[ SECRET POST #2660 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2660 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 048 secrets from Secret Submission Post #380.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

11. http://i.imgur.com/cqgAA4K.png

[(Anonymous)]

What do you possibly say for 700 words in a review? That's a mini-essay. o_0

[chardmonster]

What the fuck is wrong with you that you are writing seven hundred word reviews? What could you possibly be saying that needs seven hundred words?

Most academic book reviews are not seven fucking hundred words long.

You are kind of weird and blaming fic authors for not fawning over you for it, because I can't see the point of writing a SEVEN HUNDRED WORD REVIEW if it's not for attention.

[(Anonymous)]

I would feel exhausted, not happy, if I received a 700-word review. That's more like a short fic, for goodness sake.

[(Anonymous)]

I like long reviews, but I dread REALLY long reviews, they just make me feel like I have to write an equivalent response. 700 words? That's almost another fic!

Thanks for you!

[insanenoodlyguy]

Thanks for wasting everybody's time you sad bastard.

[(Anonymous)]

Well aren't you a pretentious little asshole.

[tamabonotchi]

I thought the 700-word review was a typo, but I guess not

[(Anonymous)]

700 words is far too long. I hate it when people don't say thanks, but no wonder they were weirded out. Unless you meant that you left several reviews which came to 700 words... grasping at straws, here.

[(Anonymous)]

700 words is a fuckton of words to just drop on someone. I wouldn't be surprised if the author was terrified to engage with the kind of person who writes that much about a fanfic. Not a fanfic, just a review of one.

[caffeine_buzz]

But maybe the author is not good at replying to reviews? Maybe they're a bit intimidated because you just wrote a freakin' 700-word review and feel like if they reply with something like "Thanks, glad you liked it" it will seem bland and fake and so they decide it's better to not reply at all? Speaking for myself, I rarely reply to reviews unless I'm asked a question or basically feel I have something to say because I get nervous about saying something dumb or not seeming properly grateful for the review or anything. Seriously, there are lots of reasons why some authors don't like to reply to reviews, give us socially-impaired types a break.

[fingalsanteater]

Stop writing 700 word long reviews. Jfc. Reviews are nice. Essays- not so much.

[(Anonymous)]

I got a review that long recently and I loved it like woah.
I also took my time to respond at length, because it was worth and I was really too happy and grateful to not do so.

So keep your long reviews, anon, some of us do love them ♥

[(Anonymous)]

Was the fic longer than 700 words? Because it annoys me that when an author who writes a long fic complains about getting kudos or faves but not reviews everyone's like "No one owes you a review!" but if someone writes a review the author now owes them a reply. They wrote a fic you liked, why should they owe you more than that?

[blueonblue]

One of the longest reviews I ever received was around 350 words. It was very much appreciated, especially because the fic was an odd pairing so it had no reviews and a low hit/kudo ratio. (Tiger & Bunny, Yuri/Barnaby) I was really happy to read the review, but responding was a little stressful because I didn't know what to say besides THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!! I don't know how I would respond to a 700 word review.

[(Anonymous)]

700 words seems like a lot....

but I also have a few issues with authors that don't acknowledge comments. (and similarly I feel like readers should leave comments). it's part and parcel.

I leave comments on around 50-60% of stories I read. Sometimes I... just can't. It is so badly written, or it just rubs me the wrong way. Sometimes I don't, because it has a stack of comments (or even just a few) and the author hasn't bothered responding.

oh! and it's a bit petty, but I agree - it really rubs me the wrong way authors who say 'the more the reviews the faster I will update' or what not. I tend to think they are very young.

(having said that, I am one of those terrible authors will a million WIPs who updates only sporadically.)

(also, most of the time? they aren't reviews. they are just comments. why has the language gone this way?)

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, if you take the time to leave a lengthy, well-thought out review, then the author should at the very least reply with a thank you. I agree. It's just rude not to.

And don't let other people think that there's something wrong with you OP, because there's plenty of other fic authors out there who do appreciate long reviews.

I also agree that authors who are holding out on chapters of a fic for more reviews and attention are really shitty.

[(Anonymous)]

You know what, OP? You just go ahead and keep on writing your reviews. Some of us like any and all reviews from the "adsfjksdlnjdnfjadsnfjnasf WHAT IS AIR" to the long reviews.

If someone takes time to read my fic and wants to engage me in a discussion about it? Hells yeah. Bring that shit on.

But that may be a fundamental difference between an extroverted writer like me and an introverted one. I respond to each and every review/comment I get. I appreciate my readers. Fuck writers who don't.

[caecilia]

Maybe they are self conscious about receiving praise? Or they might not be that proud of what they wrote, or they don't read reviews because it makes them anxious...you never know what the other person is thinking. But you said upthread that 9/10 people appreciate your reviews, and I think that's pretty good. Most legit authors don't have that kind of approval rating.

[cakemage]

Every writer is different. For me, fanfic reviews that long make me uncomfortable and I'm never quite sure how to respond. It's not that I don't appreciate reviews, be they positive or negative, but as one of those introverted and socially awkward writers, replying to normal reviews can be intimidating enough, especially if you aren't sure that doing so is even considered appropriate on a given site. Unasked-for essay reviews are just flat out overwhelming.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm kind of amazed by how many people in this thread fail at very basic social skills. Is it really so hard to say 'thank you'? If you can't even do that, you probably shouldn't be posting your writing online for other people to see.

How long is 700 words? This long.

