[ SECRET POST #2466 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2466 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Late day at work, sorry.

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 010 secrets from Secret Submission Post #352.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - omgiknowthem ], [ 1 - troll ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[chardmonster]

There is a big difference between being an introvert and being an asshole.

[chardmonster]

Having social anxiety sucks.

Not telling someone you're good enough friends with that you're actually meeting in person that you have social anxiety (or that you're 'awkward' or 'shy' or whatever) is pretty mean.

Letting your friend pick up every bill is awful. Social anxiety is no excuse.

If you're usng a self diagnosis of social anxiety as an excuse to not try to avoid rudeness and to let your friend pay for shit, you are a really shitty person.

I echo my opinion that the OP should drop this loser.

Re: Color Test

[(Anonymous)]

I got an 8. It's frustrating that they don't tell you what the average score is for your age group.

Re: Please!

[chardmonster]

It's not a-okay, but it's fanfiction and it's hard for me to keep a grudge over it.

Fanfiction just isn't serious business. And that's okay. We can like plenty of things that aren't serious business. We have a whole thread on Night Vale.

Re: I have no opinion on this writer, BUT

[chardmonster]

How the heck do you define "hugely popular?"

How do you define "the classics?"

[(Anonymous)]

Hi, Cassie!

Or one of her fanpoodles.

[(Anonymous)]

Thirded.

If Twilight, 50 Shades, and Mortal Instruments can be published, so can I.

That's uncalled for. Really.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't particularly like her or the things she has done, but really?

[(Anonymous)]

You're probably a fan of the person the OP dislikes.

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly. If it was just a day out, then I can see why the OP's friend would think that the OP is ok with paying for everything (though she really should have asked first!)

But the OP seems to imply that the online friend stayed for more than one day (either that, or they got a shitload done in a single day) so it's downright rude of the friend to not bring a present and/or offer to pay for some of the expenses. Even offering to do the dishes, or to cook dinner, or to pay for some gas, or some snacks for a movie night, etc. would have been fine.

But the things that the OP mentioned they did would cost hundreds of dollars all-up. If I was the friend, I'd feel guilty for making someone I just met irl pay so much money for me to have a good time.

[(Anonymous)]

yep.

[(Anonymous)]

not to mention, the two aren't mutually exclusive.

[(Anonymous)]

GO BRUTAL OR GO HOME.

[chardmonster]

Hell yes.

I'm sick and tired of people using various conditions as excuses to be jerks. Yes, it's much harder to be polite if you're an introvert or have social anxiety. I'm more or less one, and suffered something at least close to social anxiety as a teenager, so I'd know.

You should attempt to be good to people anyway because being good to people is worthwhile in and of itself. You are actually obligated to do so, particularly with people you consider friends.

Re: Color Test

[(Anonymous)]

32, but I might have gotten better if I spent longer on it? I was already seeing spots from staring at the screen.

I wonder whether monitor quality/settings make a difference.

Re: Color Test

[(Anonymous)]

4

:o

I don't understand these numbers, though?

Best score for your gender and age range: -160
Highest score for your gender and age range: 198857

[(Anonymous)]

This! Nothing pisses me off more than people who use their mental illness as an excuse to treat others badly. All it does is perpetuate the stereotype that people with mental illness are assholes, and gives assholes leeway to treat others badly because "they can't help it". Bull.

No mental illness prevents people from saying thanks or offering to pay for your own things. But a selfish personality sure does. The fact that the OP's friend didn't say thanks (or apologize) online once they got home shows that it had nothing to do with social anxiety, and everything to do with being an ass.

[(Anonymous)]

so very true. i'm a little surprised at how many commenters above are coming up with excuses for this awful friend, tbh. being shy or introverted is one thing, but not saying thank-you, not paying for anything, and barely speaking to your host beyond one-word answers is just downright rude. if the friend really is socially anxious, then they should have explained to the OP that they have difficulty with social interaction. not mooched off them and ignored all conversation.

the lack of thanks isn't even the worst part imo. expecting a friend (especially one you only just met IRL) to make all the plans and pay for everything is just downright rude. especially considering how expensive some of those activities sound.

[(Anonymous)]

There are hacks and cheaters in everything.

I'm so sick of seeing people complain about this woman.

[(Anonymous)]

mte

[(Anonymous)]

well, no one's actually shaming her, unless she trolls this comm, but I think if a person allows themselves to be vidded on someone's phone reaching for, and gulping, a Big Gulp as someone else is graciously talking about her books to a crowd that came to see her, she's kind of asking for the fat jokes.

I also think because she's so vile as a person, friend and copy-cat, that people would zero in on her 'flaws' no matter what they were. If she were plastic with plastic breasts and no-ribs skinny, they'd call her an inflatable doll with breasts instead of brains. Insulting her looks, or lack of, is shorthand for insulting her.

[(Anonymous)]

Or it could be that the movie based on her books came out and stirred up long-held feelings, just like the new SHEILD TV show has resulted in a slew of Joss-is-gross secrets (which I approve of).

It's nothing as deep as "it's cool to hate, who can we hate on next?".

Re: I wanna fall in love

[(Anonymous)]

Ok, coming from a person in a long term relationship, you need to keep a couple things in mind. Firstly, you have to put yourself out there. Now I don't mean go buy some scam of a dating guidebook or something like that to learn all the tips on how to be smooth. Those don't work and trying the tips in there will make you seem desperate. I just mean, when you feel a spark of interest for someone else, ask them out. Take that chance. If it turns out they're single and are interested too, you've already won half the battle. And the worst that happens? They're already taken or not interested, which isn't really a loss since there's so many people in the world to choose from anyway.

So after you've gone on a couple of dates with someone to your interest, keep some things in mind: Trust will develop naturally, no one is perfect, respect and loyalty are important, communication with each other is key, and it's okay to be intimate with someone at your own pace. You will never meet your dream guy/girl. They don't exist. And frankly, the person you might spend the rest of your life with will probably be even better than any fantasy you'll come up with anyway.

All you can ever hope for is to find someone who makes you laugh, that you have a few things in common with, who absolutely respects you and your core beliefs, who is loyal, who will be willing to work out issues with you as a team rather than shut down, and who gives you affection unconditionally because they adore you. Those are the core values that keep a relationship strong. And trust me, these people are out there. And there's enough people to choose from where physical and emotional attraction will both exist.

Don't force anything, or feel pressured to do something you don't want to in a relationship. Take chances and ask a person out, because before you know it your chance will be gone. But once you get in a relationship, let it develop naturally.

[(Anonymous)]

That wasn't what nonny asked tho, nice sidestepping there Writer God.

[(Anonymous)]

Then why are you here, little snowflake?