case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-10-24 07:44 pm

[ SECRET POST #1756 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1756 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 165 secrets from Secret Submission Post #251.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

[identity profile] fscom.livejournal.com 2011-10-24 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
32. http://i52.tinypic.com/fodp4z.png

[identity profile] solira21.livejournal.com 2011-10-24 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
ugh, I know JUST how you feel. And I don't think you're being petty; many geeks I know irl just cannot put two words together. It's a real bummer.

My advice? Find people you like to hang out with and get them into geeky stuff if you can.
sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (doomsday)

[personal profile] sabotabby 2011-10-25 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
Wait a few years for them to grow up. I felt the same and was intensely frightened of IRL fandom people and their lack of indoor voices. Now I know a bunch of amazing geeky people (some of whom still don't have indoor voices); but I didn't meet most of them until I was pushing 30.

(Anonymous) 2011-10-25 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
Socially well-adjusted geeks exist. You might be one of them. I'm definitely one of them. As I got older, I also found more of the fandom geeks I met were normal adults. There's a diverging process that happens as you age so if you're an average adult with non-fandom interests, the geeks you meet are going to be the sorts of people you normally hang out around. Thus also normal and well-adjusted. This is less true in your teens/early 20s when the filtering process is ongoing.

I'm almost thirty, and now the majority of nerds I meet and hang out with are normal adults because I meet them either through my career or through friends.

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[identity profile] foxhound.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
That's how I feel at a lot of cons. Also, high school anime club was exactly like that.

[identity profile] mabdese.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
To be honest I had the same problem in college but after I graduated I found it much easier to find geek-girl friends. A lot of people go to college to try and reinvent themselves and I think they're a lot better once they either come to terms with their inner-geek or reject it.

Keep looking OP I promise us great social geeks are out there. And we love to run on the treadmill and talk about the latest comics and why DS9 is the best Trek.
Edited 2011-10-25 00:09 (UTC)

(Anonymous) 2011-10-25 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
Judging by this secret, you seem self aware enough to "pass" as functional in society (for lack of any better term). It's the ones that go to work wearing a Darth Vader helmet and wondering why people tend to stay away that you gotta watch out for.

[identity profile] lisiche.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
I've totally been there, OP. And I've been one of them, I think. Lord knows my social behavior learning curve has been a very slow one. XD Some of them are just late bloomers.
ext_396211: Fucking Gallaghers (Default)

[identity profile] sensualcoco.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
I've had some trouble with that too.

Maybe the causal geeks don't really flaunt it, so it's hard to find them?

That's how I feel about myself. I dress normal, I don't join any clubs. No one would really know unless they started up a conversation with me about a show I love.

I don't know, talk to lot of people? Eventually you'll run into someone right?

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(Anonymous) 2011-10-25 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
it's 'cause most geeks have poor social skills because instead of learning to socialise they all go and do online tests to diagnose themselves as aspergers-assholes. That way they can justify putting no effort into learning to socialising, because it's just the way they are.

Geeks of the world, learn to interact with real people and stop pretending you have a (fake) disease. I know it is harder, and geeks are lazy, but it'll be worth it in the end.

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[identity profile] jiveturkeyblues.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
I can relate so hard.

There are a few geeks in my classes and at first I tried to befriend them, but they all just shout memes in class and have no interests beyond cartoons and are overall impossible to be near.

I hope these commenters are right! I'm too nerdy for normal people and too normal for nerdy people. ;~;

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(Anonymous) 2011-10-25 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
I wish I wasn’t one of those people you’re talking about but I just can’t help geting really nervous in social situations :(

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(Anonymous) 2011-10-25 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
You just need to meet more similarly social fans. They are out there, they just don't flaunt their fannish-ness... thing, because they know how to function in society.

opposite problem

(Anonymous) 2011-10-25 01:24 am (UTC)(link)
I don't THINK my social skills are that horrible, but I'm pretty darn tolerant of people's quirks (VERY tolerant: one of my closest friends in high school was this guy who had multiple personality disorder, and one of his personalities kept popping out and threatening to rape and kill me) so I really wouldn't mind meeting the kind of friend you described... but my school has no geeks. At all. I have people to sit with at lunch who I get along with well enough, but no one with common interests. ;_; So lonely.

/coolstorybro. IDK why I just told you that.

