[ SECRET POST #6551 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6551 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 06 secrets from Secret Submission Post #936.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[case]

Name the fandom. And repeats, etc.

(If you think something in this thread is a troll, please ignore it! Conversation is fine, but OT wank makes stuff harder to keep track of in this thread. Thanks.)

(frozen comment)

[fscom]

DAILY LINKS:

General comments → Off-topic discussion thread

Games thread → Thread for games/memes/etc.

Politics thread → Thread for explicitly non-fandom politics/political news

[fscom]

01. https://i.imgur.com/Lxjisim.png

[(Anonymous)]

I am gonna laugh if the comments to this secret tell OP to stop demanding people change their behavior.

[greghousesgf]

damnit, now I want black and white cookies

[(Anonymous)]

I've always wondered why people talk openly about what they dislike in fandom. If it's not an attempt to change behavior, what is it? Just venting? Wishing there was more of what you want? Being hangry lol?

I mean obviously this doesn't apply to this community because venting is the point. But it seems like if you're criticizing whatever thing in fandom at large, your negativity is kind of just attracting the same?

[(Anonymous)]

Nice choice of photo, secret maker. Now I'm hungry for sweets.

[(Anonymous)]

For sure. One of my secrets got roasted for this reason.

[starfleetbrat]

oh boy, those cookies remind me of Neenish tarts and now I want one.

[(Anonymous)]

I do get what you mean, but sometimes the way someone's dislike gets expressed matters.

"I don't understand how anyone can like CultFavoriteShow." - Sort of suggests that people are wrong for liking it, absent any other context.
"Why do people like StoicDude/SmartassDude?" - May be rhetorical, but it's really an invitation for people to tell exactly why StoicDude is interesting, why SmartassDude is fun, and why their dynamic works.
"BigSpectacleMovie sucks, why are movies like this even made?" - Sort of implies that people who like it (and similar movies) don't matter.

And then there's the cumulative effect - after several comments from different sources about disliking the BrightShiny someone likes, each subsequent comment might feel like an attack, no matter how it gets said.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think that's the result of antis. There have always been people who take it super personally when someone dislikes or is critical of a thing that they like, and that's ultimately what this is.

[(Anonymous)]

0/10, you threw the word antis in right at the start. too obvious.

[(Anonymous)]

As someone who was in fandom before the anti phenomenon happened, people might be a *little* more sensitive about that post-antis, but definitely before antis happened, it was VERY frequent that if you say "I don't like X" or "It bothers me there's so much X in fandom," people absolutely WOULD take that as you saying "You're not allowed to like/do X" or "I dislike you personally because you like/do X" and would react really defensively as a result.

It's not really an anti thing, it's more about people feeling judged or insecure for liking what they like, and people on the internet being careless about stating their negative opinions and not realizing it will reach the ears of people who strongly disagree (like a person above said, *how* you word a negative opinion matters -- saying, "No offense against people who like this, but one of my personal pet peeves is X. I try to avoid it but there's just so much of it in fandom!" vs. "X objectively sucks and I'm tired of seeing so much of it in fandom" or "I don't understand why people write X -- it's SOOO out of character" makes a huge difference in what people interpret you to be saying/doing (personal venting vs. trying to change other people's behavior or making an objective claim about the badness of something when it's just your opinion)).

I have a friend who always carefully words her negative opinions in fandom, puts in caveats and softening language ("I know I'm being a brat here but" etc. etc.) and puts appropriate warnings so people know what the post is about and can skip it if it's not to their interests. It's not because she's been attacked by antis but because she herself remembers feeling really insecure about having favorite characters or tropes that fandom would regularly shit on, and feeling unwelcome in fandom spaces because people would state their negative opinions very confidently and flippantly. She's super aware that someone's yuck is someone else's yum so she's careful not to rain on a parade that someone else might be enjoying, you know? She's one of the few people on Tumblr who I can stand to read intense fandom discourse opinions from, because she's always quite nuanced about it rather than just "I'M right and YOU'RE wrong." She's very consistent about couching her opinions in "this is my personal opinion, based on my own personal experiences," which a lot of people on the internet just don't do, to be honest. And then they get upset when a random stranger browsing the same tags they're posting in will pick a fight with them.

