[ SECRET POST #3424 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3424 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 15 secrets from Secret Submission Post #488.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

I experienced no bugs. I'm starting to wonder if you're just unlucky, or you're hallucinating bugs that aren't there, because you seem to get ALL the bugs.

And the ending is fine, though I understand why you wouldn't like it. It's rather divisive, but IMO that's what makes it brilliant.

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

According to some other internet reviews their PS4 copies had the same problem, so it wasn't just us. The particular thing with the disc we had is that the prompts for stealth takedowns sometimes just wouldn't work, which meant that there was a certain percentage of the time where a clicker could turn around and nom you despite you having pressed the button for a takedown. It was infuriating.

Bad prompt inputs are also a thing that happened to us a lot in the first Uncharted game as well (especially in climbing sections, although it was slightly more hilarious to watch Drake fling himself to his death when you had just pressed the jump button), so I'm inclined to believe it was actually Naughty Dog putting out an imperfect product for the console.

I don't know about the PC though, obvs.

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[ariakas]

Psssssst. We played it on the PS3.

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

WOOPS. lol.

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[ariakas]

The game wasn't all bad. I remember that part where you're in gas masks going through the tunnels near the start and talking about how you have to get out of the zone, and someone comes around the corner with a flashlight

GET OUT OF HERE STALKER

And every time you randomly die because the enemy and ally AI is rusty sandpaper to the vagina levels of bad, such is life in the zone.

It also introduced us to the world's worst human, Joel.

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

No one will ever be worse than Joel. They can try, but he will always be the shining epitome of terrible, against which all others will be measured.

And you say it wasn't bad now... but you forget the sections where you were forced to be stealthy, and how much frothing rage there was at the prompts not working.

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[ariakas]

No the actual gameplay itself sucked a thousand festering dicks, I just remember having some joyful moments. Like

GET OUT OF HERE STALKER

And the part where you get to play Elie. (Elly? Ellie?) That entire sequence was actually pretty enjoyable. Also the zoo/university/wherever the fuck with the animals.

But yes the subway section in the dark where half the prompts don't work and the part where I FUCKING MASTERFULLY snuck past the sniper only to realize they fucking INVISIBLE WALLED you from being able to flank him, because you shouldn't be good at a video game, you're interrupting our ~~~~narrative~~~~ Oh and you can't actually countersnipe him either because he doesn't ACTUALLY EXIST until you get close enough because that wasn't the singular dumbest part of WaW or anything.

Remember how pants-on-head asstarded the AI was? Like when I ran up onto that truck and nothing could follow me because they weren't programmed to do so? Or the ones that literally _could not find_ me when I backed off into the cell and ran screaming around the whole sewer area (ignoring Ellie because Ellie doesn't exist or something) while I took pot shots?

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

I remember. I remember it like it was yesterday. That game was not good. So many issues... it was like the first Uncharted game in terms of the AI not knowing it's ass from a hole in the ground and Joel being programmed to be just as suicidal as Drake.

I remember this exact sequence happening at least five times with the standoff in the garage, where you get jumped by several raiders and have to get into cover before they shoot your head off: you would attempt to stick yourself to the hood of the truck or whatever cover was closest, and the game would just vault you over it instead because ...I guess you were running while you approached it? Good times.

At least with Drake it was funny because the death animations/sound clips were usually gold. With Joel it was just maddening.

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

I played on PS3, so that's probably your problem. I don't trust "HD re-releases" of a game that came out in the last 5 years. Hell, I barely trust "HD re-releases" of any console game.

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

lol I was wrong as it turns out. What Ari said: we did get the PS3 version.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

Then I dunno what to tell you. Seems like every game you play has "bugs."

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

I don't know if you realize this since you say you don't really play modern games, but a lot of newer games do have bugs these days... pretty severe ones. I play a fair number of AAA games, and I usually play them shortly after release.

The typical treatment of an AAA title is to have it rushed out of development without fixing issues because of course you can always patch that later (and usually those patches never really manifest unless it's a game-breaking issue).

It's not really my fault that I notice these things. I'm certainly not the only person to notice them or comment on them.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

Oooh, it's been a while since I've gotten the classic Herpy Condescension™! I don't know what dogs barking in your head told you I said anything of the sort, but it's categorically untrue, and what you're describing simply is not apparent to me, and we play a lot of the same games. Do many games come with bugs? Sure, but I have never experienced any of the things you've described in any of the games we've mutually played. I've never had a problem with the stealth in TLOU or the prompts, which I never really needed after a while anyway.

Of course, now that the gloves are off I don't have to pretend to be polite, so I'm going to tell you right now that I think what you're mistaking for bugs or poor design decisions almost certainly amounts to brutal incompetence on your part. Like, DarkSydePhil levels of sucking ass.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

looooool ok. Sorry I made you mad enough to try to insult my ~gaming skillz~, but you're the one who has mentioned to me multiple times that you play mostly retro games (the ones I recall most are System Shock and older Fallout titles).

