[ SECRET POST #2046 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2046 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 021 secrets from Secret Submission Post #292.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - spam secret ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Are you being deliberately obtuse?

ADULTS FUCKING TWELVE YEAR OLDS IS PEDOPHILIA

IT DOES NOT MATTER IF THEY ARE GIRLS OR BOYS

JFC

[(Anonymous)]

I thought pedophilia is attraction to prepubescents? So I guess at 12, it technically varies depending on the individual. That being said, I think most 12 year old fall probably fall under the prepubescent category. I personally wasn't sexually active at 12, but I know people who were and I'm not going to demean them by saying 'you were just confused', 'you didn't know what's good for you'.

Also, I thought that Dany girl was like 13/14 when she has sex?

[(Anonymous)]

da

but one thing is being sexually active with other adolescents within your age range, and another thing to be put into a situation with an adult where you're pushed to say yes

[(Anonymous)]

First, ANYONE CAN BE PRESSURED INTO SEX, whether they are older, younger, in the same age range. As a someone who was guilted into giving her virginity away to a younger man, it's hurtful that people think being pressured into sex can only happen when the victim is the younger one.

Secondly, not everyone situation with an older partner is pressured into sex; sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. If they are, that's wrong, and it'd still be wrong if they are the same age. But it's unfair to assume that just because a teen has slept which an adult they must have been pressured into it.

This attitude is harmful because it erases the experiences of those have been pressured into sex by people younger or the same age as them. It's also harmful to a lesser extent to individuals who are in a consensual relationship with someone older of their own freewill, by unnecessarily villianizing everyone in that category.

[(Anonymous)]

"As a man who was guilted into giving his viginity by a young girl..."

"She came onto me officer!"

[(Anonymous)]

Reading comprehension fail.


As a someone who was guilted into giving her virginity away to a younger man

He was younger yeah, but we were still both teenagers. In fact, I'm a still a teenager, and I'm a CONSENSUAL relationship with a man 10 years my senior.

People like you will condemn a healthy, loving relationship because of an age gap, but ignore when I was forced into sex with another (albeit a year or so younger) teenager.

Classy. Real classy.

[(Anonymous)]

And being "guilted into" is not being forced. Stop this crap now.

You being both teenagers is okay. You and the pedo are not. It's not because of an age gap. It's because you are a minor and he is a fucking GROWN-ASS MAN and it's illegal.

[(Anonymous)]

An adult being pressured by a minor into sex is such a classic excuse by sex offenders.

[(Anonymous)]

Okay,
1) I'm a teenager girl
2) I was pressured into sex by teenager boy, about a year or so younger than me
3) I am currently in a consensual relationship that I initiated with an older man

But nice, victim-blaming there. It's good to know I can't be a victim because the guy that manipulated me was younger.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

I never said someone younger than you or your age can't pressure you. It's not an either/or situation. I'm sorry if my comment came across that way; that was never my intention.

"Secondly, not everyone situation with an older partner is pressured into sex; sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. If they are, that's wrong, and it'd still be wrong if they are the same age. But it's unfair to assume that just because a teen has slept which an adult they must have been pressured into it."

The thing is, that a child or a teenager with an adult is a specific case of what you're saying.

I'm not condemning, say, a seventeen year old person with someone in their late twenties, I would hope they're both being careful and there isn't manipulation involved, but with someone younger (12-15, maybe 16, and, of course, anyone younger) it's not just "hoping", it's fearing what I will be doing.

Those are children or persons who are just starting to not be children, and even if they consciously want it, they're not on the same emotional, mental and psychological than an actual adult or an older teenager.

I know this is going to offend modern western sensibilities, but I'm aware that not every such relationship is doomed, BUT

the thing is that the risk of abuse or manipulation, even unconscious, is way too high.

Because not everyone matures the same way, it's faster and safer to make a clear line (the age of consent, that varies from country to country and state to state, but is leaning towards later adolescence) of when not to persecute adults having sex with them, even if not everyone matures at that age, and yeah, it must be terrible frustrating for those that did mature faster, but this way those who aren't ready are safer.

I know it's not perfect or ideal, but I think it beats, say, the ancient Roman tradition of marrying off girls as soon as they had their first menstruation.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank for explaining your position to me. It makes a lot of sense, and I really appreciate your civility. I agree that the age of consent is needed, having younger teens wait a couple years is worth protecting kids.

From my perspective, I just feel like a lot of people want to censor my sexuality. I'm depressed the amount of shaming there is towards the sexuality of women (especially young women/teens like myself).

I'm glad you acknowledge that the current system isn't perfect, and that this isn't a black-or-white issue. But yes, I agree the current system is better than anything I can think of.

Thanks again, I'm really glad you share your side with me, and double thanks for being so patient and polite.

[(Anonymous)]

but I know people who were and I'm not going to demean them by saying 'you were just confused', 'you didn't know what's good for you'.

Statuary rape. It is a thing.

Fuck, you sound like a NAMBLA apologist.

[(Anonymous)]

You sound like a sex-negative radfem.

You that the same lines are used to discredit sex workers and their rights? Saying that we're 'programmed to lie', and that we 'don't know what's good for us'. You're putting the feelings of the 'victims' aside to please your own agenda. If you really care about the feelings of the teenagers, let them speak for themselves, do not rob them of agency and voice.

I'm actually I'm a sex-positive feminist, and a young woman myself, if you must know. I'm in a relationship with an older man, and I'm NOT been exploited, I initiated it the entire thing. I know what I want, and who I love, but you would tell me that I'm being raped? You have NO RIGHT to tell me whether or not I was raped. That's why this is a personal issue for me.

