fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4141 ]

[ SECRET POST #4141 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4141 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 39 secrets from Secret Submission Post #593.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Because they're crude, "stupid questions" or you just don't think anyone would have the answers.

Why are writing prompts so stupid 90% of the time?

"Write about a time you had lunch with your best friend." Do I look eight years old?

I think a lot of the time, they're really for novice writers. So they're simple because they're not for people necessarily trying to write short stories or novels, they're for people trying to construct a few decently-written paragraphs.

Also, some people like that sort of thing. Look at Reader's Digest. You have a story about some man who survived a bear mauling right before a "funny" story about someone who bought the wrong thing at the grocery store. Not exactly life altering the way the bear story was, but it works for people.

People like dumb stuff. In my writing classes in college, I always got the highest grades on the stupidest, most simplistic shit that took basically zero effort to write.

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-06 21:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-07 00:31 (UTC) - Expand

Why do people write fic they hate the canon for? I don't have anything against it, just find it confusing as for me, loving the canon is the only reason I'd ever write fic in the first place. Am I doing it that much differently than other people?

You can hate a canon on the whole, and still find specific elements of it interesting, or specific characters, or what have you

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-07 02:25 (UTC) - Expand

They like the characters. Or even just one of the characters.

I for one did it to mock the hell out of canon, except the satire went straight above the fangirls' heads.

People who play it straight may be in it just for the comments, or whatever.

I write fic of what I wish the canon would be. The writing in a couple of shows I started off loving quickly went downhill. I still love the premise of the show and the early seasons, and I got attached to the characters and I hate that the writers made them miserable to create more drama when the show got less popular.

I write because I want to recapture the feeling I had when I still did love the show.

I write way more fic for canons that I dislike than for canons that I’m satisfied with—specifically, fix-it fic to save characters I like, or to explore dynamics that I feel were underserved in canon, or to plug plotholes.

Sometimes characters are compelling even if their storylines aren't. Sometimes two actors have chemistry, even if the writing sucks. Sometimes you just wanna fix up a few things for the fandom to enjoy. Sometimes it's just sheer boredom.

How can you be NB when you use the pronouns of a specific gender and dress firmly within the socially acceptable frames of a specific gender?

Asking becaues someone like this was on the news to talk about being NB.

With pronouns, some people use pronouns they grew up with because that's the ones they used to, or else they use pronouns other people are familiar with so they can fly under the radar, or any number of reasons. For dressing, NB people can dress like a man/woman for the same reason a man can wear a dress and a woman can wear a suit, they're clothes they like. I guess it just depends on the individual and their preferences and life. If they feel like non binary fits them on the inside, then power to them. Ain't no skin off my back.

Because you're ready to be out to people who aren't your family who have a high chance of kicking you out and it's just fucking easier like this so RL friends don't have to worry about slipping up.

Gender stuff is so confusing to me.

Recently I watched a true crime type show about a person that went missing, where their friends and family were interviewed. The missing person was described as transgender, and was born male, so you'd think they'd be using female pronouns. After using "he" for several minutes into the program, the narrator says "the family says he, so we're going to say he". It was kind of pissing me off, because it's not cool to misgender someone just because their family does it. Except the person's grandmother (who seemed to be the most supportive one in the family) said "she" while everyone else, including their roommates (who were also described as trans, so you'd think they'd be respectful of pronouns), said "he".

Then at one point the person is described as a "transgender male" when I feel like they should've said "transgender woman". Then the two roommates, who are both described as "transgender women"...one is called "he" and the other is called "she" by the narrator. The victim's grandmother calls the one the narrator called "he" "she", which I think is probably right, if this person identifies as a trans woman. But if they're both trans women, why is one called "he" and one called "she"? If the narrator was trying to just be a douche and call them by the wrong pronouns, why the inconsistency?

Then the missing person's siblings, who call them "he" the entire time, say "he didn't necessarily consider himself male or female" and showed pictures of them wearing both typically male and female clothing at different times. So I started thinking, well, maybe this person was actually genderfluid or non binary and everyone's just saying transgender because they don't know that genderfluid or non binary are things. Then there's the mom saying "he considered himself a woman" which takes me back to being pissed off that someone who identified as a woman is constantly being referred to as "he". And there's this constant conflation of gay and transgender, and...the whole thing was a giant mess.

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-07 16:17 (UTC) - Expand

while I'm all for not policing how someone feels on the inside, nonbinary is such a fucking...god, it's the worst of this whole hornet's nest because it really calls into question just how far you can go before you're reinforcing gender stereotypes instead of trying to break out of them. when you've done a full 360 and warped all the way back around to "girls wear dresses and like to shop and boys like sports and trucks and gosh today I feel like I like trucks so teehee I must be NB." like. that can't be how it works. it just can't, or else you end up in a paradox. if that's how gender works then everyone is NB which means no one is actually NB.

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-06 23:06 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-07 16:23 (UTC) - Expand

"nonbinary" basically means "I have bought into the bullshit that is gender essentialism so fucking hard that I literally cannot conceive of it being possible to transcend, or exist as a person outside of, rigid traditional gender stereotypes. If I or anyone else is more complex than the tiny box that the almighty gender essentialism has decreed we must fit into, that means that we must not HAVE a gender, because EVERYONE knows that all men who are really men are exactly the same and all women who are really women are exactly the same, and I am Not Like Other Girls, Or Boys, As The Case May Be."

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-07 05:14 (UTC) - Expand

I've been confused about this too. There's one person I see a lot on Tumblr (I don't follow them but one of the people I do follow does and reblogs them a lot) who calls themselves nonbinary and makes a whole deal about it, but every time they post selfies it's all pastel long hair and bright red lipstick and retro dresses, which just makes it feel to me like they're just nobinary for minority points.

Anyone light haired people here get random dark, stiff hairs? I especially get random ones in my mole. And they drive me crazy if I can't immediately pluck them.

All the time!

Yeah i get a few of those

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-06 21:36 (UTC) - Expand

One time I read a magazine article about a homeless teen who lived with her cousin (or maybe it was a close friend), but her cousin kicked her out when her boyfriend moved in. I've always wondered what kind of horrible person would kick out their family member/friend in favor of their boyfriend...

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-06 21:14 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-06 21:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-06 21:35 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-07 02:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-06 21:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-06 23:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Questions you can't ask IRL or online non-anon

(Anonymous) - 2018-05-07 01:35 (UTC) - Expand

Can people with young kids maintain close friendships with people who aren't parents?

I have already lost one of my best friends to this. I got friend-dumped if that's a thing, because her new social group said I couldn't understand her priorities or values. Blah blah blah. After I'd already clocked a zillion hours of actual butt wiping and indulged all of her excitement over the baby doing new things or wearing new things. I loved that kid too. He called me auntie cass. I'm still devastated.

And now my one remaining best friend is pregnant, and I'm having feelings.
I love her and I'm going to love this kid, but I just want some kind of hope that they won't just disappear from my life because I don't fit perfectly in theirs.