[ SECRET POST #2466 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2466 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Late day at work, sorry.

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 010 secrets from Secret Submission Post #352.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - omgiknowthem ], [ 1 - troll ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: sexuality without labels

[pantasma]

I don't know if it's cause it's actually this funny or it's the hour, but I am laughing myself silly. Without waking the roommate.

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, that sucks, OP. Sorry you had to go through that. Social anxiety or introverted personality or not, that's no excuse for what your "friend" did. I'm introverted and socially anxious, and meeting new people is always a challenge, but that is not a free pass to leech off others or not thank them. Even if talking about money was awkward for them or they found it difficult to find the right time to thank you, they still should've tried. (And from your secret, it seems like they didn't, not during the visit or after it.)

Probably the best thing to do would be to talk to them, tell them how you felt about the visit and ask them if they realize just how rude their behavior looks like, and depending on how that goes, sever the friendship or try to mend it. Best of luck, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

For the record: Social anxiety and extroversion are not mutually exclusive. You can be a complete extrovert and still suffer from social anxiety.

"Introverted language" is not the same as rudeness, but disregarding thank yous and not offering to pay someone for dinner is, in fact, rude.

[(Anonymous)]

Every single one of these things is your problem. Deal with it and stop whinging or just never write again out of pettiness. Your call.

Re: sexuality without labels

[(Anonymous)]

I like pussy.

[(Anonymous)]

YES! YES! YES! Never expect a person to pay for you just because you're a guest. That is incredible presumptuous. Money is a sensitive subject for many people, and it can be embarrassed to admit that you cannot afford to pay for a guest, especially if they are a uni student or unemployed and can't afford to pay for two people.

If they offer to pay, then you can accept it. But never expect it.

[tree_and_leaf]

I've not seen the movie, but the book's a lot of fun, IMO.

Re: I wanna fall in love

[pantasma]

Man, I just got this show out of my head three days ago...

In other news, seems like so many already have. Fallen in love with love, that is.

[(Anonymous)]

I hate these kind of secrets and the people who write them. Fic world isn't a world where everyone magically speaks perfect accentless English regardless of origin, ethnicity or whether it's their first language you fucking racist.

[blunderbuss]

It's pretty goddamn sad that an infamous internet wank celebrity makes someone lose their will to live. Not a drug lord or a slave trafficker or a dictator or someone actually terrible, a fucking fanfic writer. Give me a fucking break.

[(Anonymous)]

Hey now, let's not meantion Ursula and CC in the same breath! Ursula is actually awesome.

[ketita]

Weird, must be a regional/cultural thing, because where I live no way anybody would expect that just because you invited them over you'd pay for everything =/ unless maybe it's somebody from another country, but even that would depend on the situation.

I mean, hosting at home is one thing. You're to somebody's house, it's accepted that they feed you. But if I went to my friend's and she suggested going to a museum, I wouldn't for an instant assume she meant to pay my ticket.

Re: How are you currently spoiling yourself? (Nonfandom, food, drink.)

[blunderbuss]

I've just got a brand new set of sheets (egyptian cotton motherfuckers!), a new pillow, and one of those bumpy foam underlays. MY BED HAS ACHIEVED MAXIMUM SOFTNESS.

Re: Blue Racer Snake/Coluber constrictor

[elialshadowpine]

AMG. So beautiful.

Wow, feel the love and tolerance in this thread....

[(Anonymous)]

I am genuinely astounded at the sheer volume of assholery going on here. Social anxiety is an illness, it doesn't fit in to your neat little definitions of what people *should* do or feel, and every person's experience of it is going to differ. The level of prejudice inherent in your presumptions of what is an acceptable way for someone with S.A. to behave, is unbelievable.

I *don't* suffer from social anxiety and I feel completely awkward with this money thing. If someone offers, is it rude to say no? If they just take control and pays straight off, do I ask to split or wait for them to ask? They wouldn't do it if they didn't expect to pay, and I don't want to offend them...By the time this has run through your head about 50 times, the 'appropriate time' to discuss it has passed and that makes it all 100% more awkward. And you're so wrapped up in that, you've forgotten to say thank you and that's a whole new world of worries there...

OP, I'm sorry to hear your experience meeting your friend wasn't as you'd expected, and perhaps they were just using you to get a free trip. Perhaps they're an asshole who doesn't give a toss about politeness, gratitude or decency. Based on your friendship *before* the meeting - what do you think?

Or perhaps, they suffer from SA, maybe without really knowing what it is. Struggling with what to say every time they answer the phone, leave the house. And because they were with a friend, someone they trusted, they tried to ignore that worry and just be, assuming their friend would understand if they went monosyllabic to minimise that stress because they felt safe. Like they wouldn't be judged.

But this is all supposition on my part. The only person who knows is your friend, and what you need to do OP, is ask them, tactfully and with a modicum more understanding than most of the posters on this thread have shown, what the situation is.

[(Anonymous)]

i've rped on tumblr before and i feel you. i made it a point to only accept ones that were events inspiration: for instance, 'your character gets a terrible cold' or 'your character finds 100 bucks on the sidewalk' and then writing what i believed was a canon reaction/rp starter involving that.

Re: Color Test

[ariakas]

I think that test is broken, because I've taken real colour blindness tests and definitely have some red-green perception issues, yet I can score in the low single digits (last time I tried I got 3) on that thing.

[(Anonymous)]

It's a guilty pleasure. I only like it for the h/c.

[(Anonymous)]

IIRC, the woman was a former friend who had been harassing them. The version she told was that she was fully innocent and they were just mean girls who ganged up on her but that wasn't entirely the case.

[(Anonymous)]

Totally agreed!

[(Anonymous)]

While a writer can certainly quit writing for a variety of reasons, and all sorts of things can cause the fun to go out of it... are you really, really going to let spite and jealousy toward a total stranger ruin the pleasure you take in creating something of your own? Really, how does that enrich your life one smidgen?

Also, as a faculty member at a university, I am pretty sure your English profs don't know all about the realities of the world of commercial fiction. They didn't lie to you, they were talking about something else entirely.

[flipthefrog.livejournal.com]

That's why I said it had to be a low-brainpower task--anything more mentally involved than washing dishes also leads to no retention for me. Happily, I've got a 20-minute commute that I could do in my sleep, so that's the perfect time for me to listen to podcasts!

Re: Color Test

[(Anonymous)]

It's possible the test does not use the same blocks of red and green hues that you have trouble distinguishing. The test uses a very limited palette imho, the "red" is more like pink-beige and the "green" is more like tan. None of the colors, except for a few shades of blue and purple, are what I'd be able to mix using primary colors.

Re: Color Test

[ariakas]

Are they really more tan and pink? The top row look completely red and green to me, hahah.

Re: Wow, feel the love and tolerance in this thread....

[(Anonymous)]

lol @ you and all the people trying to make excuses for op's piece of shit friend

if she has social anxiety THAT horrible, she wouldn't have agreed to come visit someone she's never met irl in the first place

stop trying to make the op who tried to make her guest's visit a great one feel bad