Re: opposite problem

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Re: opposite problem

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[identity profile] raichu100.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
Really? I found that when I came to college it was easier to meet geeky people. Good luck, OP. As life goes on and you meet more people and folks grow up, you'll find more people who you relate to. :)

(Anonymous) 2011-10-25 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
I've found that the most socially well-adjusted geeks are the ones who count being a geek as just another facet of their personality. The geeks who wear their geekhood like a neon sign are the ones you're most likely to recognise as a fellow geek but they're also the most socially awkward. They seem to think being a geek is their Identity and they don't need to do anything else, like learn how to enjoy natural, flowing conversation about real issues where they actually listen to the other person, rather than just throwing out-of-context geeky references into the wind. They also use their geekery like a shield and think that their social awkwardness can't be helped and it's not their fault because they're A Geek.

I'd say, don't go looking for fellow geeks. Have fun getting to know lots of different people because their personalities appeal to you instead. You'll be surprised how, once you get to know them, a lot of them will have at least something in their life they're geeky about, and hopefully you'll find some who are geeky about the same things as you.

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[identity profile] santagrover.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
i feel the same way. i dunno if i ever became 'well-adjusted', though. 8|a

(Anonymous) 2011-10-25 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
Most people think I'm a bimbo and are genuinely surprised when they find out I read books and comics, I draw, I watch sci-fi and cartoons and everything a true nerd does.

It kinda pisses me off really. I don't actively seek geeks to befriend, but I try to get them to notice me and see if they're willing to look past how I look.

I've met all my geek friends by accident and not by actively seeking them out ("Oh hey you watch that show too? You're a nerd like me" etc). Although I love my geek friends, I have friends from other areas of life as well.

My advice? Let them come to you. Quality over quantity.

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(Anonymous) 2011-10-25 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
Protip: on the internet, you are exposed to far more people than the small sample set you meet at any one college campus. Also, how are you trying to meet other geeks? College clubs can be good, but they can also fall prey to the "nerd herd" factor - get enough awkward, annoying people entrenched in a single club, and it can chase out the more "normal" persons like (presumably) yourself.

(Related, did you make sure to check your empathy tank before joining? The part where you're concerned about how other people think of you makes me wonder if you're too status conscious to see past the embarrassment of being around 'real' nerds. Do you really get nothing out of being with these people, or is it just that you are afraid your friends might see you with them? An important question, even in college...high school doesn't evaporate overnight.)

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(Anonymous) 2011-10-25 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
I agree. it's also really disconcerting when behaviors that are annoying but tolerable on the internet are displayed in real life. I'm thinking stuff like random declarations about what show/movie is the best, say, or excessive references to a certain actor/singer. you can't TL;DR interactions with IRL people so easily.

but there are compatible geeks out there. maybe you should evaluate how you come off to others, but if you're confident in yourself then you should just carry without making too many changes.
ext_19953: (it's just an object. (in SPAAAAACE))

[identity profile] mutantjules.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
you probably aren't coming off the same way, not all nerds are the same. (They're probably just late bloomers. I was awkward as ASS as a child and a teenager, I got outgoing in my early 20's - about coinciding with the time I started drinking and not giving a fuck about what people thought of me. Now I'm 24 and have more friends than I've ever had at any point in my life. Sometimes it takes awhile!)

[identity profile] robintheshrew.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
This. I felt socially awkward until I got to college. Oops.
ext_405598: (bang bang)

[identity profile] murderershair.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
I've been there, yo. I was trying to explain to one of my irl geek friends that I couldn't see myself dating another geek and she was like OMG YOU'RE LIMITING YOUR OPTIONS, MY BOYFRIEND IS A GEEK AND HE'S THE BESTEST. And then I hung out with them together and I felt so uncomfortable, they were like, repeating their favorite memes out loud in public and screaming about weepingcock and just generally gave the impression that they couldn't wait to get back to the internet instead of actually interacting with me.

which is EXACTLY WHY I can't see myself dating another geek- my internet life and my real life are totally separate. If I'm dating somebody, it should be because when I'm with them I don't want to be doing anything else, not because we have cat macro injokes or whatever.

tl;dr- I swear there are some self-aware nice and interesting geeks, it's just that the loudest ones are the easiest to spot. My favorite kind of people are the kinds with loads of eclectic interests, anyway.

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SA

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(Anonymous) 2011-10-25 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
Hope you find some good geeky friends soon, OP.

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