[ SECRET POST #2482 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2482 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Friending Meme is below!

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 065 secrets from Secret Submission Post #355.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

04. http://i.imgur.com/tavA6A3.jpg

[kaijinscendre]

For me it depends on the circumstances of the cheating. Then again, most things depend on context.

[queerwolf]

It's one of my hot buttons. Even fictional characters aren't let off the hook.

[rivia]

ugh this arc :c i really appreciate how they very clearly showed how this was Chiana's reaction to D'Argo going full-tilt on the commitment train and her being terrified of it. it all still hurt though :c

[forgottenjester]

I generally don't like it but if you don't care it's not a big deal.

Also, that scene in Farscape though was the weirdest infidelity thing I ever saw.

[sootyowl]

With Chiana, I hated that she cheated on D'Argo, but she was running away from commitment. She wanted to screw up her relationship with him, which was what was so sad about her cheating.

It was still a really messed up thing to do (His son? Really girl?), and D'argo deserved better. I still loved Chiana tho.

Like Kaijin said, it depends on the circumstance of why said character cheated and their redemption arch.

[(Anonymous)]

Having been cheated on, I find infidelity a deal breaker, even in my fiction. I never liked Gwen on Torchwood for this reason, her early on cheating on Rhys. There's no reason for cheating. Ever. If you're not happy with someone, break up with them, don't fuck someone else. I never fully warmed up to Rose on Doctor Who because she wouldn't just fully break up with Mickey and kept flirting with everyone else across time and space. I haven't gotten far enough along in Farscape yet to catch your reference, though.

[(Anonymous)]

That is one of those things I just do not read. And get annoyed when people don't label or warn for it. I was just reading a fic that was labeled Bob/Steve but within the first chapter Bob was all "Oh I'm with Vicki now...but she doesn't need to know about this". No warning, no mention, no nothing. I don't even get why the author had that in there unless they have a thing for cheating, which you'd think they'd label or something.

But yeah, I'm one of those "silly" people who get really bothered by it.

[feotakahari]

In retrospect, one of the first clues I was asexual was that I just plain didn't understand infidelity. I first encountered it in The Firm by John Grisham, where Mitch cheats on his wife with a beautiful stranger, this isn't the first time he's done it, and he's supposed to be sympathetic--I couldn't figure out why he would want to have sex with someone other than his wife. (Of course, it didn't help that the line that convinces him to do it is "No one will ever know." Is that really the moral standard you want to use, Mitch?)

As for infidelity in other works, I've never read or watched another one where the cheater was supposed to be sympathetic rather than detestable. (Catherine doesn't count--Vincent's never entirely a consenting partner unless you get Catherine's ending, and in any event he's not really sympathetic anyway.) TV Tropes says it happens a lot in stuff where a woman cheats on a man, but every listed example is either something I've never watched or read, or an "aversion."

[(Anonymous)]

I'm the opposite, I find people treat it too lightly in fiction. It's so often just treated as just another little plot twist to get the couple together but it's just awful to me. I'm okay with it if the characters actually ACT like it's a problem, but so often I've seen fics where, for instance, the girl cheats on the guy, and then everyone is comforting HER, acting as though the guy is ridiculous for feeling hurt. I can't stand those.

Obviously cheating is often a result of some other problem in the relationship where both people are at fault, but cheating is still a really shitty way to treat someone no matter what. And it annoys me how it so often turns into a blame game, like "oh you didn't pay enough attention to me so I fucked your best friend, you should be the one apologizing". I've seen that way too many times... it's ridiculous.

[arcadiaego]

I'm the same. Characters are human and sometimes they screw up.

I'm really curious about something

[(Anonymous)]

Specifically, what's the overlap between people bothered by cheating and people who've been cheated on? I know cheating in fiction bothers me even though I've never personally experienced it IRL, but I seriously doubt the reverse is true (people who are okay with fictional cheating despite having been cheated on in real life.)

So. Any thoughts anyone?

[brooms]

i find it so hot (in fiction) when the cheating is all about the person being cheated. like A cheating with C not because C is A's first option, but because B is emotionally unavailable. cheating as gamble is such a fab angst device.

[(Anonymous)]

Cheating is a huge no-no for me, in real life and in fiction. There's a very popular fic in my main fandom that has cheating in it, don't like how the cheating plot was resolved, and I don't like the fic because of it.

