fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4171 ]

[ SECRET POST #4171 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4171 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #597.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I have a question.

As you all know, I started a job recently that I love. It is something I've never done but am getting the hang of.

We create a specific item and the company has been around for 50+ years. We manufacture our goods in Nicaragua with a factory we own and operate. I am a production planner coordinating between sales and the factory. I have two coworkers and my boss (who have all been there longer).

If you've been reading the news, Nicaragua has been having political unrest for the past 2 months or so. A couple weeks ago, our factory was closed for a couple days because of how dangerous it was to travel. This week they have been closed two days so far. If they are closed tomorrow, our week is basically fucked. This is on top of six months of other issues we have had that everyone assures me is not normal that has made procuring materials hard.

Because of all this, the past two days I have had nothing to do. I am worried about my job security if things continue to carry on like this.

Should I ask my boss if there is a chance of me being laid off? Or if they have anything else in the company for me to do until we get back on track? I just don't want to be blindsided if they do have to lay me off.

I don't see that there is any harm in asking about the work disruption. It's not like it's a big secret, so it shouldn't be a surprise to ask about it.

Personally, I might not ask about being laid off, because why give them ideas, but I would definitely put in a pitch that I'd be available to help out in other areas until things get back to normal.

Yeah, someone else mentioned that I should just ask about stuff to do. Which, I would rather do anything than nothing.

Seconding the suggestion to offer to help out with other things until everything is back on track. It demonstrates you're a motivated employee and care about the company. They're far more likely to retain you if things don't stabilise soon than if you're questioning your job security. The first shows you care about your job, the second shows you care about you.

I've been sort of cross trained on some other stuff. But that person is gone this week so she can't train me anymore. But, I will see if they got something else for me to do.

I'd ask about any other stuff you could be doing or learning. It's a good opportunity for further training.

You can have a look at your finances and update your resume to see where you're at if you do have to start looking for other work. If there are other employees, you could ask them if they've been through periods like this before.

You can ask your boss. They might be pretty stressed about it, so keep that in mind. Generally companies have a plan in place for shutdowns if they outsource manufacturing. It really depends on your boss and how open and honest they're willing to be with you. I'm not familiar with your state laws or your job agreement, but maybe have a look into those and see how much notice or payout you're entitled to if they do need to let you go.

Re: Advice.

kaijinscendre - 2018-06-06 00:20 (UTC) - Expand

Don't ask if you're going to get layed off, I don't think, unless it's very informally of someone you trust.

Do try to find other things you can do to be helpfully. And plan for the worst, even though things will probably be completely fine.

Re: Advice.

kaijinscendre - 2018-06-06 12:15 (UTC) - Expand

I agree with all the people who say you should ask if there's something else to do. We do things like that where I work, help out in other departments or get helped out by other departments, depending on workload. Works really well, too.

Re: Advice.

kaijinscendre - 2018-06-06 12:17 (UTC) - Expand

How should I organize a baby shower for someone when I hate half of my sister's friends? They are okay people, I just don't like them.

The same way as if you really liked them all. It isn't about you, it's about the expectant mom and her friends having a good time and laughing and bonding.

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 02:35 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 03:04 (UTC) - Expand

Why do you hate them so much if they're okay people tho

Plan the shower your sister and her friends will enjoy. Escape to be busy in the kitchen with hostess duties periodically if they're squealing or talking about you being next or something.

Make the desserts in unpopular or controversial flavors, like licorice.

No.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 00:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 00:34 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 02:59 (UTC) - Expand

Relatives should not throw showers.

Ask one of her friends to take over and then you extra don't have to be involved!

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 02:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 03:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 03:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 04:00 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 05:29 (UTC) - Expand

You do as good of a job as you can, just as you would if they were cool and you liked them a lot. This shower isn't about them, or you. It's about your sister. If you'd like her to have a nice time, suck it up and throw an awesome shower.

Was just in a similar situation; bachelorette party planning for a friend and I just ... DO NOT understand or like a few of her other friends. The mantra you use is:

This is a party I am throwing for my sister.
My sister enjoys her friends.
So I will throw a party where she and her friends can enjoy themselves.

And then find one thing you SUPER enjoy about the party to focus on. (For me, I love baking and food, so I threw myself into that. YAY! CAKE! is a sentiment you can share with pretty much anybody, no matter how little you have in common)

You presumably like the OTHER half of her friends. So concentrate on hostess-ing (this usually precludes much socializing anyway) and when you DO have a breather to enjoy the party, too, then hang out with YOUR SISTER, whom you love, and the friends of hers you DO like, and yeah, be polite and inclusive of the others because, fuck it, it's just one day and they're okay, after all.

Should I spend $70 on 3lbs of beef jerky? I have the money for it but spending money on myself AND food always seems like a waste.

It wouldn't be my choice but you do you. Go for it if it's good value for your money and don't forget to factor in your enjoyment.

