[ SECRET POST #3702 ]

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⌈ Secret Post #3702 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #529.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Mental Issues Talk

[(Anonymous)]

Ask away.

How to deal with anger?

[(Anonymous)]

I have been very short tempered recently. I know it is a combination of the job I hate and some personal things. I have been really snappy and withdrawn in all areas of my life. I realized it was a problem today when my mom asked me not to be mad at her because she could not figure out her taxes (I said I would help her).

I am not normally like this. I am the one who takes care of my other family members and their depression/anxiety/money issues. So I don't know what I can do to curtail it.

Re: How to deal with anger?

[(Anonymous)]

De-stress, therapy, learn better coping mechanisms, maybe consider some marijuana if you are in a weed positive state.

Re: How to deal with anger?

[thewakokid]

I'll tell you, but you won't like it.

It's a doctors trip for you, I'm afraid. I know you're asking here for advice other than that, really, if you're mood and behaviour is changing in a noticeable way some form of therapy is the best and only realistic option.

Home brew "Count to ten and grind some stress balls" remedies and armchair phych are, In my own experience, a stopgaps at best.

Re: How to deal with anger?

[(Anonymous)]

I think most of the advice I could give you is just going to come down to finding a way to be in a better mental state generally. And there's no secret to that, I don't think.

The one more specific piece of advice I would give is: it's probably not a good idea to put yourself in a position where you have to be the one who takes care of your family members and their problems, and it's definitely not going to make your life better or easier for you to make that part of your self-identity. It's a good and noble thing to do but it's really, really, really, really, really important to balance it.

Re: How to deal with anger?

[philstar22]

I have too recently. I found myself getting really angry at drivers today. I restrained myself from honking, but I did yell at people who couldn't possibly hear me. And every little thing is irritating me. It is stress.

Find some time for yourself. Find some healthy way to let off steam (punch a pillow, run or swim or do some other excercise, distract yourself with things you enjoy)

Re: How to deal with anger?

[(Anonymous)]

I was in a similar situation a while back. I don't think other people really noticed a big change but I definitely noticed it I was getting annoyed easily and constantly preparing for arguments and it was terrible. It was also a combination of work stuff and personal problems. I was lucky in that I knew the work stuff was temporary, so after that was over a lot of it went away. So if you know the underlying causes and you can do sth about it, try that. If not, than just sort of accept it's out of your hands. That's easier said than done though. Make sure you get enough sleep. And alone time to recuperate if good too, but make sure to do fun things as well.

Try to notice when your thoughts are getting angry, I guess? Like I was having these arguments in my head all the time, preparing for when I'd have the 'real' ones with ppl who annoyed me. Except when the time came, the conversation wouldn't turn into an argument, they'd be pretty reasonable. Or I'd suddenly realize I didn't think it was worth getting us both all worked up over. So I'd spent days building up steam for nothing. Once you realize sth like that, it's easy to stop the next time you can feel yourself doing it again.

Good luck! Hope things get better soon

Re: How to deal with anger?

[(Anonymous)]

There are two very applicable sayings:

Don't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

Put your own oxygen mask on first.

It's admirable to help your family, but you can't do it at the expense of your own mental health. You might also be taking on too much simply because you're used to doing it and your family is, too. Take the tax issue. Your mother is an adult and presumably has been doing taxes for years. If she's unable to hire someone or use TurboTax, is there any particular reason why she can't get assistance from someone else besides you?

She can also call the IRS directly:

https://www.irs.gov/uac/irs-offers-new-toll-free-numbers-to-assist-taxpayers

In the meantime, you need to take some time for yourself and practice self care before you burn out. Your family will have to make do without you for a while - something they need to learn how to do anyway, because it's not good for you OR them to be so dependent on you.

Re: How to deal with anger?

[(Anonymous)]

Are you taking B12? Some people have a severe anger reaction to B12. (For other people, it can be great and amazing. And some people just have to be careful what kind they take.)

