[ SECRET POST #3531 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3531 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 47 secrets from Secret Submission Post #505.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

Because I saw something recently and it really skeeved me out.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

So I recently read a tumblr post about some person gushing about their work at a trans and genderqueer summer camp. Okay, great. But they kept naming the kids' names, which I thought was pretty skeevy. And a thing about it that struck me was that they were talking about several kids younger than 5 who were, supposedly, non binary.
And... that sounded massively questionable to me because what kid at that age is seriously going to self-identify as non binary? It really sounds like some faux-progressive parent pushing their beliefs on their child.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

I imagine most kids at that age don't quite get what male or female means other than outward cues like "girl wear hair ribbon! boy wear tie"

I have no idea how one would actively identify as nb or even understand the word "identity" in anything remotely like full context

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[shortysc22]

That seems unusual to me too. When I was 7, my best friend decided she wanted to be a boy and wear boy clothes. It was just a phase she went through, her parents let her go along with it, but it was a phase. I think at that young children are still figuring what things mean in general. That's not to say for some children that they do feel different that young, but not every child is the same.

And non-binary? I don't think anyone that young knows what that really means.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

yup, as a nb adult, i'd say that sounds like both a camp with questionable practices and a terribly irresponsible counselor.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[sparrow_lately]

This seems prescriptivist and p essentialist in itself?

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

I don't see any reason why it would be impossible for a kid not to display any particular identification as one gender or another. Defining that as "non-binary" is questionable but not, I don't think, intrinsically harmful. I'm not saying it's necessarily being executed in a great way, but, like, it's not some kind of horrible awful thing.

Using the kids' real name is probably shady.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

I think I saw that post. it was creepy how these young kids were parroting back college level worded definitions of non-binary and shit.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[greenvelvetcake]

It does seem a little weird, but as long as the camp mostly just explored gender roles and societal norms and didn't try to lock anyone into something (you think you want to be a girl, you must adhere to this forever), I don't see the harm. Although bringing in college-level theories is not a good way to approach kids.

All in all, doesn't sound like a fun camp.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

What does skeevy mean? Is that the new creepy?

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

It's a slang term broadly comparable in meaning and connotation to creepy, yes. I don't think it's the "new" creepy. It's just a different word.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/skeevy

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

OP
I'm ESL but as far as I understood it, skeevy is something that isn't quite creepy but still really rubs you the wrong way.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[greenvelvetcake]

Creepy/sleazy, but it's not new. It predates "sketchy."

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

In New York City it's pronounced "shkeevy" and is also a verb. "I shkeeve him!" It's Italian.

schif’/shkeeve – to be disgusted by something (schifo) [shkeef]

schifozz’ – disgusting thing (schifosa) [shkee-VOATZ]

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

Whenever people say other people who are "less fortunate" than them are so inspiring.

Just... it's not progressive to say you watched a woman in Africa walking to a well barefoot, thought of your air conditioned SUV and counted your blessings.

Nor is it progressive to tell someone in a wheelchair they're such an inspiration and they make you cry.

You aren't really being empathetic or aware. You're using someone else's life to feel good about yourself. That's gross.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

It's probably best to talk as little as possible to or about people who are "less fortunate" than you because no matter your intentions, someone will always think you're being gross.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, it's like here's a person just going about their life, getting their shit done... how can I make this all about ~*ME*~?

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[philstar22]

I think sex-positive feminism can be a bit dismissive of women who don't want or don't like sex or who are virgins. It should be about women making their own choices, not that everyone has to love sex.

Also, I think they are quick to ignore the problems with the porn industry and with prostitution as it is practiced in our world or to dismiss any criticisms of those things.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[sarillia]

I view sex positivity as support for all consensual sexual choices, so it should be equally positive about the choice to engage in sex and the choice to abstain, and yeah, a lot of people seem to disagree with me there.

TW: Rape

[(Anonymous)]

Both strands of feminism (sex-positive and sex-negative/sex-critical) have issues. But I've never had a sex-positive feminist try to shame me (a child sexual abuse survivor) for being an "accomplice after the fact" in my own molestation because I admitted to her I had sexual fantasies about being taken against my will.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

I guess I get a little on the radical side when it comes to sex positivity because at least when I was growing up, and for centuries previous, women were told they were NOT supposed to like sex and be virginal. In fact, there are still pretty big pockets of society who believe that.

That people like me with a high libido should be shamed for that, and those women not interested in sex or are virginal are put on a pedestal. In fact, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 27 because virgin-until-marriage and "lie back and think of England" was crammed down my throat until I finally found other women who reaffirmed that it was okay to *gasp* be interested in sex, and wanting to have it frequently.

I can see where those who don't care for it/prefer to abstain would take this swing of the pendulum just as personally as I did on the other side. Personally, it's 110% fine for me if someone has a low libido, is asexual, wants to be virginal, and I would never shame such a person.

All I ask is the same courtesy.

(I also do NOT dismiss the current problems with the sex trade. I am well aware many are forced into it. I would vastly prefer, and it would be in my utopian view of the world, that every worker be there of their own free will and have safe working conditions. But I have no magic wand or government ear to help make that happen in my country.)

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[(Anonymous)]

I wholeheartedly agree! If a woman wants to remain a virgin or doesn't want to sleep around with a lot of people she's looked at as weird and/or mocked.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy

[kallanda_lee]

Fighting cultural appropriation (not all of it, but some of it sounds just like an excuse for segregation) - worst in that line of thinking was actually people saying black people shouldn't have kids with white people cause they're the oppressors - and I was like, oh wow, horseshoe theory.

Re: Seemingly progressive things that actually sound skeevy /// disabilities ///

[(Anonymous)]

News stories about disabled people or someone being nice to disabled people where it wouldn't be news if the person wasn't disabled.

They always say the same patronizing thing "you get brownie points for being nice to a 'lesser' person." Or a disabled person is somehow remarkable because they do a mundane thing that happens to look cool or something.

Okay, a news story about an autistic guy who can draw entire city skylines after flying over them for five minutes is extraordinary. A little autistic girl who happens to be a talented artist isn't extraordinary. It's only 'extraordinary' because people assume she's incompetent or incapable of interacting with anyone. (I won't even go into how angry I get when nonverbal autistic people aren't seen as competent until they somehow 'prove' it, ie Carly Fleischmann.)

Just fuck all that shit.

Because somebody might ask: yes I am autistic myself.