Nobody needs that much jerky.

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 01:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 02:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 04:02 (UTC) - Expand

So... male acquaintance (semi- but not close friend) just asked me out. Sort of invited himself to my apartment along with a female friend after a mutual friend gathering, and said female friend left after awhile and he hung behind when she was gone and had "the talk". I told him I wasn't single (which was true) and I'm dating a woman (also true). He was disappointed but still wants me to go to a concert with him this weekend. We're in a mutual friend group, sort of the only regular friend group I've made since moving to this city relatively recently, and I don't want one fuck up to cut off the whole social outlet for me. Should I go to the concert with him "as friends"? I'm not actually interested in the music... but I'm worried if I don't, this friend group becomes awkward.

Also, the female friend called me after she left because she noticed what was going on. She had been worried about me and thought it was really inappropriate for a guy to invite himself over to a woman's apartment like that and then ask her out late at night all alone in her place (because what if he had been a predator). It didn't peg me as weird, but do you think it's inappropriate for a guy to ask a girl out in that setting, or is she being paranoid?

IMO, it's a little weird. I raise an eyebrow at anyone inviting themselves over anywhere. But a guy doing it when you're not that close AND staying past the time when their people leave AND putting you on the spot... ehhh. He might mean well, but that was awkward as shit. I'd say no the concert. I wouldn't necessarily cut him off, but I'd avoid one on one outings until I could be sure he wasn't going to be weird about the rejection.

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 03:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Advice.

(Anonymous) - 2018-06-06 04:04 (UTC) - Expand

Agreeing with anon above you on the awkwardness he sort of put you in by basically tagging along just to ask you out (though at the same time, maybe he wasn't sure how else to approach you so I can sort of forgive that).

At the same time, I'd probably say no to the concert basically just on the whole not being interested in the music thing. You've made it clear you're seeing someone, I would give him a chance to remain just friends doing friendly things, but that doesn't mean doing something that I don't enjoy especially when it's going to be just the two of you and it's not like say... bowling or mini putt where you can enjoy hanging with someone peripherally to the activity at hand. Concerts are like movies to me, you're there to see a show more than you're there 'with' someone/people. If that makes sense?

It's not a situation I would have been comfortable with, because I know how wrong it can go. I am a lot more wary about men trying to get me alone now.

It's inappropriate to invite yourself into someone's space, IMO. It also sort of hits another wary point for me that he didn't back off at least temporarily in wanting to spend time with you. There is the more benign reason for trying to just push past the awkwardness or maybe not understanding that it's uncomfortable, or he is hoping you will be persuaded and has not taken your "no" as definitive.

Let him know that the music thing doesn't interest you. Set some boundaries for yourself with him so that you will be able to see if he respects your space and what you're telling him. If he takes it fine, then that's great and maybe you'll eventually find something to bond over as friends, but don't take it at face value that someone is on the same page as you with regards to how they view your interactions. A social outing to you may still be something he thinks of as a chance to convince you or to get you away from people who might be more firm in establishing boundaries on your behalf. You sound maybe a little naive or unsure of that, and some people will take full advantage of it.

Don't worry about making things awkward by being more firm and decisive. It is not you that is ignoring social cues. He is the one forcing you to make things awkward by putting you in that position. Better things be awkward than you be uncomfortable or in any situation where you feel unsafe.

If you are interested in going to the concert, go.
If you want to throw him a clear signal that 'this is just about the concert," then take a friend as well. Better yet, take your partner.

As for whether it was innapropriate or not... yeah, there are BETTER ways to ask somebody out, but he behaved more awkwardly than badly - badly would be not accepting your answer or throwing a fit about you leading him on or something along those lines. It's all about boundaries - if you don't want people tagging along with you, make it clear they aren't welcome; a clear "good bye, now," works well; or if somebody doesn't want to leave when the others do, my usual policy is to hold the door open and ask "So, do you have everything you came with? Hope you get home safe". It's hard as FUCK to set clear boundaries with people who like you more than you like them, especially if they're new acquaintances and you can't yet peg how they'll react - it sucks. It equally sucks when you find somebody attractive but aren't quite sure if its mutual and find yourself awkwardly tagging along hoping for one-on-one time in which to ask (I mean, for self-aware people, the mere fact that there isn't any one-on-one time is a signal that, no, they're just not into you, but ... hope springs eternal). So I'd peg it as awkward, yes, but innapropriate, not really.

I'm more confused by the behaviour of your friend, who was worried about you and the guy AND LEFT YOU ALONE WITH HIM only to call later. That is bizarre to me. What was her reasoning? "this looks wierd, but not my problem, I need to catch the bus"? "Well, this is creepy, but maybe she'll be okay with it, I'll get out of the way to give him a shot at it, but then call later just to make sure it didn't go badly"? I mean... what the hell?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only