[ SECRET POST #5461 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5461 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 37 secrets from Secret Submission Post #782.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

Say whatever you want into the not-quite-void.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

It is only a week until Christmas. And then we have to start getting ready to do it all over again next year.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

Paprika makes everything better, when in doubt just add paprika.

Re: What's on your mind?

[tabaqui]

No lies detected.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

nah my go-to now for slightly spicy is ancho chili powder. still spicy, slightly smoky.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

Smoked Hungarian for the win!

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

The quickest way to get a teenager to dump a hobby is to insist they teach themselves how to do it.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm confused by this. As someone who used to be a teenager who taught themselves all of their hobbies (except bowling because coaches exist), is it a bad thing to teach yourself?

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

I think it depends on the teen, and there's also the question of balance. I liked some guidance, but I also liked learning things on my own even if I made mistakes. The problem with my parents is that they wanted me to learn things the Right Way (i.e. their way, and only their way) and anything else was Wrong and I wasn't doing it right. That was a real enthusiasm killer.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

I usually love Christmas, but this year I don't feel Christmassy at all. I just want all the faff over with already.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

Have you tried listening to Wham? I' reliably informed that that makes it genuinely feel like Christmas.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

I was in total "bah, humbug" mode until I made cookies. Now I am still about 80% in bah humbug mode - but at least there are cookies.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

It feels like Tor is the only major SF&F publisher with a significant online presence in terms of blogging, social media, content, etc and it makes very little sense to me. It is much easier for me to find out what Tor is publishing compared to other companies and it absolutely makes me more likely to read and buy Tor books.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

It is just a shame their website is so damn buggy, and demands an account to interact with them on it. Or a captcha, but fuck captchas.

Re: What's on your mind?

[pantswarrior]

Half-tempted to unfriend one of my aunts on Facebook even though generally I like her and she posts neat stuff.

Just at least once a day she also posts some stupid meme about how boomers are the greatest generation ever and no one else will ever be as cool, and/or millennials are useless fools who can't do anything for themselves. And I am so freaking tired of that, despite not being a millennial.

I confronted her finally on one of the dumb memes that claimed that millennials don't know how to cook and don't eat anything other than Burger King, and asked if this was satire because SERIOUSLY? She got all defensive and I had to point out to her that there are millennials that are 40, with kids and sometimes (very young) grandkids now. Do you really think that so many of them raised a family on just fast food? And she admitted she was talking about like... her grandkids and their friends who are in their early 20s. Meaning, not millennial.

And frankly even if she called out Gen Z on not knowing how to cook yet, screw that too. Screw all the stupid generational one-upmanship BS. Things can be different without being better or worse, much less sticking an entire generation's worth of people with the same insulting labels.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

I thought the Greatest Generation was the greatest generation, I mean, it is right there in the name.

At least The Greatests, Silents, and earlier knew the value of convenience and were thrilled at the thought their descendants wouldn't be spending their lives trying to assemble meals from scratch. Only the Boomers could be nostalgic for compulsory hardships.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

There is plenty to enjoy about following things as they come out, instead of finding them after they're all done. I have fond memories of getting in on canons before all the juicy stuff happened and being there when it happened.

Then there's the stomach-turning feeling when something bad has just happened and you're not going to get a resolution for a while, and that's assuming it's even resolved in the very next episode which isn't always likely, and you're sitting there wondering if you're going to feel like this for the next week, two weeks, month, or however often episodes come.

Just, just hug me please, fictional characters are suffering and I hate it

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

I have a shitty family. I wish there was one person in the immediate family who's nice. (At least I know how to act like a decent person.) No, since my grandmother died, which was a long time ago - no-one.

Just had another bust-up with the sister I was still talking to. I thought, "I'll go along and do the decent thing" but no. I lasted less than five minutes.

I think it was William Gibson who said, "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes." How right he was. I wonder what my life had been if I'd had a kind family? Or even a halfway decent one?

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

Pantone has announced their color of the year, Veri Peri.

https://www.pantone.com/color-of-the-year-2022

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm an idiot with no real friends. I'm too cowardly to ever say what's really on my mind, because god forbid someone get offended or get mad at me. I don't know how to make new friends I can actually trust in the age of too-many-selfish-adult-toddlers-incapable-of-doing-the-bare-minimum-of-giving-a-fuck-about-another-human-life-and-pushing-covid-further-toward-endemic-status. Money issues suck. I wish I could afford a house, but I also don't know where I'd choose to "settle." I fear for USA's future, though that's not new. I hope people aren't getting complacent but who the fuck knows. Still, doomsday-only-speaking assholes piss me off. I wish everyone would just do and be better, myself included.

