fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6030 ]

[ SECRET POST #6030 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6030 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 25 secrets from Secret Submission Post #862.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Have to agree with this anon. "Lying" is not even an across the board social faux pas, let alone a mortal sin. And if someone's morality is so black-and-white that there's no room for a person to lie about anything, ever, I probably don't want to be anywhere near them. That's evangelical-grade moral absolutism.

And yet here you are in the thread started by a person you said you didn’t want to be anywhere near.

Look, I didn’t go into any other comments and start throwing shit at the multiple people who said they also lie. I wasn’t even an asshole to the person who came into my thread and said they used to do that. I think it’s shitty behavior to lie to someone’s face and if someone does it to me I cannot trust them about anything. Ever. Even if it’s a lie YOU think is ok.

But I do wonder at the many people in this thread that imply it wouldn’t erode their trust in someone. It is human nature to trust someone less when you know they lied to you. It’s a nearly universal mammalian trait.

At work I don’t put my subordinates into positions where they feel they have to lie because then I cannot objectively perform their reviews. But if any of the people I do lightly socialize with lie to me I avoid having anything to do with them again. And more often than not the people who compulsively lie about things you don’t think matter also go on to lie about much bigger things. Not always but damn close.

I do wonder a bit also if some of this isn’t a matter of imaging vastly different scenarios: I’m speaking about actual occurrences that took place face to face in which someone repeatedly pretended something that wasn’t true. I wouldn’t judge someone on social media the same way if it were something like a tumblr post or a tweet or anything like that. I also wouldn’t care as much if it were a passing stranger but then again, I wouldn’t be in that kind of situation so that’s a moot point. I’m only ever in that position with people I am around regularly and have to have some measure of trust with. “Is Linda telling the truth about what happened? Or is she lying to cover her ass? She IS the type to lie about being a fan of a tv show she’s never seen.” Yeah, that’s a real thing. And in Linda’s case she was lying to cover her ass and no one trusts her even a little but HR recommended to the bosses not to fire her so most everyone tries to avoid having anything to do with her.

It was published well over a century ago, nonny, are you surprised that its mores are not those of 2023? The past is another country, etc.

AYRT

All of this. You put everything I was alluding to in much more specific terms than I could have. And I think it's a shame that the person I replied to decided to come and entrench in "I'm a survivor too, and that gives me every right to be maximally judgmental about anyone ever lying, about anything, no matter how trivial!"

Much as I disagree with that, I'm going to assume they're doing the best they can, too.

But I think you did a lot of other anons who were wondering "why would anyone lie about having watched a show?" a favor by explaining. Because most people who don't think like that, and wouldn't be gleefully exclusionary and cruel to someone over nothing, can't imagine what it's like to be on the recieving end of that, if they haven't been.

TOP

And I think it's a shame that the person I replied to decided to come and entrench in "I'm a survivor too, and that gives me every right to be maximally judgmental about anyone ever lying, about anything, no matter how trivial!"
That didn’t happen.

I’m not required to trust anyone who has proven they are liar even if you would. That’s it. That’s all.

I totally get why you lie about this.

Because I had to work on feeling guilty when I tell people that I've never watched a show.

Short term, it's easier to tell people that you watch a show they do and chitchat about it real quick.

In my experience, there are some people who see the statement, "I haven't watched it," as a challenge to get the other person to give in and watch the show.
And being on the receiving end of that exchange can be so fucking tiring.
I just...am picky about shows I watch. It's not about quality or who is starring in it or if the premise is original, etc. It's just...often I am more turned off to tuning in the more people keep telling me to watch it.

This. When I like a fucked-up ship, it's always BECAUSE it's fucked up. That's the whole draw. Take that away and I wouldn't be into the ship in the first place.

I think you’re mistaking someone else’s comment for mine. The one about trauma reasons for mistrust isn’t me. My reasons have nothing to do with trauma and nowhere did I claim that they do. I just flat out don’t trust anyone who isn’t honest. I don’t know if it’s a location thing or a career field thing or a generation thing but in my experience, compulsive lying is extremely rare in adults and not trusting compulsive liars is extremely common. If the teens next door me lied to me I’d second guess some things they say over the next few years but ten years from now I wouldn’t because in my experience very young people lying to fit in or seem older or more worldly or cool is common. But after around 22 or 23 that behavior is character defect.

I'm in a similar boat! If I intend to watch it and don't want spoilers, I'll tell them, and will usually watch it quickly thereafter to share in the excitement with a friend.

If it's on my list and not something I feel like watching Right Now, I'll happily let them chatter away and spoil me on things, but will also fondly think of my friend if I ever do get around to watching the thing, and will look forward to the bits they really seemed to like.

Of all those, Buffy’s early season two bob was my favorite! It suited her so perfectly and was just a gorgeous style.

Yeah, you've got a point. It's very much subjective, sometimes you can just see something "off" but not be able to articulate what it is. To be fair, I have seen a LOT worse than this. These are, as someone above said, passable.

+1 but make that two years

It looks dumb that they're wearing a BAD wig.

It highly depends on the skin tone, especially on the undertones, like more yellow, pink or fairly neutral. Different shades of white blond/platinum look better or worse with certain skin tones.

They write like an MLM hun lol.

I have over 2 dozen fics I'm in the middle of writing.

Legoslooooofhhh!! Loooooove him, hehehe! He cute af! <3 <3 <3

Your takeaway from someone lying to avoid being bullied is that the /bullies/ don't trust them anymore? Get over yourself.

DA you complimented the anon on having worked to improve themselves, but that doesn't mean you weren't an asshole to them. Maybe you should consider working on yourself in a similar vein so that your own experiences don't filter into others, like now.

Do you want an award for your moral integrity? Do you really not understand how trauma can produce an instinct to lie for self-protection?

+1

And I do remember people complaining about the GoT wigs, but this is another level, simply because there's so many

Yes! Toning would have been amazing here!

It's weird that you put so much value into whether someone watched a show or not.
Some shows are so same-y I will go "no, I haven't watched it" only to later remember I did, sometimes absent-mindedly or not very invested, or "oh yes I have" until I remember for whatever reason I was going to watch it but didn't. It's just... not that important, for me, whether I have watched a show or not. I have watched millions of shows and not watched a bazillion. It's just not that important.
If you ask me "are you a fan of the thing?" I can answer more accurately, because it's either "yes let's talk about it" or "no".

People like you are a blessing. I am a bad watcher, but a great listener, so I have a lot of secondhand knowledge about shows I have never watched because people I care/d for wanted to gush about them and I didn't mind listening. Sometimes they would sound kinda interesting but I don't always feel like watching every mildly interesting thing either.

Dunno I find men my own age or older more attractive. Yes, it includes gray hair, boldness and not so perfect bodies. Also wrinkles are attractive af!
And I reeeeaaaallly wouldn't prefer uncanny valley hell. That's just creepy. So speak for yourself

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[ SECRET POST #6030 ]

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