It's in a lot of vitamins; it's in a lot of energy drinks. Basically one size doesn't fit all for everyone, and it can have a really bad impact on your life if you're unable to process the artificial kind of B12.

Re: How to deal with anger?

[(Anonymous)]

P.S. On the vitamin front, taking niacin has been helping me a lot w/ anxiety issues and allergies.

Re: Mental Issues Talk

[philstar22]

Had three nightmares last night about failing the bar. Needless to say, I barely slept. And then I couldn't nap today. Which means I'll have to go to bed early tonight (which actually means early since I'm getting up at 5:30). Which means much less study time today than I planned. Bleh.

Made it through day 1. But honestly. Right now the only reason I care is that I don't want to let down my parents who paid for the stupid thing. If I fail, they'll have wasted their money. It just seems like if it weren't for that, I'd give up or do something bad. I'm that stressed. Not suicide bad. But, like, I found myself on the morning drive to the exam place thinking that if I got injured then I wouldn't have to take it.

Re: Mental Issues Talk

[(Anonymous)]

You can do this, you can get through this. You are in a position where (it sounds like) you're under a super intense amount of stress. That's not your fault and it's not a reflection on who you are. All it means is that something external is bearing down on you and causing you harm. Just do as best you can and the rest will come. Really pulling for you!

Re: Mental Issues Talk

[(Anonymous)]

Bar-taking anon: You've got this! I also didn't sleep much last night. I left the essay portion in some kinda shock. As trite as it is, all we can do is move forward.

Re: Mental Issues Talk

[(Anonymous)]

I hate catastrophizing things but I am also unstoppably prone to it and it's rather frustrating to see yourself in a pattern and yet be unable to break away from it

Re: Mental Issues Talk

[sarillia]

One of the ways I dealt with that was to push my thoughts into silly directions so that the catastrophes I was imagining made me laugh and broke up the flow of thoughts.

Long Panic Attacks

[(Anonymous)]

Does anyone here have long "panic attacks"? About 4-5 times a year, during times of extreme stress, I suffer from a "panic attack" that lasts anywhere from two days to two weeks.

During that period, I constantly feel like I need to take a deep breath, but I can't. I end up trying to induce yawns so I can get that deep breath feeling, which usually causes me to get a sore throat. And I also get muscle cramps and such from constantly tensing from the yawn inducing. I can sometimes feel a bit hazy from mild hyperventilating from the whole process.

I asked a psychology professor about it and he said it was a kind of panic attack. I asked my college therapist about it and she gave me breathing exercises (that don't really help).

It is also one of those things that don't bother me until I think about it. And then I can't stop thinking about it.

Re: Long Panic Attacks

[randomdrops]

Yup. I've never thought of it as a panic attack, but yeah I get that. And the more I think about it the worse it gets, so the only way I know how to deal is extreme diversions. Just constant "No. I am thinking about this." <-literally said out loud to myself sometimes.

tw suicidal thoughts talk

[(Anonymous)]

Kind of wondering about the point of my life and at the point (again) where I'm thinking I'm obviously not going to accomplish what I want (because I am old and wasting my life trying to pay bills etc) so why do I continue to live? It's just all so stupid, and I don't see the point, and I don't really think it's going to change so whyyyyyyyyyyy.

But I made a promise not to kill myself so here I am. Actions won't be taken, but that doesn't mean the feelings aren't still there.

Re: tw suicidal thoughts talk

[(Anonymous)]

You too, huh?

Re: tw suicidal thoughts talk

[(Anonymous)]

Is there anyone you can talk to, anon?

Getting out of my head?

[(Anonymous)]

I've got depression and anxiety. It's gotten way better since I found the right medication (went through 2 before this after the 1st stopped working). I'm in a better place right now. But I still cannot shake the imposter feeling.