[(Anonymous)]

There are a couple of canon marriages in my fandom, and I'll cheerfully read a threesome of one of them (or foursome, because the characters are all so fabulous together), but when I came across a fic with the male character of the other marriage cheating on his wife with his old boyfriend, it really squicked me out. Mostly because when the old boyfriend protested the marriage and cheating, the husband said, "Oh, it doesn't matter, she's not very loveable, and our kids got their brains and looks from me."

tl;dr - I'd prefer everyone being aware of the relationship and being on board with it, rather than cheating (especially if bashing is involved).

[(Anonymous)]

I can still like a character after they cheated, it just depends on some things... like, does it only happen once (and never again after) and does the character 1.) feel deep remorse and 2.) tells their partner right afterwards or does the character have an affair with one or more than one other person over a longer period of time.
I can still work with the former, but would probably lose my love for the letter (depending on if it isn't a love-to-hate character in the first place).

Maybe I'm too forgiving, but I mostly have the same parameters in real life (depending on the cirumstances of course). I've seen relationships die after one person cheated, but I've also seen some survive (where they even got married two years later).

[(Anonymous)]

Automatic backbutton for me. If the characters can't do something as basic as keep their pants on when sexually frustrated, they can't be trusted in any other aspect of their behaviour (eg many, many RL politicians.) Why should I be interested in these characters? My sympathy instantly turns to the cheated-on person.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't care either. I don't come across it often enough to develop much of an opinion about it.

[(Anonymous)]

I have this strange attitude about cheating in that I find it so impossible to understand why a generally not-shitty person would do it, but am forced to accept that it is fairly prevalent, and just kind of cope with that by assuming there is something about it I cannot understand and being maybe exceptionally forgiving about it? In fiction I just kind of accept it because it's so overused you can barely get around it. IRL, if the relationship is going into the gutter I tend to think it's forgivable but if you're cheating when in a good relationship you're probably always going to be dishonest.

[(Anonymous)]

While it's not a deal breaker, like anything else in a story, I'm hitting the back button if it's handled ineptly. Cheating is a huge fucking deal, almost always with consequences (unless the cheater keeps it an ironclad secret then it's all on them only), and it shouldn't be used lightly, though I possible even more detest the "automatically unforgivable FOREVER!" mentality. It's too black and white and ignores the fact people do go through this and recover.

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

Maybe because I have never experienced it, maybe it's my apathy, or maybe it's what I say about separating Real Life and fiction, but I am very much the same.

It's fiction, it doesn't really hurt anyone living, so it doesn't bother me.

Oh, I might quibble depending on just how much a given story grabs me, but once I am out of that particular story, it doesn't bother me.

I might be slightly more bothered in RP though. I think RP has more emotional investment for me.

[(Anonymous)]

My siblings were born because my mom cheated on my dad. lol I was the only "legitimate" kid, even though I was the youngest. Awkward, right? lol But they divorced when I was a baby, my mom married the guy and now I have two dads. You'd never guess my mom did it, my parents are the serious professional type, but that just goes to nip those stereotypes, I guess.

I don't mean this just as a funny anecdote. I think it's terrible what my mother made my biological father go through, but at the same time, I sort of taught myself to empathize - she was really unhappy and depressed, and this other guy just made her feel so alive. And, well, I love my family the way it is - two families, my older siblings, I can't imagine it any other way.

Cheating is inherently bad, but it doesn't make you an evil person, is what I'm trying to say. And the situation can go beyond just the act of cheating, and good can come out of it. So... yep.

/ramble

It's not an automatic deal-breaker for me.

[(Anonymous)]

But it's pretty close. There is a pretty narrow set of circumstances under which I would still find an unfaithful character as sympathetic as I did before their infidelity.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it depends on the seriousness of the couple's relationship. If it's a casual thing and someone strays it doesn't bother me that much. But if there's like deep trust between the two and one person is cheating despite knowing it would hurt the other and they just don't care enough I just think it's all types of shitty.

[(Anonymous)]

Cheating characters are rarely likable but I hate when stories will go on like they deserve to die because of it. I couldn't bring up examples off the top of my head, but I've definitely noticed a trend in the things I've watched where the worst thing a woman could do is cheat so let's kill that bitch.