Anyway, it's not a post-anti trauma thing, in my opinion. It just has always been difficult to balance self-expression with not offending other people or hurting their feelings, and I feel like people used to learn these skills a bit more in forums because they had to in order to get along with the same group of people day after day, but I feel like modern social media has changed the paradigm a bit because all privates spaces are also public, so there's a simultaneous norm that people are allowed to say whatever opinions they want in their "own space" no matter how inflammatory they are, this might result in a fight with a stranger, and if that fight gets too heated, people block. They don't actually necessarily learn the importance of cultivating long-term relationships with people in fandom who have a different opinion than you do. Anti culture came out of that paradigm, but I think it's more a feature of the social media sites themselves, to be honest.

So yeah, my opinion is: People in fandom have ALWAYS interpreted "this is not for me" as "and it shouldn't be for anyone else either." Wording is important for avoiding that misunderstanding. People are less careful with wording on modern social media, though, because they don't have to be.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh absolutely. I've definitely had to retrain myself to stop doing that because it was just so ubiquitous at one point that it wasn't fun to be in fandom anymore

[fscom]

02. https://i.imgur.com/3WdEutp.png

[thewakokid]

Damn. That's a great secret. 10/10.

Hope its not about me.

[fscom]

03. https://i.imgur.com/3oN8tK3.png

[(Anonymous)]

mileage may vary per fandom, but disboard can be useful!

[fscom]

04. https://i.imgur.com/MNwM2TY.png

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

Transcript: The Hot Frosty promotional image

Text:
My Mom died over 10 years ago.
In 2016, I was uncomfortably thankful for her absence, afraid of what sort of poison
would come out of her mouth in that awful political landscape.
My Dad died a few years ago.
In 2023, I was uncomfortably thankful for his absence, afraid of what sort of poison
would come out of his mouth in the wake of October 7th.
(We're Jewish.)
When this movie was announced, I was glad they're both not here because when I
was very little, Frosty the Snowman was my imaginary friend and we were married
and in love. I don't remember anything else about it, so I can't
even explain the hows or whys.
I'm in my 40s. The teasing would be constant, and I just couldn't take it.
Bonus: I am praying none of my siblings remember or bring it up.
Bonusx2: If my SIL shows so much as the poster to my brother, I'm cooked.

[fscom]

05. https://i.imgur.com/W2laDkA.png

[greghousesgf]

I feel the same way and I don't mind John Waters movies.

[fscom]

06. https://i.imgur.com/gHrdzww.png

[philstar22]

To each their own, I won't judge. But yes, when I'm reading M/M, I want to see two dicks (or more, depending).

[fscom]

NS, NF, etc.

[fscom]

Official advertise your fandom-related event thread.

RULES FOR THIS:
1. NO images bigger than 600x600 in either direction (banners, et cetera).
2. ONE POST PER USER under this thread.
3. What IS allowed: roleplay advertisements, fandom comms, fandom events, things like that.
4. What is NOT allowed: anything for profit, any kind of fic/art commissions, seeking 1-on-1 RP, that kind of thing.

[fscom]

General comments:

(If the thread contains spoilery/triggery content please warn/post as 2nd comment so it collapses!
Please collapse images, too!)

Last song or album you listened to on repeat

[philstar22]

Was there a song or album recently that you listened to repeatedly?


For some reason, the last few days I've been obsessing over One by One from the Lion King musical. No idea why, but it has been pleasing my ears.

[fscom]

Games thread!

[(Anonymous)]

WordGrid #196
🦄🦄🦄
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Rarity: 0.00
wordgrid.clevergoat.com 🐐

[fscom]

Politics thread:

Any threads for explicitly non-fandom politics or non-fandom political news should go here.