to one for a variety of reasons. And I'm really nervous. Are there things I should expect? How do I calm my nerves?

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

I just wrote my first fic ever, but it is for a kink fill. Should I get one of my fanfic savy friends to beta read it? I would be spoiling them too, but they said they don't care. Is it better to beta read something like this? It's a little embarrassing.

He fell out of love with me

[(Anonymous)]

My boyfriend of the last seven years said he realized he only saw me as a friend a few days ago and wasn't in love with me anymore. He said he wanted to be alone+He saw me as a friend, so we could never be together again, and 'maybe' he'd feel differently about wanting to be alone, since he can't predict the future, but he'd never love me again, so he'd be with someone else. This is the man who said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, constantly told me how much he loved me, and how he could never see me as a friend, and how I was the only person he'd ever been in love with.

I don't know what to do. He keeps wanting to be friends, but since he isn't in love with me anymore, said he'd understand if I just walked out of his life forever. He said he'd feel 'weird' if I dated someone else, but it wouldn't bother him like it bothers me that he'll be with someone else someday. I'm so lost and confused, I don't know how someone's feelings can disappear as instantly as he claims. The day before I was his baby, and he was so glad to have me, the next I'm just a friend, one of many, absolutely nothing to him. I feel so overwhelmed, and memories keep popping into my thoughts when I don't want them to. It's like my body won't accept he's not the same man he was the day before, and all seven years earlier. I can't sleep, I barely eat, I just feel sick and alone.

I know I'm being selfish, I know I should walk away, but ever time I try there's this small voice in my head that's screaming, 'what if you can make him fall in love with you again!?" even though I know that's not possible. I really wish we'd never met, I don't want to feel like this, I don't want this.

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

How do I learn to hustle and advocate for myself, get myself to take more initiative?