It was an honest question. If you actually were primarily a retro gamer I wouldn't expect you to be all that familiar with the shitty state of game releases this generation.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

I ain't even mad. But I never once said to you that I "mostly" play retro games because that would be a lie. I mean, I do play a lot of them, but I play an equal amount of more recent games. I mean, it's not like I haven't CLEARLY had my pants halfway down to my knees over Doom 2016. Or XCOM 2. Or a lot of other games made in the last 5 years. So you assumed that because I play games made a decade or more ago, that MUST mean I'm a retrogamer, let's just ignore all the time I talk about more recent games.

And I didn't have to be mad to insult your gaming skills. I legitimately think you're a bad player, and I'd been dancing around it earlier in this thread trying to be polite.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

I guess I could point to CoD spec ops rankings in the top 1000-10,000 (out of several million, obvs) to "prove" I'm good at video games, but like... why? I finished M:LL on hard no-kill, all stealth too. It doesn't really matter to me what you assume about my skill at gaming though, because that's childish as hell and seems like something a gamergater would resort to.

For real: you have said directly to me multiple times that you were a retro gamer. Sorry I assumed that was the truth.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[ariakas]

I don't actually think they were bugs, I think they were spectacularly bad programming and design decisions that could have won the Derp of the Year Award.

But everyone forgives it that because the story gave them feels.

Also I hear the MP is good but I've never played it.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

The non-functioning prompts is definitely a bug, tho. Otherwise they wouldn't have just randomly decided to work half the time.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[ariakas]

Every time I think of what a diseased, festering pile of excrement the stealth in that game was, I remember how good it was in Metro 2033/Last Light. IA with Yahtzee: gold-fucking-standard right there. And I think I played the two games too close together to have anything but the worst disdain for TLOU shitting the best when MLL succeeded so brilliantly.

MLL: clear distinction between when you will be heard or seen and when you won't be, which works the same way in every sequence, with hazards you can use to minimize/increase your risk in a predictable fashion. Takedown prompts work 100% of the time when timed correctly.

TLOU: JOEL'S CROUCHED DOWN BEHIND A BOX 1/3 HIS SIZE THREE FEET FROM AN ENEMY BUT HE ~CAN'T BE SEEN~. Next sequence: JOEL IS HALFWAY ACROSS THE MAP BEHIND A SOLID BRICK WALL, TAKES A SINGLE STEP FORWARD AND OH NO~~ THE SAME HUMAN ENEMY SPOTS HIM!!! And, like, you can walk ten feet away from this fungus zombie but only five from this one, but this one spots you no matter what because ~~~~~~drama~~~~~~~. Want to use a takedown? Roll them dice, fucker.

There was a vague sexual threat in there at some point though so it was gritty and real. I do have to give it that.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

Hnnnngh. Metro's stealth was so good that not only did I actually go through the entire game with an (almost) no-kill playthrough, I had FUN doing it.

Compared to that, TLoU's stealth gameplay was straight garbage served on a pile of shit and perfumed with a fart.

And ...I've complained about the ending enough that I won't get too much into it again but... Fuck. At least make it a real dilemma that actually might occur ever in existence. You can't bullshit a neuroscience major on this, guys. You just can't.

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[dethtoll]

Stealth bad in TLOU, good in M2033 (let alone "gold standard"!)

biggest lmao in the world

(it's better in MLL tho)

(frozen comment) Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[ariakas]

Look, they need all of baby Jesus allegory's blood, ok.

No, I don't care that there's not enough blood inside a single person to transfuse everyone in the world. That's just how much they need.

No, they can't just take enough that it won't kill him and then feed him some cookies and take the rest in a couple of days.

For... reasons you stupid ingrate shut your mouth and enjoy your parable.

~~~~Joel~~~~~

The story ends with Joel turning around gruffly to manfully face the sunset beardfully, and Ellie shoots him in the back of the head.

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[fishnchips]

Buggy games can be both hilarious and infuriating. I had the most buggy versions of Assassin's Creed:Brotherhood and Assassin's Creed 3 (both graphics and game play bugs). Newly upgraded weapons would just disappear from the inventory during the next mission. Horses were walking on water. The complete game environment glitching out during cutscenes. A leap of faith getting interrupted half way down so Ezio landed on a roof and died. Unlocked areas locking up again for no reason. Hair on characters disappearing. It was... pretty bad. Nobody I know had this many bugs in those games.

I'd actually prefer waiting longer for the release of a game if that meant getting an actually functioning game, but alas, waiting is not a guarantee that things actually improve. (Yay for bug-fixes and patches that actually make the games worse than better)

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[herpymcderp]

Oh absolutely.

Skyrim's bugs were incredible. I had one where a questline npc appeared outside one of the major settlements and just... kept multiplying whenever I would fast travel there. Eventually there was a little herd of that one npc just wandering around. It was pretty amazing.

Unfortunately in the case of TLoU there weren't any fun bugs. Just annoying ones.

Re: What media did you instantly regret spending money on?

[(Anonymous)]

Dude. Just because you didn't experience bugs doesn't mean they don't exist. What a stupid thing to say. Just Google Last of Us bugs or glitches