I aged out of health insurance, but my mother pays for two psychologist appointments a month and my psychiatrist appointment. I know I'm lucky because I've got a full-time job that pays decently in my field. But at least once a week, I feel like a loser. I have health insurance on Exchange. I feel bad about needing my mother's help to pay for healthcare, but it would be very tough to afford on my own. I don't know, I feel like I don't deserve to be where I'm at, like I lucked into my job and everyone will see it one day. And I think I'm taking too long to cope with everything - I'm 26 and my mother got sober at 17 (and we worked hard together to rebuild the family), why am I not over my childhood trauma yet?

I've been working on my therapist with this. My therapist says I'm way harder on myself than anyone else. I know it's something like imposter syndrome and I try to counter it by reminding myself I worked hard to graduate, I found this job myself, I get good results, etc. It doesn't always work.

Does anyone else have tips for getting out of my head when I'm thinking this way? It's unproductive and makes me feel worse or get anxious. Sigh. Mental health is such a complicated process.

Re: Getting out of my head?

[(Anonymous)]

Practice redirecting your brain/train of thought. It takes a lot of work, and sometimes you have to constantly redirect because you'll find yourself wandering back to those negative thoughts. But it becomes easier over time.

I'd also suggest really working on getting to a point where you can pay for your own appointments. That'll probably go a long way to making you feel like a "real adult" and that you've taken concrete steps you can stack up in your brain as "evidence" when you need that kind of thing for yourself.

Re: Getting out of my head?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't have any tips but I do have a lot of the same issues. Where it feels like anything that I accomplish is meaningless and not worthwhile just by virtue of the fact that I accomplished it, you know?

So, I don't know. Good luck. Hugs if wanted. Don't have any better advice for you.

Re: Getting out of my head?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't have any good long term advice, seeing as how I have similar issues myself, but I know when I'm spiraling sometimes focusing on one of my hobbies for a bit can help distract and center me. (Baking and drawing work particularly well for me since they keep my hands busy and I can focus on the result.) Would something like that be helpful in this case?

Re: Mental Issues Talk

[(Anonymous)]

I know this might sound like a broken record, but I can't help wanting to share because it's helped me so fucking much.

I recently discovered niacin for mental health issues. Niacin (B3, the "regular" kind not the non-flushing compound) has made a HUGE difference in my anxiety and depression.

Also helped my allergies, cleared up my skin, etc. I mean it's just been amazing. Some people, either genetically or for another reason, need more niacin than they're getting in food or a

I recommend getting some (it's pretty cheap) and trying just a very small dose, and see if it helps your anxiety/depression.

When I first took it I felt this tremendous sense of peace. It's water soluble so it doesn't last, but that also means it's not something you can really OD on either.

Now I'm not saying don't do your research (srsly do your research) and there is a side effect that sometimes happens (a flushed feeling, kinda like sunburn, unpleasant but not actually dangerous). Anyway if you have a lot of anxiety, depression or other mental illness....please, please LOOK INTO THIS.

It was somewhat suppressed by drug companies. Pellagra was something caused by diets without enough niacin...when they started adding niacin to flour it stopped this disease...but it also lessened the cases of schizophrenia (as a lot of mental illness was then diagnosed).

It's THAT big a deal. Do you think your drug companies want you to try a cheap and harmless vitamin, when they can sell you endless drugs with scary side effects? I know the side effects of drugs seriously damaged my body. I couldn't take those things. They really hurt me.

Anyway yes I'm about as sensitive as it gets (or I was...I'm getting a lot healthier in all the ways!), but if I found a way to take niacin safely I think you guys can at least look into it and try...

I first heard about it on a Netflix documentary about food, then did some research from the internet and this book: Niacin: The Real Story: Learn about the Wonderful Healing Properties of Niacin

And basically I gave it a try and was so impressed that I've made it work, raising my dose slowly to keep feeling better, and enduring or finding ways around the occasional side effect. It's life changing so far, and I'm actually able to deal with some other things in life rather than constantly battling anxiety and depression. I'm actually...living.

So please, please, consider looking into this. Do your research. Give it a try, slowly. And if you're like me, and it can help...start living again.