fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2466 ]

[ SECRET POST #2466 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2466 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Late day at work, sorry.

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 010 secrets from Secret Submission Post #352.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - omgiknowthem ], [ 1 - troll ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

It might be my laptop monitor? I paint watercolor and none of the colors are what I'd get from mixing magenta, cyan and yellow. They are too dull, for one, too flat and dull. I'm not sure how to explain it. There's nothing that looks anything like leaf green. :(

As we all know, anyone who puts a lot of effort into their appearance and succeeds is to be reviled.

Why isn't Cecil obese? Why doesn't Cecil have a mustache? We all know you can't be truly hard femme without a mustache.

Edited 2013-10-04 13:57 (UTC)

Best. Reply. Ever.

writing accents out phonetically actually comes off as more racist most of the time. you can make it clear that a character has a thick accent without actually spelling it out. I'm scottish and it bugs the ever living shit out of me when people over dramatically spell how they think a scottish accent sounds in fic. it's just fucking goofy

Read the transcripts while listening to the relevant episode? That way your attention can be focused on the words even if your attention wanders from the audio.

Yeah this is why if I do a magic anon, only responders to the open thread I set up about it will get the magic anoned character (and even then I'm choosy about which I'll activate such as morality flips, which is awkward because my characters tend towards the grey anyway). The other threads will continue to have my character as is.

It can be good to explore the limits of the character, but overdoing it, like overdoing anything else, gets tedious.

Okay people, listen up. Mental illness is rough and yeah, if you have it it can drastically alter the way you handle social situations, but here's the thing:

Nobody is responsible for your actions but YOU. And just because you find it difficult to help your behaviour doesn't mean that it doesn't have an impact on those around you. If you do something to hurt someone else due to a mental illness then you need to accept that you did wrong and caused harm to someone close to you.

If OP's friend really does have anxiety, then it's was said friend's duty to say as much before or after the fact. Yeah, having to admit your illness to people when you're not comfortable to can suck but 1) if you're comfortable enough to stay over as their house guest, you have no excuse, and 2) honestly it's in your best interests so the people around you know what to watch out for and can do what they can to make you comfortable.

Whatever the deal with their friend, OP has every right in the goddamn world to be upset over what happened, and you all have to stop projecting your own illnesses onto somebody who you don't even know in order to protect your own egos. You're not the ones whose behaviour is in question here, stop it. We do not know that OP's friend has SA, and even if they did that may justify their actions but it still doesn't make them okay.

OP, speak to your friend about this. If they're worth their goddamn salt as a person then they'll apologise and explain why they behaved in such a way, assuming they do have a good reason outside of simply being an asshole. If it turns out they do have SA or a different disorder, then personally I don't feel you should hold their actions against them any longer. However, you still retain the right to be upset over what happened, and it's entirely your right not to allow them to visit again if you're uncomfortable with the only thing they have to offer with their irl presence being a wall of silence.

tl;dr mental illness is sucky and it's true that sometimes people's behaviours are beyond their control, but that doesn't make the hurt they cause to the people around them go away. I get that everyone in this thread *means* well, but people need to stop putting the ambiguity or whether OP's friend is or isn't a person with social anxiety above the fact that you were still treated very poorly

This.

It is what tag-lines are for. Say that a character speaks with an accent, don't fucking spell it out. It is not only hard to read, depending on the thickness of an accent, but I find written-out accents to be highly offensive as well.

How would you like to see speakers of your language othered and made fun of in that way?

I'm Scottish as well, and while I don't write accents phonetically, if it's a particularly thick accent like Glaswegian or Dundonian I do try to convey the accent in the text without making it too obtrusive. It bugs me reading "so and so said in their thick Scottish accent' if what was said was in plain English, it just seems lazy to me. *shrug* Different strokes I guess.

"If all the great artists and writers in the past had been only the ones who'd had recognition on their lifetimes, literature would be shitty."

...but that's how it works? Shakespear is so classic and awesome today, because in his time he was a celebrity. Same goes for all the greatest literature of all times, they were all best sellers in their days.

I dunno, when fic/novels are written with accents phonetically, I 99% of the time have to read the dialogue aloud (sometimes more than once) to figure out what people are saying. There's nothing worse than sitting somewhere in public going: "It be all fool-talk, lock, stock, and barrel, that's what it be and nowt else. These bans an' wafts an' boh-ghosts an' bar-guests an' bogles an' all anent them is only fit to set bairns an' dizzy women a'belderin'. They be nowt but air-blebs. They, an' all grims an' signs an' warnin's, be all invented by parsons an' illsome berk-bodies an' railway touters to skeer an' scunner hafflin's, an' to get folks to do somethin' that they don't other incline to. It makes me ireful to think o' them. Why, it's them that, not content with printin' lies on paper an' preachin' them ou t of pulpits, does want to be cuttin' them on the tombstones. Look here all around you in what airt ye will."

ARE YOU ME???

Actually yeah, they are quite tolerant. People with social anxiety shouldn't be outright babied, that's condescending and rude in of itself.

If your social anxiety is so bad that you can't a) summon some form of enthusiasm for the things you've been gifted (the day out, etc.) b) summon one or two words 'thanks', 'thank you', 'cheers', etc. and/or c) pull your own weight at the meeting financially or even chore-wise, then you shouldn't expect others to bend over backwards to make excuses for your rudeness.

That's not something that you not notice, even if you're not inclined to give it a name.

na

apparently you don't type out your comments phonetically, but I have no problem accepting the fact that you're Scottish

I have a question, how would you transcribe 'gonnae no dae that' if you don't like seeing Scottish accents written out? Would you change it to 'don't do that'? And if it's racist for someone Scottish to say that, I must be an offensive stereotype.

Agreeing with all the calls for "Social anxiety" with the note that, though I'm not necessarily anxious, I'm super socially awkward, that I sometimes forget to say thank you. And then the time has passed and you can't really say thank you in person. If I realize I forgot to say thank you, I'll usually text them the next day or something though ("Thanks for the other night. I had fun.") which sounds a lot like the "OMG so much fun!" status was (then realizing that they might have seemed like a bit of a bore and wanting to let you know that they enjoyed themselves).

I'm getting a lot better at my thank yous, but I still have trouble with my pleases.

ALL THAT BEING SAID: It's totally acceptable if you don't want to be friends with this person anymore. Assuming they do have some sort of social anxiety disorder or something, not everyone can handle being friends with someone who's mentally ill. And that's okay, because your own happiness should be more important than anyone elses.

Yeah, but commenting on a post isn't exactly writing a story, it's not supposed to be immersive. If this was a voice post, I'd have an accent.

This x1000

Cumberbodies - zombies who love Cumberbatch

So that's how it went for Thoreau, Kafka, Dickinson, Darger, and Plath, huh?

I did this last year? I think? And got a 4. Had trouble with some midrange yellow-greens, but that's it.

None of my fandoms/favorite shows ever get secrets more than once every few weeks, so I can relate. And yeah, wankbait secrets tend to get, well, wanky, so there's no point in commenting.

You have to be careful because that COULD go on your file if you ever wanted to teach in the state again, or at least that particular system. Otherwise, I wouldn't stay. It sounds like you have no control because they have no control, and honestly, it was unfair of them to leave you with that classroom with little to no experience.

(Not OP, but since you didn't get an answer yet, I'll jump in. :) )

It's Splinter from the Nickelodeon version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...which I just marathoned and am now in love with, so I recommend.

Sometimes people talk about things you don't care about. No need to be nasty.

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[ SECRET POST #2466 ]

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