[(Anonymous)]

This is not a gender-sensitive issue that people are getting on about. It is an age-sensitive issue. The problem is not about young women (... sorry, but if you're under 18, you're not a woman, not even a young one, you're a girl), the problem is with children and teenagers being in sexual relationships with adults.

Which, frankly, they have a point, because teenage brains are so very not adult brains yet, and won't be fully developed adult brains until some time in their 20s.

But hey, I don't judge you for being attracted to an older dude, or being sexually active... but frankly, I judge the fuck out of him for letting you initiate the relationship. And if you're not legal yet, then... yeah. It is statutory rape, whatever the fuck you think, and would be just as much statutory rape if you were a boy.

[(Anonymous)]

This. I'm not judging her, but that sleazebag rapist!

[(Anonymous)]

First of all, 18 is not the universal age of adulthood/consent, it varies depending on the culture and country.
Second, I don't think children and adults in sexual relationships is okay, nor children and teens. You do know that teenagers can be pedophiles too, right?
Third, people don't magically turn 18 and suddenly they're mature.

Finally, you don't me, what I'm like, what my boyfriend's or anything about my life you have no right to judge. I talked to mother (who knows me very well) about the situation and my feelings before I talked to my boyfriend about it. She supports me and my relationship. It's fine to judge someone over the internet, but you really have no idea about me or my relationship.

You have no right to tell me I'm being raped. I am able to tell when I am being raped. I am not being harmed in any way, shape or form. And if no one is getting hurt, why bother to attack us? I am able to argue my position, defend myself and make decisions. Is it so hard to acknowledge me as full, complete being, and that I'm able to make decisions?

Oh well, at least you're just some person on the internet and not anyone of significance in my life. I guess if you're right I'll turn 18 in a few years and magically understand everything, until then, my defense shall fall on deaf ears.

[(Anonymous)]

(... sorry, but if you're under 18, you're not a woman, not even a young one, you're a girl)

The overwhelming age of consent, therefore what classifies as a 'woman' in sexual matters is 16. Even in the US, where many think it's 18. Many other developed, civilized places are even younger than 16. Do your research.

[darkmanifest]

Listen, I'm a sex-positive feminist myself, but if I find out a thirteen-year-old is sleeping with a thirty-year-old, I am not going to give them both high-fives, I am calling the kid's parents or the cops or the Avengers or somebody. There is a line, and it is not definitive across all cases ever, but it does exist, people do cross it, and it is not sex-negative to recognize this.

[anonymouslyyours]

Yes. This. Dear God.

/Will you pass me that number for the Avengers if I promise to only use it in emergencies and don't define emergencies as "There's something happening in my pants"?

[(Anonymous)]

I agree, but I'm not 13, and my boyfriend is not 30, and my mom knew about my feelings for my current bf before I even told him and supports me and my relationship, for one.

I do recognize this, and in fact I agree with you, my issue is with people saying any and relationship with a teen and an adult is always rape. No exceptions. As you can see in the threads above, a few anons on here share this reasoning. I am NOT arguing that all relationships between teens and adults and healthy and dandy. I am saying that there are healthy ones, not all, but some.

I do find it kind of insulting that people are trying to tell/convince me that I've been raped. When they don't know me, my partner, my situation, or even my age. All they know is that I'm a teenager with an older guy, and they are making all these unfair assumptions about me and my life. If I'm happy, and we're harming no one, why cause us grief?

Basically, what I was trying to say is, don't brush every teen/adult relationship with the same brush. Some are unhealthy and exploitative, others (like mine) are rather normal.

[deadtree]

okay I mean I totally agree with you, but I think the word you're looking for is "statutory" as "statuary" would be a group of statues.
And I'm pretty sure you can't rape a statue.

[darkmanifest]

I'm sure somebody has tried.

wikipedia quotes, but it makes the arguement better than I could

[(Anonymous)]

here is debate among sex-positive feminists about whether statutory rape laws are a form of misogyny.[8] As illustrated by the controversy over "The Little Coochie Snorcher that Could" from the Vagina Monologues, some sex-positive feminists do not consider all consensual activity between young adolescents and older people as inherently harmful, and there has been debate between feminists about whether statutory rape laws are misogynist.[9] Their argument is that statutory rape laws were made with non-gender neutral intentions and are presently enforced as such, with the assumption that young pubescent women are naive and nonsexual and need to be protected. Sex-positive feminists with this view believe that "teen girls and boys are equally capable of making informed choices in regard to their sexuality",[10] and that statutory rape laws are actually meant to protect "good girls" from sex. In "Sex-Bias Topics in the Criminal Law Course: A Survey of Criminal Law Professors" 24 U. Mich. J.L. Ref. 189 (1990), it is said: "Other feminists are opposed to or ambivalent about strengthening statutory rape statutes because such protection also precludes a young woman from entering a consensual sexual relationship, to which she may be competent to consent. These feminists view statutory rape laws as more controlling than protective -- and of course part of the law's historic role was protecting the female's chastity as valuable property". She also notes that in some states the previous sexual experience of a teenager could be used as a defense by one accused of statutory rape. She argues that this shows that these laws are intended to protect ideals of chastity rather than issues of consent.

[rapunzelita]

...Do you really need it to be pedophilia in order to argue that it's morally wrong? As far as I'm concerned "not consensual" is pretty much enough. No need to go OMG PEDOPHILES CAPSLOCKS MY ARGUMENT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE BECAUSE PEDOPHILIAAAAAA.