case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2023-07-10 04:36 pm

[ SECRET POST #6030 ]


⌈ Secret Post #6030 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 25 secrets from Secret Submission Post #862.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
kaijinscendre: (simba)

[personal profile] kaijinscendre 2023-07-10 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
A friend in college loved the Mortal Instruments series. She wanted me to read them so badly she gave me like the first 4 books. I tried my best but I hate them. So I would read a detailed summary of the book, return it, rinse and repeat for the others. Had favorite characters and everything, lol.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-10 10:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Damn, hope this friend is worth it. I couldn't make it through the first book in the series and any friend who doesn't understand that I'm not obligated to love what they love is not going to be a close friend for long.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-10 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I do the same thing. I’m not proud of it, but I do.
randomdrops: (Default)

[personal profile] randomdrops 2023-07-10 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't lie about watching something, but I definitely lie about knowing what they're talking about and absolutely lie about planning to watch it.

I have also stretched the truth about books people lend me to read. I've read some but am so bored by them I skim the middle and read the end.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
Thus far, I have been entirely forthcoming about the bazillion things I have not watched, and most of the ones that I don't plan to look up. When people figure out this means that I don't mind spoilers and I am perfectly willing to treat whatever they consider important about canon the actual point of the story, and let them retell scenes to their heart's content (which they can't do around people who already saw it), this tends to go over pretty well.

Though I do have a few friends who insist on pouting about my general avoidance of television and movies. And, as you can imagine, most people take actual years to really get that if the sentence starts with "have you watched ..." the answer is probably "no."

Just thought you might find it interesting to compare notes on approaches to the question, OP.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
And, as you can imagine, most people take actual years to really get that if the sentence starts with "have you watched ..." the answer is probably "no."

Unfortunately, yeah, some people do take awhile to figure that out. I have someone who asked if I’ve seen the latest episode of a show every week, even though the answer was always “no” before.
tabaqui: (Default)

[personal profile] tabaqui 2023-07-11 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
Yes! I will probably not watch the thing you're excited about, but i am more than happy to have you tell me all, and point out your favorite bits, etc.
Even if i DO watch, I'll have forgotten about it by the time I get around to it.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 05:56 am (UTC)(link)
I'm in a similar boat! If I intend to watch it and don't want spoilers, I'll tell them, and will usually watch it quickly thereafter to share in the excitement with a friend.

If it's on my list and not something I feel like watching Right Now, I'll happily let them chatter away and spoil me on things, but will also fondly think of my friend if I ever do get around to watching the thing, and will look forward to the bits they really seemed to like.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
I did this too until I finally resigned to be "the person who doesn't watch anything". And I really don't! Not enough time or patience for it. While I do enjoy some things, guess I enjoy fandom and derivative works/meta/etc more than the actual pieces of media, and I "like what I like" so some of the things I enjoy are FAIRLY obscure and others I wouldn't admit to liking. So when asked my default answer is "no" and I get a lot of "how come you don't watch anything?!" . It's great to be that person!

But back when I lied I was probably way worse than you, OP. Once I roleplayed (for months) an OC who sang songs from a movie I have not watched to this day. I only read the lyrics on songmeanings/SOMETIMES listened to the song on YT as I went, lol. "That song's scene is great!" oh yeah bet it is.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
I’ve met people like this and sucks tbh. I can tell they’re lying and I don’t understand why and I’m unable to trust them about literally anything as a result. If you haven’t seen something or have only seen part of it, just say so! The topic can shift to something else or I can still talk about the thing but in a way that’s tailored for someone who hasn’t seen it and leaves them space to contribute to the conversation. Otherwise I’m stuck doing it all myself knowing the whole time I’m wasting my breath talking to a lying sack of shit.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
I’m wasting my breath talking to a lying sack of shit.

Take it down a few notches. They lied about a TV show. It’s understandable to feel untrusting after this, but this level of aggression and insults isn’t understandable.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
That's harsh. I've known people who are very traumatized from bullying and have to trust me a lot to circle back around, eventually, and admit that actually they didn't watch something or don't understand a reference. The fear of being the only one who doesn't know what everyone else is talking about, and the social consequences of admitting it, follows them around decades afterwards.

People lie for a lot of reasons. It doesn't mean they're attacking you.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
+10000


(Some people might consider this a traumadump, so you can ignore this response if you don’t want to read my full response)


Most of my lying was when I was a teenager who’s “friends” would exclude him if he didn’t watch all the things they did. There was no “Oh, you haven’t watched it? Let me gush about it!” that other anons get from these people. And that was just one of the many ways they bullied me. Excluding me was just the tip of the iceberg of that psychological and emotional abuse glacier.

I had to unlearn so much of my coping mechanisms when they were finally out of my life for good. But it wasn’t always easy, and I would still unthinkingly lie, even about silly things like movies I hadn’t seen, to protect myself. Before I reminded myself that my new friends wouldn’t do what my bullies did, and I’m not in highschool anymore. I’ve been much more honest since I unlearned the behaviors. Therapy helped, and so did my family and new friends.

