Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2012-08-09 06:59 pm
[ SECRET POST #2046 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2046 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 021 secrets from Secret Submission Post #292.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - spam secret ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 01:06 am (UTC)(link)ADULTS FUCKING TWELVE YEAR OLDS IS PEDOPHILIA
IT DOES NOT MATTER IF THEY ARE GIRLS OR BOYS
JFC
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 01:14 am (UTC)(link)Also, I thought that Dany girl was like 13/14 when she has sex?
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 01:21 am (UTC)(link)but one thing is being sexually active with other adolescents within your age range, and another thing to be put into a situation with an adult where you're pushed to say yes
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 01:29 am (UTC)(link)Secondly, not everyone situation with an older partner is pressured into sex; sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. If they are, that's wrong, and it'd still be wrong if they are the same age. But it's unfair to assume that just because a teen has slept which an adult they must have been pressured into it.
This attitude is harmful because it erases the experiences of those have been pressured into sex by people younger or the same age as them. It's also harmful to a lesser extent to individuals who are in a consensual relationship with someone older of their own freewill, by unnecessarily villianizing everyone in that category.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 01:41 am (UTC)(link)"She came onto me officer!"
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 01:52 am (UTC)(link)As a someone who was guilted into giving her virginity away to a younger man
He was younger yeah, but we were still both teenagers. In fact, I'm a still a teenager, and I'm a CONSENSUAL relationship with a man 10 years my senior.
People like you will condemn a healthy, loving relationship because of an age gap, but ignore when I was forced into sex with another (albeit a year or so younger) teenager.
Classy. Real classy.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 02:00 am (UTC)(link)You being both teenagers is okay. You and the pedo are not. It's not because of an age gap. It's because you are a minor and he is a fucking GROWN-ASS MAN and it's illegal.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 01:47 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 01:57 am (UTC)(link)1) I'm a teenager girl
2) I was pressured into sex by teenager boy, about a year or so younger than me
3) I am currently in a consensual relationship that I initiated with an older man
But nice, victim-blaming there. It's good to know I can't be a victim because the guy that manipulated me was younger.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 02:06 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 02:14 am (UTC)(link)I never said someone younger than you or your age can't pressure you. It's not an either/or situation. I'm sorry if my comment came across that way; that was never my intention.
"Secondly, not everyone situation with an older partner is pressured into sex; sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. If they are, that's wrong, and it'd still be wrong if they are the same age. But it's unfair to assume that just because a teen has slept which an adult they must have been pressured into it."
The thing is, that a child or a teenager with an adult is a specific case of what you're saying.
I'm not condemning, say, a seventeen year old person with someone in their late twenties, I would hope they're both being careful and there isn't manipulation involved, but with someone younger (12-15, maybe 16, and, of course, anyone younger) it's not just "hoping", it's fearing what I will be doing.
Those are children or persons who are just starting to not be children, and even if they consciously want it, they're not on the same emotional, mental and psychological than an actual adult or an older teenager.
I know this is going to offend modern western sensibilities, but I'm aware that not every such relationship is doomed, BUT
the thing is that the risk of abuse or manipulation, even unconscious, is way too high.
Because not everyone matures the same way, it's faster and safer to make a clear line (the age of consent, that varies from country to country and state to state, but is leaning towards later adolescence) of when not to persecute adults having sex with them, even if not everyone matures at that age, and yeah, it must be terrible frustrating for those that did mature faster, but this way those who aren't ready are safer.
I know it's not perfect or ideal, but I think it beats, say, the ancient Roman tradition of marrying off girls as soon as they had their first menstruation.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 02:24 am (UTC)(link)From my perspective, I just feel like a lot of people want to censor my sexuality. I'm depressed the amount of shaming there is towards the sexuality of women (especially young women/teens like myself).
I'm glad you acknowledge that the current system isn't perfect, and that this isn't a black-or-white issue. But yes, I agree the current system is better than anything I can think of.
Thanks again, I'm really glad you share your side with me, and double thanks for being so patient and polite.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 01:23 am (UTC)(link)Statuary rape. It is a thing.
Fuck, you sound like a NAMBLA apologist.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 01:35 am (UTC)(link)You that the same lines are used to discredit sex workers and their rights? Saying that we're 'programmed to lie', and that we 'don't know what's good for us'. You're putting the feelings of the 'victims' aside to please your own agenda. If you really care about the feelings of the teenagers, let them speak for themselves, do not rob them of agency and voice.
I'm actually I'm a sex-positive feminist, and a young woman myself, if you must know. I'm in a relationship with an older man, and I'm NOT been exploited, I initiated it the entire thing. I know what I want, and who I love, but you would tell me that I'm being raped? You have NO RIGHT to tell me whether or not I was raped. That's why this is a personal issue for me.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 03:17 am (UTC)(link)Which, frankly, they have a point, because teenage brains are so very not adult brains yet, and won't be fully developed adult brains until some time in their 20s.
But hey, I don't judge you for being attracted to an older dude, or being sexually active... but frankly, I judge the fuck out of him for letting you initiate the relationship. And if you're not legal yet, then... yeah. It is statutory rape, whatever the fuck you think, and would be just as much statutory rape if you were a boy.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 03:26 am (UTC)(link)(no subject)
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 05:13 am (UTC)(link)Second, I don't think children and adults in sexual relationships is okay, nor children and teens. You do know that teenagers can be pedophiles too, right?
Third, people don't magically turn 18 and suddenly they're mature.
Finally, you don't me, what I'm like, what my boyfriend's or anything about my life you have no right to judge. I talked to mother (who knows me very well) about the situation and my feelings before I talked to my boyfriend about it. She supports me and my relationship. It's fine to judge someone over the internet, but you really have no idea about me or my relationship.
You have no right to tell me I'm being raped. I am able to tell when I am being raped. I am not being harmed in any way, shape or form. And if no one is getting hurt, why bother to attack us? I am able to argue my position, defend myself and make decisions. Is it so hard to acknowledge me as full, complete being, and that I'm able to make decisions?
Oh well, at least you're just some person on the internet and not anyone of significance in my life. I guess if you're right I'll turn 18 in a few years and magically understand everything, until then, my defense shall fall on deaf ears.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-11 01:17 am (UTC)(link)The overwhelming age of consent, therefore what classifies as a 'woman' in sexual matters is 16. Even in the US, where many think it's 18. Many other developed, civilized places are even younger than 16. Do your research.
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/Will you pass me that number for the Avengers if I promise to only use it in emergencies and don't define emergencies as "There's something happening in my pants"?
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 05:30 am (UTC)(link)I do recognize this, and in fact I agree with you, my issue is with people saying any and relationship with a teen and an adult is always rape. No exceptions. As you can see in the threads above, a few anons on here share this reasoning. I am NOT arguing that all relationships between teens and adults and healthy and dandy. I am saying that there are healthy ones, not all, but some.
I do find it kind of insulting that people are trying to tell/convince me that I've been raped. When they don't know me, my partner, my situation, or even my age. All they know is that I'm a teenager with an older guy, and they are making all these unfair assumptions about me and my life. If I'm happy, and we're harming no one, why cause us grief?
Basically, what I was trying to say is, don't brush every teen/adult relationship with the same brush. Some are unhealthy and exploitative, others (like mine) are rather normal.
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(Anonymous) - 2012-08-10 19:36 (UTC) - Expandno subject
And I'm pretty sure you can't rape a statue.
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wikipedia quotes, but it makes the arguement better than I could
(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 06:00 am (UTC)(link)no subject