[ SECRET POST #4909 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4909 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 48 secrets from Secret Submission Post #703.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

General comments:

(If the thread contains spoilery/triggery content please warn/post as 2nd comment so it collapses!
Please collapse images, too!)

Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

^^^

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I’m an idiot in every respect and a little pissed that people convinced me otherwise.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm off antihistamines for a week because I'm doing allergy skin testing Thursday. I hate having to be off antihistamines. I have bad allergies that I take Allegra for, and I also use Benadryl for sleep and Meclizine for vertigo. Thursday feels so far away and I'm already feeling the lack.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I just want to sleep for a thousand years

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I majorly fucked up this afternoon by blowing up at someone and it has detonated quite possibly four of my friendships.

The pissing annoying thing is, the reason I reacted badly to something they posted was because it was more of the same pattern of behaviour I have been putting up with for the last six years. This person lives their victimhood and is the kind of person who complains incessantly about how hard they have it but never does anything to change their lot and at the same time has no interest in any other single person. They're overweight and it's hard, but oh no - it can't possibly be their high fat diet and lack of exercise. They live off their partners money and indulge whatever whim they fancy because they have depression. But oh it's so much easier for me because I have a job, even though I've had to fight tooth and nail to get and keep my job through the major psychological and health issues I've experienced in the last ten years.

I've borne it all, because I've felt sorry for them and understood some of where they're coming from. But tonight they post a totally unsubstantiated claim, which I posted something that had an actual real life example of the opposite. My fuck up was that I handled it in a completely insensitive way. But their reaction was basically to shout about all the things that had been so hard for them and didn't I know how hard it had been for them.

Yes, I did know. In fact I was the only friend of our immediate circle who had actually sat down and talked about it with them. They had actually complained about how little our other friends would contact her to my face.

So I noped out. I'm done with our relationship. But now I look like the bad guy, unless I drag out into public all the other reasons why this is my end point. So I either lose my other friends or air dirty laundry and look like an even bigger asshole and possibly destroy their friendships too.

Man I wish I'd handled things differently.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I wish I could clean my whole house and keep it clean. It’s actually pretty tiny, I’m just a hoarder and also the female, RL version of Pigpen from Peanuts. I shower at least every other day, I wash my hands constantly these days and always did after going to the bathroom and before and after eating, I always start the day in clean clothes. But I always look like I’m one step up from homeless and my house is a sty. Even when I get something cleaned up it’s a mess two days later, if not sooner.

I have executive function issues generally, but I keep myself fed and mostly get to work on time every day. Why does everything related to keeping stuff clean and organized feel like more work than flying by flapping my arms?

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I don't understand why my dad isn't taking COVID-19 seriously. Mom is at high risk! He's a goddamn scientist! How fucking hard is it to learn better habits when your family is in danger?!

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm really tired and busy. Yesterday I was working on assignments and did not get as much done as I had hoped. Now I have to go into work today to finish up some stuff in addition to all the assignments I have not done yet. I will do it, but my sleep schedule is messed up and my motivation is very low.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I;ve only been in love with two people. I'm married to one of them. The other I was friends with ten years ago and had no idea. He suddenly decided he didn't like me as a person years ago and we haven't spoken since, but it wasn't until two days ago that he deleted me off facebook.

It's been bugging me all weekend, and it hurts way more than I expected.

Re: Vent thread

[sparklywalls]

I'm really fed up of having to live life this way because I'm finding it so draining. Sometimes I miss even simple things like being able to walk straight into a supermarket without queuing. Yet at the same time I don't get people who can't wait to go to the pub/a restaurant/etc because I don't think I'd feel ready or safe right away.

I think we're looking at the end of the month for non-essential shops (we're a little behind England) and mid-July for tourist attractions. But given the nature of the one I work for, I can't imagine we'll be able to open. It's the same stairway up and down - impossible to socially distance unless you restrict numbers. The accounts/projections coming from our company accountant are really scaring me though.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I think I've finally hit my burnout point.
Found out that my country (UK) isn't accepting change.org petitions to bring up debates any more (so so many signatures down the toilet - also had found out that conversion therapy is actually legal here through that news so that wasn't great), they're shelving trans health and laws 'for the time being' and I'm worried shitless over my friend who decided to go to the protest up London for Blm - who has immune system issues like me and is vulnerable to the virus that's still going around.
Plus I stupidly let some dumb fandom drama get under my skin and ended up crying for most of the day while pissing off family for being so miserable recently. I'm starting to see the appeal of going into the woods and never coming back to humanity (not that will ever happen since I'll probably never willingly give up the internet lol).

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

This is stupid in the grand scheme of things, but a pair of sandals that I've worn comfortably for a couple of years gave me massive blisters when I wore them for the first time this season and I'm pretty bummed.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I am trying to finish my story that's been a WIP for 5 years. I promised myself I would focus only on that story. What have I done instead today? Written 6,000 words of a new three part series that has dark sci-fi fuckery, fluff, and then major character death with angst and h/c as its arc. Who the hell is even going to want to read that?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Re: Vent thread

[kaijinscendre]

I am having actual nightmares at the stuff my work wants to cross train me on. I don't know how to bring up to my boss how much I don't want the responsibility they are trying to put on me, especially since I am not even getting a pay raise. It is work that could cost of thousands if I mess up, I will have to start coordinating with dozens of people, AND I would be in charge of our one driver. I don't want to be in charge of anyone.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Me vs. Me: Leftovers - The Constant Struggle

It's there. I want it.
I don't need it.
It's there. I want it.
I'm not hungry.
It's there. I want it.
I'll want it later.
It's there. I want it.
I'm trying to control myself.
It's there. I want it.
Please stop.
It's there. I want it. It's there. I want it. It's there. I want it. It's there. I want it. It's there. I want it. It's there. I want it (repeat until I give in)

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm getting the birth control implant on Wednesday and today I went and got the implant itself from the pharmacy (and I'll take it to the gyno and they'll stick it in me), and the box is ENORMOUS. Like HOLY SHIT. I get that it's mostly packaging but I don't want to open the box because I kind of don't want to know how much is packaging???
And I'm mad because I'm not even sexually active, I just have to get it because I have PCOS and if I'm not on BC I'm at a hugely increased risk of uterine cancer and I WAS on the pill but then I got a blood clot and WHY! CAN'T! MY! BODY! JUST! WORK!?!