Re: What's on your mind?

[philstar22]

Naps are a beautiful thing. Why is it sometimes easier to sleep in a nap than at night?

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

I hate my (long) hair. I can't braid behind my head so I do side braids but if they're off center it'll pull my whole head sideways. And buns? Get out of here! If they aren't right up top I'll get a woping headache. Only the awful memory of dealing with my hair when it's short keeps me from hacking it all off.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm really embarrassed at how out of shape I've gotten in the last two years. The pandemic hasn't/isn't being kind to my mental state but I'm on new meds and I'm doing a little better and so I'm starting to get back into the shit I used to do easily and it's so embarrassing how little I can do now compared to two years ago.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like lots of people, maybe because the pandemic kicked their coping mechanisms to the curb, are discovering/thinking they have ADHD these days, and getting diagnosed and stuff.

I have executive dysfunction up the wazoo, and always have, but that doesn't an ADD or ADHD diagnosis make.

I remember the mulch of paper and leaking pens in my desk and backpack in elementary school, being pulled out of reading time and sent to the special ed class to practice handwriting because mine looked like I'd been holding the pen with my toes and was often illegible even to me, but I had an insane vocabulary and had to have books pulled from my death grip to stop me reading all the time, and few friends, getting fewer every year.

I've never been diagnosed with anything, but the only thing I would be stunned not to have is anxiety. I've been depressed, to the tune of dropping out of college, but I'm not now, unless a bad PMS day or two per month count.

Back before Asperger's syndrome seemed to be the hot new diagnosis, my mom excitedly showed me some articles about it and said "look, I found you!"

... I had a meltdown because dammit, the descriptions sounded just like me, but it was bad enough that I and everyone around me knew I was a weirdo, like fuck did I want to give my bullies a weaponized name like "ass-burger" to hurl at me.

Now, over two decades later, Asperger's has been folded back into ASD, and I've left school bullies behind. I guess it would be safe to be tested now.

But aside from the effort involved in making an appointment, my anxiety rears up every time I think of getting evaluated...

What if I'm not autistic, what if I don't have ADHD, or depression, or PTSD, or knock-on effects from being born three months early, and I'm just a disorganized mess with no social skills and an encyclopedic knowledge of pointless random shit, headed down the road to hoarderdom, who can sort of clean my floor or hold down a full time job, but not both?

I can power through insane projects if I have a current obsession as fuel, but eye contact is torture and hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills are for other people. When I can force myself to clean, I get distracted and end up organizing one bookshelf, or sorting my socks by color, or whatever, instead of picking everything off the floor and putting it away. I've watched other people and they just... do stuff, even boring stuff, and are happy they got it done instead of just glad to stop doing it.

It would be nice if my big problem was ADHD. There are meds for that. People get labeled drug seekers just for needing them, but there aren't really (legal) drugs that bestow executive function otherwise. Even SSRIs for depression might help, if I was depressed. But I'm not. Just frustrated rn, as I type this instead of getting shit done.

Also, so long as I'm rambling, it would be nice to be able to see a mental health professional within the week for a routine appointment. I know from friends and family that my HMO is decent at getting people in crisis in for help ASAP, but I have a steady benefitted full time job, a house, keep myself and my pets alive, exercise and leave the house regularly, and am not suicidal. So the soonest I can see someone in person is three months out, assuming I remember to call the scheduling hotline a month from now to make an appointment in three months; I tried a couple times and gave up after being on hold for an hour and then learning everything was booked. I hate phone calls. I'm glad not to be in crisis, but it would be nice to be seen and helped before I get that bad.

I don't think I'm getting worse, exactly, but being promoted to my current position and hours, when I used to be hourly and then half time, means I just don't have time and energy anymore to put towards cleaning and organizing, since I need a day to psych myself up to do it, a day to do it, and a day to lay on the couch like a dehydrated worm on the sidewalk afterwards.

Not giving up the job, though. I'm not rich, but it's the first time in my life I haven't been constantly -- this close to broke.

Re: What's on your mind?

[(Anonymous)]

Frustrated at not having a house, at not being able to afford a house. Tired of apartment living (though I understand that home ownership doesn't necessarily solve the problem of neighbors who suck). I just want to be able to be loud and sing and make noise without pissing someone else off. Everything so stifling, and I hate how loud everything is, echoing everywhere, especially me if I so much as speak a word.