So yeah, I don’t appreciate the implication by association that teenage me was a “lying sack of shit”. AYRT’s self-righteous and black and white comment makes me feel defensive, and I can’t help it. Because there’s nuance for why some people lie. Sometimes it is for simple reasons, but it’s usually not. And the reasons are almost always definitely not to attack the person being lied to. But for fear of being verbally attacked themselves in some cases.

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(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
It doesn’t matter to me why they lied, it only matters that they lied. If someone cannot be honest about minor stuff like watching a tv show or movie, then obviously I am not going to trust them about anything. You can excuse it all you want but that doesn’t mean I have to *shrug* Good on them if they eventually work on failings and decide to be honest people but it’s ridiculous to assume everyone is suddenly going to believe them about anything.

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(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
People can have trauma reasons why they lie. But also people can have trauma reasons for hating when they are being lied to. So
And even without black and white strong response I don't think a lot of people enjoy being lied to. So people making this small lies are doing themselves a disservice

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe you come off as someone who would be pushy about watching a show?

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(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Gonna be honest you sound like an awful person to talk to anyway, but listen. If someone is going on and on every day about recing shows to me and have not listened to me saying I am not interested and I don't watch much TV or Movies, then yeah I'm going to give a harmless white lie about having seen it just so they will back off and we can move on to a different topic.

You sound very simple minded and the epitome of lacking imagination and nuance. Might be something to reflect on.

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(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
...why? It's just a show. Tbf I have a difficulty confessing I don't know something (working on it), but this is a bit baffling.
Also I am one of those people who go "you are not going to watch it? Cool, let me tell you about this plot point I find interesting!"

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 09:27 am (UTC)(link)
People like you are a blessing. I am a bad watcher, but a great listener, so I have a lot of secondhand knowledge about shows I have never watched because people I care/d for wanted to gush about them and I didn't mind listening. Sometimes they would sound kinda interesting but I don't always feel like watching every mildly interesting thing either.

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(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
I only do this to certain people who can't take no for an answer. Like when a friend was telling me how Game of Thrones was the BEST THING EVER OMG HOW HAVE YOU NOT WATCHED IT??
And eventually I had to just pretend that I tried watching it, but wasn't my thing. Thank good for the internet and wikipedia lol.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
I totally get why you lie about this.

Because I had to work on feeling guilty when I tell people that I've never watched a show.

Short term, it's easier to tell people that you watch a show they do and chitchat about it real quick.

In my experience, there are some people who see the statement, "I haven't watched it," as a challenge to get the other person to give in and watch the show.
And being on the receiving end of that exchange can be so fucking tiring.
I just...am picky about shows I watch. It's not about quality or who is starring in it or if the premise is original, etc. It's just...often I am more turned off to tuning in the more people keep telling me to watch it.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 10:50 am (UTC)(link)
+100

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 09:57 am (UTC)(link)
This entire thread baffles me and is probably yelling "you're ND" at my face. Actual "childhood compulsive lying" aside, there was a time in my life when I watched seasonal anime, and if you've ever been in that place you know that means watching up to 20 episodes in a week plus whatever you're trying to catch up on. There are shows I *know* I have watched because I tried to watch the same episode five times but didn't get invested at all, and if you ask me anything about it I won't remember. And I'm often able to remember the art style, color pallettes, general motifs/vibes but the story itself, or name a character? Pshh. For most of them I genuinely wouldn't know whether I finished watching or dropped on episode 2 if I didn't have a backlog. Sometimes I forgot to use the backlog, some shows I watched I have less memories of than others I haven't watched but read spoilers for.

When it comes to anime from those eras the question "have you watched..." often deserves a "...maybe?" from me. Pretty sure I may have come across as a liar before for saying I watched something I didn't remember much about, but if you asked me whether I am a fan of the series I would be able to answer accurately, because I only ended up becoming a fan of 1 or 2 series every season and can at least name scenes, characters, ships that interested me at that point in time. But generally I tend to forget details unless I have been very active in the fandom meta for too long.

And honestly I feel like it's the same for compulsive shows-watchers or movie-goers, all those people who'll rot in a chair watching Netflix. When people say "have you watched!!?!?!?" they often mean "isn't this thing amazing???" but maybe you didn't think so, maybe you only... watched and moved on. Maybe this is why I feel happier ever since I became the "no, I haven't" person, because now I only watch things that *really* interest me, meaning I seldom watch anything but at least remember when I do and don't have to be in the tight spot of "should I say I might have but don't remember anything, or...?" . In that sense, it's weird to me that others put so much value in the question of "have you watched...?" but I understand it's because they actually mean "can we gush about the thing?". And what I want to say is: maybe I have but if so it didn't catch my attention, maybe I watched it on a bad day, but yes, you can gush about the thing, maybe then I will remember the thing or get interested if I haven't watched it yet.

(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 02:48 pm (UTC)(link)
It's not lying though? You don't remember watching the show, you tell people you don't remember. It's not lying, it's stating facts. You don't remember much. It's not active lying as written in the secret

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