Re: Vent thread

[tabaqui]

Everything seemed to be going pretty good, and then suddenly - every fucking time i turn around, fucking SPIDERS!! Climbing down the walls or running across the floor. I've always know the attic was full of them (brown recluse), and the occasional one didn't bother me, but WTF?!! WHY!! GO AWAY!!

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I ordered a pair of expensive boots online recently, in two different sizes, because I wasn't sure which size would fit.

I discovered after they got here that the brand won't let me return the boots to the store, and that they make the customer pay the return shipping. Also, it seems like neither pair really fits, so in the end it'll have cost me like $50 just to try on and return two fucking pairs of boots.

I am pissed.

I'm usually really good about reading the shipping and returns policy (because of you're not American shipping is basically always complete bullshit), but they kind of buried the "you pay return shipping" bit like six bullet points down. Plus, none of the other brands I shop with charge return shipping if the purchase qualified for free shipping, which mine did.

Basically, fuck AllSaints, is what I'm saying.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

My mother emerges from her study and tells me to tidy up the kitchen. I tell her that I did the drying up and put away the dishes before I had lunch (it being lunchtime, at that moment). She huffs and tells me that not all of the dishes are away, actually. I consider the benefits of matricide. I also consider telling her that the coffee stains all over the bench sure as shit don't come from the one person in the house who doesn't drink coffee.

Re: Vent thread

[caecilia]

I think I have ADHD and I'm trying to make a doctor's appointment and it's so frustrating waiting to hear back from them. I really think I need medication for it because I cannot go on feeling like every little thing is a giant insurmountable problem. I'm pretty sure this is the cause of years worth of writer's block.

I'm in a self-publishing group and I decided that since I'm unemployed but relatively stable for now it's the perfect time to try to get my writing career off the ground except like, two days ago I was really enthused about a concept and started outlining and then hit a wall and it feels like I'm hitting the wall repeatedly.

The other day my family had its fourth death this year, and the third within a month. Two from cancer, one from COVID and one I'm not entirely sure, for all I know it could have been COVID but was early January so it wasn't on our radar.

Last night I deactivated facebook and went to bed and woke up to messages from my mom FREAKING OUT because she couldn't get ahold of me at freakin 4 am, meanwhile she's in another chat with my uncle and I (messenger still works on mobile when you deactivate facebook) so I'm seeing her freaking out TO HIM about me, and now that I've reactivated it she's in that group telling him that she got ahold of me. Like. Does she. Know that I've been here reading the convo the entire time???


god I'm just

bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

The group I'm part of at work recently sent in an official complaint, asking for better communication with - well everyone really, and for the workload to be lessened.
Mind, my group is generally known for being quiet, unobtrusive, and for Getting Things Done, so the complaint came as a bit of a shock to everyone. Upper management apparently had no idea it had gotten that bad and promised to look into the situation.

Result: communication got even worse and right now it's looking like the workload will actually double for the next few weeks.
Thanks for nothing, then.

Ugh, even thinking about this stresses me out so badly my brain turns to mush.

Whatcha listening to, FS?

[(Anonymous)]

?

Unvent about Kitten

[(Anonymous)]

This isn't a vent, really - at least I hope it's not cus I'm not putting it there. "Vent" implies I'm not grateful to finally have this kitten in my life, and I am. I'm literally that Brooklyn 99 "day and a half" meme with this kitten, and I want to make sure she's loved and safe...

which is half of the not-vent dilemma, cus she's picked my bed to sleep in at night both nights she's been here. It's not as if she doesn't have a bed, we bought her two, but she's picked my pillow and then my quilt of her own volition. But i toss and turn quite a lot in my sleep, and the thought of squishing her accidentally is terrifying to me, when she's so new and soon. To not help matters, she's currently very human-touch-averse, having only been handled for medication so far, so it's not like I can pick her up and put her in her actual bed without fuss and broken trust.

Any ideas on what to do about this, outside of just lying stiff and not sleeping while she does? Most of the advice ive seen amounts to "don't cosleep" which is great until the kitten decides to cosleep without your input or "she'll get out of the way if you roll over" except what if she doesn't, and i feel like im overthinking this and not being grateful for or enjoying the cat but im so worried, it hurts my skull.

Ipod alternatives

[philstar22]

I'm going to need to replace my ipod at some point, its having some issues, so I've started looking. I want something bigger next time. I've got the smallest one, 30 gigs, from several generations back.

I'd like something big, like the 128 gig or 256 gig things. I have a ton of music, and right now I can't put nearly as much as I'd like on my Ipod and keep having to delete songs to put new ones on. I used to love the Ipod classic until they stopped making those. The Ipod touch does come in the big sizes now, but it would be 300 dollars for the 128 and 400 for the 256.

Is there a more affordable alternative that would still be a larger size?