[ SECRET POST #3266 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3266 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #467.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

12. http://i.imgur.com/UVN2WxN.png

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

Sometimes I resent the fact that most fanfic writers (especially for slash) are women. And, even if you don't actually know their gender, it'd be easier to assume they are.

S!B: I'm a guy and I feel so fucking dumb for actually think this. Plus it makes me feel pathetic and think that maybe the reason for this is because I suck at making friends with guys in real life.

[(Anonymous)]

Just use a female pen name then. Problem solved.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't get it. Why do you resent it?

[(Anonymous)]

SA

Like, is it because you don't like people assuming you're female? Or assuming male slash writers don't exist? Or you feel like you don't fit in because you're male? It's unspecific enough to be confusing right now...

[caerbannog]

+2
I don't get it either, what is the secret? What exactly is being resented?

[(Anonymous)]

I can get why you'd feel that way, bro. I mean, if it's stemming from some kind of sexism, like it's "lesser" to hang out with women than men, then yeah, you gotta work on that. But I get the feeling that the group that should be "your" group just doesn't accept you, so you go to groups where you inevitably feel like an outsider. And some women-dominated fandoms can be pretty nasty to guys, just as men-dominated fandoms can be nasty to women. I hope your chosen fandoms welcome you and you don't feel like an outsider. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Most likely it is stemming from the fact that OP wants to hang with other men. Because just like women hang out with each other and talk about things that only pertain to them (be it romantic, health wise, etc), men like to do that too.

People like to hang out with similar people. It...is just the way it is.

[(Anonymous)]

Eh.

I admit there are times that I worry about intruding on a space that's not basically for me. But that's really the only thing about it that bothers me. It is what it is.

[(Anonymous)]

I want to answer with deep thoughts about this, but I don't know what to say. Other than that it must suck and also seems like meaningless use of energy.

[ariakas]

Eh, it's not out fault that they don't like it as often, nor our responsibility to make them like it if they don't.

That said, if you're really hard up, I've found that there are overwhelmingly more slash-writing men in video game fandoms than in fandoms for other media. Especially if the men in question are more muscle daddy than twink (see: Chris Redfield). Just the demographics of gamers versus tv-watchers and readers and whatnot, I'm sure, but it's something that surprised me when I went from slash fandoms that were 99.9% to female to 90% female.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, it sucks being a guy and not being able to call the shots or be the dominant force in one small field. I bet women don't know what that is like at all.

[gobbledigook]

As someone who's more into art fanworks than written ones, I'll just say that while it'd be nice to have more gay men in fandom in general, I'm more grateful for the works produced by the female fans. :^|

[kallanda_lee]

Do you actually write fic yourself? It's a good way to interact, and if you interact people tend to be more likely to know your gender. And I'd guess if there's just a handful of you, you'd have stuff to bond over with other male writers.

BTW, percentage of male writers in higher in original m/m fic, so that could be something to get into if that's something you're looking for.

[aenrhien]

I know the feeling, OP. I know a whole two men who are part of fandom other than me, and it's a really lonely experience, because the reactions (to me anyways) tend to skew a lot more towards "boys don't belong in fandom go away" than anything else. Good luck on finding male slash writers though. I dabble in it occasionally, but I mostly avoid slash fic because it tends to be really badly written.

I'm always available to rant about fandoms to if we have any of the same ones though!

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure why it would matter...?

[(Anonymous)]

You're uncomfortable with having so much in common with women and might want to work on realizing it doesn't matter.

[herpymcderp]

That's a silly thing to resent, OP.

You are a silly person.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, it sucks when you find it difficult to make friends with a type of people

As an adult I'm trying to figure out how to make male friends. (I'm a woman.) Small groups seem to work okay, but I miss getting to know someone one-on-one without having to go through the this-is-not-a-date awkward shuffle.

[(Anonymous)]

I think you and Nathaniel Hawthorne would get along very well.

[(Anonymous)]

Wah poor menz: Now in secret flavour.

[(Anonymous)]

If most fanfic writers were male, I'd probably feel massively uncomfortable putting my work out there, so I get it.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm....sorry bro, but I honestly have no idea why you'd be upset about that. Legit. I assume you're definitely past that point in grade school where you think girls (if you're a guy) are gross, so..?

[dahli]

There are a lot of male slash shippers out there. You just gotta actively look for them.

[(Anonymous)]

Me too, OP. I feel like I'm alienating myself from male relationships being in fandom...