[ SECRET POST #1967 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1967 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 051 secrets from Secret Submission Post #281.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

09. http://i47.tinypic.com/jaasqu.png

[(Anonymous)]

omg guise I'm a nice guy who deserves ALL the sex from the wimminz, but they are too dumb and only go for the douche bag!!1 I AM SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED!!!11!

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP, but I think the point is that the term started off as referring to that, but has since been generalized into "guy whose behavior regarding sex you disapprove of in some way", making it a pretty useless phrase.

[(Anonymous)]

oh no man you've been FRIENDZONED *the horror*

[childings.livejournal.com]

[(Anonymous)]

omg guise an opportunity for be to be a jackass has arisen so now i can use it to justify my dickheadedness

[cyren-2132.livejournal.com]

You mean people overuse (and sometimes mis-use, or at the very least are far too quick to use) the TV Trope phrase? Because I'd agree with that. Some people ARE nice. Some of those people, I'm sure would like to be in a relationship, are not and are disheartened by that.

But this is fandom, where you can't feel bad about things like that without people immediately assuming you must think you DESERVE EVERYTHING OMG.

[(Anonymous)]

"Nice Guys" deserve the shit they get. people who are just nice don't. simple as that.

[(Anonymous)]

This.

There's a difference between a Nice Guy and a nice guy.

[(Anonymous)]

[(Anonymous)]

My best friend is a nice guy. Like, literally, he is the nicest person to ever exist. There is not a single mean bone in his body. He is automatically what I think of when I hear the term "nice guy," so whenever I see people complaining about them I can't help but think "what the hell is wrong with you? You must know nothing but absolute douchebags."

(Yes, I'm aware of the other meaning, but it's still hard for me to divorce my automatic reaction from what certain people say a phrase means).

[cyren-2132.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm aware of the other meaning, but it's still hard for me to divorce my automatic reaction from what certain people say a phrase means

Personally, I think this is a good thing, and things would be a lot simpler if people would just say what they mean instead of co-opting words that don't mean what they mean to say. I mean, I kind of get how it's appealing to have *~a lingo~* that makes you* feel like you're in some sort of elite group, but really...it's just kind of dumb.

*General "you," of course.

[natural-blue-26.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm aware of the other meaning, but it's still hard for me to divorce my automatic reaction from what certain people say a phrase means.

Me too- been best friends with the same guy for the last two decades/since first grade and I wouldn't categorize him as anything other than a genuinely nice guy.

[childings.livejournal.com]

I always see it capitalized as Nice Guy (sometimes with a trademark symbol next to it) when people use it in that context, so I'm never really confused by it. It does make me refrain from calling any dude a "nice guy" now though

[rare-lj.livejournal.com]

same here

[hooves.livejournal.com]

Same. If I am referring to a "Nice Guy" in person I even put quotation marks around it. Because "Nice Guys" aren't nice guys.

[(Anonymous)]

You mean the ones who now think every guy who is nice and interested in a girl (maybe even in -GASP- having sex with her) is a Nice Guy, regardless of whether he acts like he's entitled to her affections? I've met a couple of them, but I think they're still in the minority.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, mostly because a lot of Nice Guys...well...aren't very good at acting nice, because they're usually selfish narcissists who learn how to be nice from looking at actual nice people. Most of the time, they'll slip up with a nasty opinion or reaction to something that will clue people in. And then they go from "Nice Guy" to just "asshole".

[(Anonymous)]

I kinda agree. I've seen it used as "I don't like this guy because he gets in the way of my OTP, even though he doesn't actually fit the definition of Nice Guy".

[murderershair.livejournal.com]

Weird, I was just thinking about this. I don't think it's *so* widely misused that it bugs me, but there does seem to be a trend of people assuming that anyone who is afraid of rejection and thus doesn't immediately confess to the object of their affections is A NICE GUY OMG, WHY DON'T YOU JUST CONFESS. (Uh, maybe because sometimes people can tell that it's unrequited and are hoping the crush will go away if they don't do anything?)

I probably said that all wrong, but bleh. Most actual detailed blogposts I see about the Nice Guy phenomenon are good, but I kinda hate that xkcd comic because it started a trend of "OMG YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS BEFORE DATING CLEARLY YOU ARE MANIPULATIVE AND CREEPY" among people I know.

[cure-light.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I kind of do that, too. I know people IRL just mean 'that guy is not a douche bag', but I'm so used to seeing it in a negative context that it's hard not to see it in a negative context everywhere.

Also, do I spy Eden of the East? 'Cause that makes me extra happy. :D

[streetcake.livejournal.com]

Bleh, yeah. It's fine thinking that it would be sweet if a nice guy's crush felt the same way, but some people forget the entitlement thing that separates a nice guy from a Nice Guy. What I hate is when fans turn nice guys into Nice Guys because of their butthurt shipping feelings. Like in LoK, Bolin is loved by a lot of people for being the opposite of a Nice Guy and yet after episode 5 a lot of those fans got angry because Korra didn't return his affections and started ranting that he "deserved" her for buying her stuff and being nice. Uuuugh.

[drunken-clowns.livejournal.com]

I can't quite tell what you're trying to say, but to my best guess it's that the term "Nice Guy" is misused so much now that it's hard to take it seriously anymore? And if it's that, I agree.

It had a pretty clear original meaning- someone who claims to be "nice", but treats the people they're attracted to like "it's wrong to reject me, why can't you at least try?". It's about entitlement. And there's plenty of characters in fandom that do fit that description, but it's been spread around so much it's lost its meaning. Any character who crushes on an uninterested friend or someone they don't know, or any character who doesn't take rejection perfectly, is now a "Nice Guy".

And like, I get if the character on that receiving end of the unwanted crush, or the character who's upset that their friend is pulling away a little after being rejected, isn't having a good time of it either! I think people might be confusing "this person with the unrequited crush isn't doing anything really wrong" with "we're supposed to feel sorry for them and not sympathize at all with the character who just wants to be friends or whatever". And that's not true. These situations are shitty and awkward, usually for both people, but messy feelings is totally a normal part of the human condition and even though it's not convenient all the time, it's oversimplifying to slap a "shitty person alert!" sticker on somebody just for that.

I liked the phrase when I first heard it. I've had people act entitled to dating me, and I went through a really shitty entitled phase in my teenage years when I did that to other people, and seeing it dissected helped me understand how I was being selfish and not having enough empathy, and how it was wrong, both when it was done to me and when I did it. But come on, that's not like, Peeta, or Finn, or Kanaya. Use it too much and it becomes harder to keep the term concise and centered around the people who are actually being dicks.

and don't get me started on the recent "anyone who says 'friendzone' hates women" bullshit, okay? it's a dumb word, but whether it's Nice Guy territory depends on the content and tone of what someone's saying. just like almost everything else.

[otakugal15.livejournal.com]

You sound "nice."

[sandor051.livejournal.com]

Fandom misusing a useful word or concept to the point of rendering it meaningless? Please stop using your privilege to mansplain to me, I have empty snark and unthinking overreactions to attack your strawman with.