[(Anonymous)]

How long is seven hundred words. I do not know it's probably kind a long, I'd assume. But who really knows? This is only twenty words long right now, but no anymore because I wrote more. I really enjoy grapefruit and sometimes I eat green apples because they taste the best. Oh wow, could this be intimidating and scary? I don't think it is. But it might be as it's kind long about one of tenth of seven hundred.

How do I feel about kittens? I think kittens are really cute and fluffy. I think people who like kittens should pet them because kittens are pretty great. Long haired silver haired ones are especially fantastic. Tuna is a fish that might be overfished. That is sad because I might not be able eat tuna anymore if that keeps up. Also all the tuna in the world would be dead and that would be sad. Mermaids might cry some if that happened. I might too. And worst of all I wouldn't have any fancy tuna. I'd buy some fancy rats instead.

Water is really good for you. You should apparently drink 8 glasses of water a day to be healthy. This is important, but not as important as me bullshitting my way to writing seven hundred words as a really dumb example however.

Did you know that pink is a light shade of red? Who decided that red was so special that adding some white to it should result a brand new word? I bet it was those damn commies.

Social media is killing our children's ability to communicate and hold their attention. The obvious solution is to burn the internet. Burn it down to the ground. And then cry some, like when all the tuna died.

How do *you* feel about tumblr? I hear some secret community on the internet hates its guts. But what did it ever do to it? Bullying is bad. Verbs are what you do. Heat sensitive color changing tie-dye shirts are a lost art that needs to be revived. I mean, how else can I demonstrate to the world I'm not actually a vampire and have the ability to exert heat. I'm camera shy and atheist, so photos or church-adversity won't work.

Socks are an important part of any outfit. I like black socks and maybe white, but this silly neon trend going around is pretty ridiculous. What's next neon underwear? Neon bras? Who needs such flashy things when you could just repaint your room instead. I know I don't.

I think eggs are amazing. I mean is there any other food that's so versatile? You can fix an egg like omelet, over easy, or scrambled and it still tastes great. They're also cheaper than dirt, which makes them a great addition to any college student's home. Being vegan must be hard. Being vegan and a college student's probably like a double-whammy to your bank account. Bang. I'm really hungry right now, but I've got a point to prove so write I must.

Bacon is also kind of cool. But only crispy. People who like flabby, uncooked bacon are the worst kind of people. I bet they worship the devil in their spare time, like they heathens they are.

I wonder why nobody likes the color orange? Is it because it's bright and sunny. Or it's got a new show on the tee vee? I mean what's so great about the color blue anyway? I mean the sky's blue and what's that ever done for me.

Though that lunar eclipse was pretty cool, am I right? It totally happened and it was cloudy for some people, which is unfortunate. I don't actually know if it was cloudy for me because I forgot to look outside. How sad. There are more tears streaming down my face. Not torrenting, though, because that shit's super illegal most of the time.

Whee, The Velveteen Rabbit was a book that I read when I was little. So was Good Night Moon. The IPhone didn't exist back then. Neither did my cat. Trains were still around though and that was cool. And with that I wish you a good night. Night!

[perverse_idyll]

I probably shouldn't get into this, but I'm a bit saddened and bewildered by some of the pissed-off denunciations of long feedback in this thread. I don't actually care if a writer thanks me for a review; some do, some don't. In my turn, I try to respond to all the reviews left on my stories because I'm grateful for them. It's really brilliant having an audience.

But part of the pleasure I get (or perhaps that should be past tense now) from journal fandom is rhapsodizing over fic and writing out a verbal flail. It's as much a way of participating in fandom as meta or conversation or producing a fic of my own. I realize that that kind of long, dense back-and-forth is dying out with journal fandom, but I guess I never got the message that multiple comment boxes were considered a burden inflicted on the writer.

Anyway, I just checked a comment I left on a fic I loved when it was first posted, and you know what? It's almost 1700 words. Yeah, it's embarrassing. Yes, it's blithery. Over the top. Emotional. Probably pretentious, too, although I really fucking hate the use of that word in fandom because it's generally intended to silence the recipient. But I had a fantastic time writing out that comment because I was running on the emotional high from the fic, and the people who shared my shipping preferences at the time actually enjoyed talking to each other, and there was no one around to say, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I wrote that feedback in the hope of letting the writer know she'd created something wonderful, and I wrote it for me because I was excited and had a lot to say. And it's not the only three-comment-boxes worth of feedback I've posted over the years.

I was under the impression that writers liked receiving feedback. When did posting paragraphs of infatuated praise suddenly become the wrong way to do fandom? Or has it always been frowned upon and I just didn't know?

[beverlykatz]

I love getting long reviews on my fics. It's one of the greatest feelings ever, that someone enjoyed my writing enough to really sit down and give me their thoughts. The thing is, a seven hundred word review, depending on the length of the fic, would probably still make me a little uncomfortable. That's not exactly the word I want, but it's close. Like, what do you want me to do with this? It's a substantial chunk of words, so are you just reviewing? Are you looking for cookies? Are you trying to cozy up to me? Do you want to chat about the fic? Are you naturally verbose? (General you here, not directed at OP in particular.) I don't know which one of these is true. A few other people upthread have mentioned feeling obligated to respond with a similar word count, and I agree. I don't want the reviewer to feel slighted by a short answer, and even if you personally wouldn't, others might. In terms of starting a dialogue... honestly, the review section isn't the best place for that. I'd suggest messaging the author and asking them that way, but that can also come off as rather forward. It's hard to give advice here, though, because attitudes about reviews vary a lot from author to author, as this thread proves.

tl;dr: Err on the side of shorter if you don't know the author likes long reviews, and don't expect a reply, because even a thousand-word review doesn't deserve one.

[(Anonymous)]

Get a life.